“You sure have been testy lately.”
The comment jabs like a knife into the already tender wound of my own weakness. I am testy – but I don’t want to be told. I want to be heard, seen, validated, comforted. Don’t they see that my testiness is a sign of my emptiness? I’m given out, spent, weary.
All this past week I have listened – listened to the hearts of other women – listened to my own heart. We seem to have a theme – we are tired. We have spent the last several months caring for the emotional health of our families, dealing with the uncertainty of life itself, juggling new roles that have been thrust upon us in the pandemic, and wondering about the fears that we have inside ourselves. It’s not really that we are in it alone – many of us have wonderful partners, supportive families, fabulous friends – but we process things differently, grieve differently. The emotions of change, and fear, and grief, and uncertainty take their toll.
In her book “One Thousand Gifts,” Ann Voskamp says,
“Hurry always empties a soul.”
Voskamp p.67
— As does grief, anxiety, fear …
It’s time to pause.
I know it feels like the world has been on pause – and it has – but this is a different pause. This pause is about encouraging yourself, finding strength in the Lord, renewing your spirit, and getting filled up so you can continue to pour out.
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
Isaiah 40:31
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God, my hope comes from him.”
Psalm 62:5
This pause is biblical.
God tells us to rest – to be still – to listen – to be quiet. God tells us to pause! He designed our bodies and our hearts for rest. This really shouldn’t be surprising since it is hard to seek God’s presence while running a sprint. We have to slow down – stop even – in order to seek Him, to hear Him. to experience the fullness of His abundance.
“Be still before the Lord.”
Psalm 37:7
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15
This pause is filling.
Oh the abundance – the boundless riches – that He longs to pour into our souls.
“I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being … that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
Ephesians 3:16,19
May I pause to be filled – so I can pour out yet again.
Selah