by wendy | Sep 9, 2020 | Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
Just this week I received a phone call from someone close to me. She was upset over the words and actions from another friend and wanted to talk it through. As I listened, I affirmed her feelings – I would have been upset as well – but I was careful not to justify any retribution. My suggestions for how to handle the situation were difficult – seething and reacting are easier – but I tried to point her back to a godly way of handling the situation and the relationship.
It was not a coincidence that our Pastor’s sermon Sunday was on the topic of submission within marriage from Ephesians 5. While my friend’s situation had nothing to do with marriage, I was reminded of a point Pastor Jason made emphatically within his talk, “According to Ephesians 5: 21, we are called to submit to all believers!”
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Ephesians 5:21
The Greek word for submit in this passage is “hupotassó” and it means to yield – a word that has a much more positive connotation in today’s society. Yielding always makes me think of traffic and a specific memory comes to mind. Read this excerpt from my Bible Study, “Godly Relationships.”
While traveling on the interstate down to Fort Bragg to visit our soldier-in-training, an RV attempted to change lanes in front of us. A compact car happened to be in his blind spot and we watched helplessly as the large vehicle veered over. Thankfully, the little car had room to move close to the guard rail and scoot out of the way quickly while the RV jerked back into place. An accident was narrowly avoided and my husband, Jerry, used it as a teaching moment for our soon-to-be-released driver in the back seat. “Do you know what you should do in that situation Trevor?” Our son shook his head. “You give the other vehicle as much room as possible!” Jerry wisely instructed.
In Relationships – just like on the highway – people will often pull recklessly into our lane and cut us off. While we may have the right-of-way, we have two choices – give them some space or suffer a dangerous collision.
– Wendy Custer, Godly Relationships
My friend had suffered something similar – she was “cut off” by someone she trusted. She had two choices: 1. She could plow through them claiming the right-of-way, or 2. She could yield to their reckless behavior and avoid a collision. In the first reaction, both parties would likely be harmed, but in the second, a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation would be more possible. The first choice leaves little room for future relationship, while the second requires sacrifice. Hard stuff – but valuable.
Ephesians 5 divulges several keys to this kind of yielded living:
Wisdom is the ability to use the knowledge that one has. This implies thinking through words and actions and choosing them carefully. A wise person considers all angles before acting and understands the impact on every party.
Look for opportunity. (Ephesians 5:16)
While Ephesians 5:15 is written about relationship between believers, Colossians 4:5 is identical except that it speaks of opportunity with unbelievers. Truthfully, we should see every interaction with everyone as an opportunity to live out our calling to be like Jesus. Pause and ask yourself, “What opportunity do I have in this situation?”
Understand the Lord’s will. (Ephesians 5:17)
The only way to understand God’s will is to study His Word. As we read and learn from Scripture, we can know how God desires for us to handle our relationships. His will is clearly written in every book of the Bible, but this article lists some very clear verses to focus on.
“Bible Verses about God’s Will”
Some key elements include: God’s desire for all to be saved, His desire for us to prosper, the command for us to be set apart, the reminder that He equips us for doing good, and Jesus’s direction to deny ourselves.
Be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)
Thankfully, we are never asked to do any of this in our own power. The Spirit empowers and equips us to live and love in the power of God. Paul’s suggestion here is to be continually filled with the Spirit which requires going to God on a daily basis and submitting to His ways.
Be thankful. (Ephesians 5:20)
This is perhaps the most difficult of the list. Training our heart to be thankful in the midst of difficult circumstances and relationships is so hard because it requires us to think of something other than how we feel. The practice of being thankful is perhaps the single most life-changing thing we can train ourselves to do. When I am able to flip my perspective from my suffering to my blessings, understanding God’s protection and provision in my life, I can easily yield to another person.
Yield to one another. (Ephesians 5:21)
You know the saying, “Just do it.” Well – just do it. Yield. But be sure you do it with all of the other keys in place. Be wise, look for opportunity, understand the Lord’s will, be filled with the Spirit, be thankful, AND THEN yield.
You may very well be like that little car – a bit out of breath, startled, shaken, cautious, frustrated, and fully intact and able to drive ahead. These are not easy principles, but they are life-saving and life-giving.
“Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:17-18
by wendy | Sep 3, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God
I love the scene in the movie, “Facing the Giants” when the prayer walker encourages the coach to prepare for rain. He tells the story of two farmers waiting for rain. He reminds him that though rain will fall on both fields, the farmer that will reap the most rewards is the one who has prepared his field. That farmer will harvest a crop and the other will simply get wet.
Which farmer will I be? Are my “fields” prepared for the rain of God’s righteousness and blessings?
“Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you.”
Hosea 10:12
If I am to be prepared for the Lord to rain on me, I must examine myself for fallow ground. What areas of my life are overgrown, not fruitful, or simply not in use? I must clear those areas of weeds – get rid of any ungodly attitudes and activities – and sow righteousness there by replacing the ungodly with the godly. I must submit those areas to prayer and seek to give them to God.
“For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.”
Isaiah 44:3
When I prepare for rain – and God pours it out – the rewards are amazing! He says we will spring up like grass – and that is a picture I can fully relate to in this time of rain we are having lately. So much rain and sun that we cannot keep the grass mowed!
“You heavens above, rain down my righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness flourish with it; I, the LORD, have created it.”
Isaiah 45:8
We can receive God’s righteousness and salvation when we are open to it. And the Scripture says we will flourish!
“Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.”
Deuteronomy 32:2
His Word is as refreshing and restoring as the dew, showers, and abundant rain. Oh, that we would soak it in!
“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:10-11
Praise God that His Word does its work every time. I pray that I am open so it will do its work in me!
“Blessed are you whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion.”
Psalm 84:5-7
The Valley of Baka is also known as The Valley of Weeping. When I am intent on seeking Him – even in the difficult places – may I see His blessings in all things and rely on His strength each day!
Amen
by wendy | Aug 27, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Trusting God
Just one month ago – in the midst of a hot July – the brown, dry grass crunched beneath my feet as I walked through the yard. Grass weaves a mat of shallow roots just below the surface of the earth and it depends on frequent moisture to keep it alive. There was no moisture in July this year. Just when I decided to count my blessings that at least we wouldn’t need to mow, the rains of August began to come. and come. and come. It has rained so much this month that our once dried up lawn is lush and constantly growing! Now, instead of crunching beneath my feet, I can’t walk across the yard without my shoes becoming soaking wet and we cannot keep up with the mowing. Those shallow roots are drinking in their fill and new grass has sprung up!
“They will spring up like grass in a meadow,like poplar trees by flowing streams.”
Isaiah 44:4
It is wonderful to see the new green grass, but I don’t want to be like that grass – here today when the blessings flow and withered tomorrow when the sun is scorching – instead I would rather be like my blackberry plants. When we planted the blackberries, we inquired about their care from a neighboring berry farm.
“Do you water them often?” I asked.
“I never water them,” she explained. “I want their roots to go deep to access the natural water supply. If I watered them, the roots would stay shallow depending on me.”
We stay shallow when we depend on earthly things.
We need to go deep – and depend on God.
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8
What does it look like to have confidence in the Lord?
Send out your roots by the water – transplant yourself
All of the language in this passage is active – not passive. Jeremiah says that a person with confidence in the Lord SENDS out their roots. The word for PLANTED in verse 7 also means “transplanted.” If we are not planted by the water currently, then we must dig up our roots and move them.
Dig into the Word, drink in the Spirit, be intentional about staying in the presence of God.
“Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.”
Psalm 1:1-3
by wendy | Jul 28, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
Jerry and I went for a walk early this morning. We know we should exercise every day, but today we actually did it. We walk down our rural road – under the shade of the trees that hang over the pavement, past the cows on the neighboring farm, sometimes all the way to the creek in the curve at the bottom of the hill. It is a pleasant walk on the way down, but we trudge uphill all the way back! As I struggled to keep up with my husband this morning, I had to keep reminding myself that walking is an important discipline to strengthen my weak legs.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:11
There are so many things in life that are hard. It seems like this particular time in the world is more difficult than any I can remember before. I often hear people complain that if God really loved us, He wouldn’t allow us to go through difficult things. I even read a post recently that suggested that God enjoyed our disappointments. I thought about all the times I have allowed my kids to go through something difficult because I knew they would grow from it and I remember that it is my love that kept me from “saving” them from the struggle. I want my children to be strong and able to withstand the storms I know they will face, so I lovingly walk alongside them through challenges instead of taking on those challenges for them. I am grateful to know that my Heavenly Father walks alongside me as well.
