by wendy | Mar 16, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Trusting God
“Creek” by Wendy Custer Prints, Cards, Journals available at cornercopiafarmandstudio.com
It is an interesting time. The pandemic is causing a forced slowdown for everyone in some capacity. Many of us are used to our busy lives, and even though we sometimes complain and talk about slowing down, this is startling and unsettling for many. As a result, my family has returned to things we haven’t done in years. One of my favorite “new” routines is the walk we used to take to creek down the road. As we ventured there together yesterday, I was reminded of something I wrote during another slow down in my life. I hope it brings peace and hope into your life today.
The Still Place an excerpt from “A Cup of Encouragement” by Wendy Custer 2007
I walked the creek today. Normally, I am drawn to the places where I can hear the water tumbling over the stones. The noise of the water gurgling, trickling, rushing is a soothing sound to me. I enjoy watching the water find its way around the rocks, forming interesting patterns, carrying with it leaves and twigs. I like to observe what will make its way around the rocks and what will become trapped.
Today, though, I was drawn to a different place. I stopped at an area where the water was quiet, almost still, and for some reason it filled me with wonder. How can the same body of water be rushing before and rushing after, but in the middle be so quiet and almost not moving? The water seemed to form a pool, an oasis of peace in the midst of the busyness. There was no sound. Leaves gently floated instead of tumbling. There were no ripples. It made no sense. Shouldn’t the momentum of before push this water along at the same pace? Didn’t the motion further downstream have to come from this same water? It seemed to say that it is okay to stop and rest for a while. It is alright for life to virtually halt. Peace is good and natural. The busyness and excitement will return in due time.
I noticed that the place where the water was still and quiet was also deeper and clearer. The areas where the water rushed was often shallow, full of rocks, limbs, and other obstacles. Also, the movement of the water itself made it difficult to see below the surface.
In life I often prefer and gravitate towards the rushing water. I find the busyness of life – the patterns, the sounds, stimulating and exciting. But I wonder if it is the distraction that I enjoy most. As I have taken a sabbatical from my life lately, a quietness and stillness has naturally formed. It has been a bit frightening. To give up all of the rushing and the momentum, to be quiet and still, is to give up control. I have to trust that I will be given the opportunity to have that movement again. Am I moving now? Yes, I must be, just as that water in the still place was moving. However, it is a peaceful, contemplative moving with depth and clarity that is not possible in rushing water.
Now, when I get to a place of excitement and tumbling, the movement is no longer mine, but God’s. What freedom to know that I can be still, that I don’t have to keep moving just to keep that momentum going. I can be free to enjoy the peace now and the rushing, tumbling, excitement when it comes.
“He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.”
Psalm 23:2b-3a
by wendy | Mar 11, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
I sat on the bleachers at a lacrosse game last night, watching our senior in his last season of high school sports. Jerry was moving around the stadium, socializing with his friends, but I chose a seat next to a friend. Just last week, that same friend had complimented me on our ability to handle difficult relationships in our lives. This night, she would get a front row seat to the wrestling match I have within me when I encounter issues in some of those very relationships.
Each one of us has difficult relationships at one point or another – some of us struggle with them for a lifetime. While there are people that we can just separate ourselves from, there are some that we must learn to deal with – and if we are Christ followers we must learn to approach those relationships with the mind of Christ.
Romans 12:9-21 has long been a favorite passage of mine. I discovered this “list” when I was going through one of my roughest seasons. The words challenged me to love the person who was causing me the most pain at the time. I have adopted these verses as my mantra for how to deal with difficult relationships and they have guided and redirected me in every interaction since.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44 that we should love our enemies. It may seem harsh to describe those people in your life that are hard to deal with as enemies, but it certainly can be how we feel at times. It is easy to love the people who show us love, but how do we love those who can seem unlovable?
Romans 12:9 tells us that love must be sincere. I love the way The Message puts it:
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.”
Romans 12:9 MSG
and from the New Living Translation:
“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.”
Romans 12:9 NLT
No matter which way it is said, it all adds up to changing the way we think about love. The love Paul is talking about here is not a feeling – we are called to sincerely love others with our actions. We can choose to demonstrate love regardless of how we are feeling at the time.
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18
I will never forget something another friend shared in a small group years ago. She explained that when someone hurts her feelings or treats her rudely, she prays for several days and then purchases them a thoughtful gift. The prayer, she noted, changes her heart toward the person and opens her up to be able to give the gift cheerfully. The gift often changes the other person’s heart as that tangible encouragement softens them. What a beautiful example of love in action!
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.”
1 John 4:7
We cannot truly love without God. He is the source of all love, and without him we are left with our own brokenness and selfish motives. As I struggled through my thoughts and emotions last night on the bleachers, I must admit I did some grumbling. But I also did some praying and some preaching to myself. I reminded myself that my enemy is not people – even though it feels that way at times. God calls me to love and encourage the people in my life – even when it is complicated and hard – and he gives me everything I need to do just that.
