Several years ago, in the midst of the chaos of life, finding myself surrounded by messes, I cried out to God! “Please,” I pleaded with Him, “Please, fix my house!” I asked with desperation and urgency, but I asked with faith. I had visions of my prayer being answered by a certain reality TV crew sweeping in and leveling the mess we had made. Meanwhile, we would be sent away on vacation to dream about the amazingly dramatic new structure that would be revealed to us when we returned. I still think that would be nice!
God has been answering that prayer that I still repeat on a regular basis, though not as I had envisioned. Of course, God never answers my prayers the way I envision. He always does it so much better! I wanted a quick fix, an instant answer. I wanted all of our mistakes and oversights and messes to be blown up or pushed down and swept away. I wanted a do over – but I wanted to start brand new and instantly. Thank God He knows better than we do! He is a God who is more about the process than the product. He knows that we must take part in the change in order for the change to be real and lasting. While I thought it would have been great to go away and come home to a total transformation, God is the type of renovator that requires the homeowners to be fully present and completely involved.
In my prayer, I was really just asking God for a new house with clean closets and finished rooms, but God knew that more than just my house needed fixing. I really needed Him to fix my home, and that would turn out to be so much more than had entered my mind that day. I am so glad that God does not just hear the cry of my mouth – He also hears the cry of my heart! Though our house fix does sometimes include the actual building that we live in, it often includes many other aspects of our home, including, but not limited to, our finances, our health, our relationships, our faith, etc.
Many years later, we are still working on the fixing of this house and home. My children are nearly grown and it still seems that we are as big of a mess as we have always been – but just the other day I sat overwhelmed by the “fixing” that has been done. I have watched as our oldest son leveled his life with the mess he made. Though he was not sent away on a dream vacation, he was given a break from life in order that he might be rebuilt. I stand amazed as I look at the masterpiece he is becoming. God is teaching him to use the gifts he has been given for amazing things. Our daughter has been quietly undergoing her own transformation as God builds her confidence and boldness. Gradually, she is revealing gifts she has kept tucked neatly away – surprising us all. Before my eyes, she is unfurling like a beautiful – and fierce – flower! Our youngest two, who in the past almost always participated in similar activities, are developing their own interests and boldly pursuing their choices.
My house is still a mess. We are busy and unorganized and exhausted most of the time, but we are also fulfilled and joyous and grateful. Our life is not designed to be lived neatly and without interruption – it is messy and always evolving. I would still like to hone my less than perfect housekeeping skills, but I am thankful that God has been able to use our mess to create a masterpiece!
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Proverbs 14:1
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
Isaiah 58:12