“If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. and so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”
1 John 4:15-16
My hope is that my friend was able to see some of the process I have for working through difficult relationships. I am not different from anyone else. I experience hurt, frustration, even anger when people are hard to get along with. Perhaps what people see – looking from the outside – is the result of pausing, praying, and preaching to myself about what God says about sincere love as I rely on the love God has for me. May it be so!
And for those times that I don’t do it well – when I fail to demonstrate love – I am thankful that I serve a God of grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I trust that he will give me another chance, and I choose to get up and once again walk in love.
by wendy | Mar 3, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart
I attended a book launch last night for a local author. The entire event was a blessing as I rejoiced for another writer who has poured her heart out onto the pages of a book that will land in the hands of many souls. One of my favorite parts of the evening was the conversation that happened on the stage – a conversation that was so honest and intimate that I was drawn in as if I sat in their midst. One of the ladies on the panel shared about a time of suffering in her life. I was amazed near the end when she confessed that this was the first time she was speaking about her struggle publicly. The most significant piece for me though, was her revelation that her suffering was meant to advance the kingdom!
Count It All Joy
Suffering is hard – there is just no way around that. We shouldn’t be surprised when we find ourselves there, but somehow each one of us is caught off guard. Jesus warned us that we would experience trouble (John 16:33) and Paul tells us that suffering can make us more like Jesus (Philippians 3:10.) It is only when we are able to recognize the power that comes through suffering that we can “count it all joy” as recommended by James (1:2-4).
Sifted as Wheat
It changes my perspective about difficult times when I realize that Satan has actually asked permission to mess with me. This is not a new concept – we see it several times in Scripture. The study notes in my NIV Bible explain that Satan’s desire is to ruin believers. Job is tested for the same reason – to prove that his faith will not prevail. As the accuser, Satan derives joy from turning people away from God. God, however, uses that very same trial to strengthen the faith of believers. When I am tested and hold fast to my faith, then Satan is proved wrong in his accusations and I am made stronger. But there are benefits even beyond the strengthening!
A Story to Tell
When I have suffered – especially when that struggle is visible to others – I have a powerful story to tell on the other side. The man who was blind from birth and healed by Jesus, Lazarus raised from the dead, The woman at the well running to town to share her experience – each of these stories gives us an example of people who suffered and then couldn’t help but share the outcome with everyone they knew. Each time someone else sees or hears of how God healed, transformed, and saved the lost and hurting, the Kingdom of Heaven grows. Faith is restored, renewed, birthed. My story of pain and suffering frames God’s story of grace, mercy, and love!
A Calling
My suffering highlights my calling. When I have made it through the obstacles with God’s strength, I have an obligation to turn back and reach out to the others facing those same obstacles. Its not that I am to save people in my own strength, but I am to offer specialized encouragement that leads others to the God who saves them! 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 says that we comfort those in any trouble with the same comfort we receive from God. Who better to reach out than the one who has walked that same path?
When I have suffered, I have found purpose. When I am restored, I have been called. I have been sifted – but Jesus has prayed for me! My faith has not failed but it has been made stronger and it is my joy to have a story to tell!
What is your calling? How is your story growing the Kingdom of Heaven? Spend some time in prayer asking God how He can use your story of pain and suffering to show Himself to a hurting world today.
by wendy | Feb 18, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
Last week I witnessed the most sacrificial encouragement. My sweet friend, who was my 22 year old son’s kindergarten teacher, gave him a gift that cost her dearly. She came several times to watch him coach basketball – a sacrifice in and of itself since she lost her husband who was a referee just three years ago. Knowing that he had a special relationship with her husband, my friend presented my son with photos and special treasures that belonged to her husband to remind my son that he was treasured and loved.
I cried. He cried. She cried. The moment was heart-wrenching and beautiful and sacred. We all understood the sacrifice – each of us appreciated the gift – together we remembered the loss – ultimately we were all inspired.
Encouraging others is not always easy. We are called to use the hard places in our lives to help others in their own hard places. We give out of our fullness, but we also give out of our pain and the lessons we have learned.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
The comfort we receive from God when we are suffering gains new purpose when we can use that to encourage others! My friend shared how difficult it was for her to be in that gym, with the sound of squeaking shoes and the whistle blowing, but her desire to encourage my son was stronger than the grief for those moments. How often are we willing to push our own pain aside to lift up someone else?
My friend’s husband lived a life of encouragement. He was – and still is – an inspiration to my son and to many other young men he encountered. I pray that God truly blesses her heart as she continues in the legacy he left by choosing to live a life encouragement in spite of her pain. I have to believe that every time she gives away a piece of him, God fills more of the hole her husband’s death left in her heart.
Isn’t it just like God to fill us more and more as we empty ourselves?
Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you. Luke 6:38
I have been reminded in my study this week that God delights in us! He loves to encourage and strengthen us and His encouragement cost Him greatly- it cost Him the life of His son.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
His love for us caused Him to be compassionate towards us – and His compassion moved Him to sacrifice for us. What a beautiful picture of sacrificial encouragement!
Our lives are difficult and we face much adversity every day. It is hard to fathom how we can encourage others when we feel so discouraged ourselves. Let us take a lesson from my friend – when we give out of the pain we have and the comfort we have received, God will use that gift to comfort and bless us even more!
Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25b