“Endure hardship as discipline, God is treating you as His children.”
Hebrews 12:7
Even as difficult as those hills are on our journey back home, I always choose that particular road for our walk instead of the street in front of our house. There are less hills to climb along that way, but there is a long stretch of road that tilts sideways and my ankles have a tendency to turn. While my legs are typically screaming on that last incline, I would much prefer a steep but level path than risk injury along the easy way.
“Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”
Hebrews 12:12-13
We should be able to apply this same concept to our attitude toward life and righteousness. We can choose the more difficult path over the easier path that might lead to a fall or setback. Doing the right thing is hard, living a holy life is strenuous, forgiveness and mercy and love require constant effort and choice. The Bible uses words like throw off, cast aside, resist, make every effort, endure – this is not light and fluffy language – we should not be fooled into thinking the journey will be easy.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
Hebrews 12:14
Suddenly I understand – strengthening my weak self is not just about me – I choose to follow God’s ways because it helps others to be strengthened as well. When I can choose to be holy, do the right thing, forgive, love, show mercy, I am a picture of God’s love to the world. Choosing the level path for myself welcomes others to walk alongside me and invites them to experience righteousness and peace as well.
“Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Hebrews 12:3
The level path is not popular – many will scoff at our choice to take the hard way. But we have so many examples of faithful followers who chose it anyway. Enjoy the journey. Notice the blessings along the way. Strengthen your arms and your knees and use that uphill march to remind yourself that God is walking alongside and encouraging you all the way home!
“Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
by wendy | Jul 15, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships, Hospitality
My sweet elderly neighbor has recently returned from the hospital. Agnes is such an important part of our community here – she truly has a servant heart. Though her mind and spirit are in excellent shape, her body is declining and she needs assistance in order to stay in her home. It is a hard thing for Agnes to accept as she has always been the caretaker, but she is also so grateful for the people who are offering their help.
It has brought such joy to my heart to see the many people volunteering their time to stay with my dear friend. Agnes calls us her “committee” and there are more than 10 volunteers, along with family and some hired help that have come together to assist her through this time. It is an amazing testimony to what it looks like to follow God’s commands about looking after the widows.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
James 1:27
My word study helped me to understand the words and phrases James used in this passage:
- “to look after” implies a range of actions from visiting to inspecting, or being concerned about the needy
- “religion” is defined as the expression of worship
In other words, we express pure worship when we are concerned about and act on behalf of the needy – or those who cannot look after themselves. James goes deeper into this concept later in Chapter 2 when he goes as far as to say that our actions define our faith.
“Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
James 2:17
It is important to note that James in NOT saying that we are saved by our actions or deeds, rather genuine faith will PRODUCE good deeds. When we recognize the grace and mercy of God to save us, we are then compelled to have grace and mercy for others. God acts on our behalf – we act on the behalf of others in gratitude for what God has done for us!
In our society, we are accustomed to widows and orphans being cared for by the government or other entities. Many widows are even able to manage their own care – vastly different from biblical times. So are we to assume that this command is no longer relevant? If it is, who are our widows and orphans and how can we fulfill this command?
In many places in Scripture, God notes the difference between wicked and righteous as those who take care of the poor and needy. For example, in contrast to the wicked son of King Josiah, it is said of his father:
“He defended the cause of the poor and needy.”
Jeremiah 22:16
Josiah loved God by loving others and we are to do the same. Widows and orphans are examples of those who have great need and we should consider them our responsibility even when there are other options for them. But they are not the only examples.
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
Matthew 25:40
When we are discerning who we should look after as a part of our worship and faith, we should ask these 2 questions:
- Who are the poor and needy among us?
- Who are the least of these?
There are many ways to serve – numerous opportunities to follow the command of “doing for the least of these.” As we pray about what God would have us do, let us never forget that we are called to follow God’s example.
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.”
Psalm 68:5
Could he be calling your family to serve the lonely today? Perhaps you are the answer to someone’s prayer.
by wendy | Jul 8, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships, Trusting God
Our Sunday school lesson yesterday was about the Woman at the Well (John 4:4-26). I have come to love this account because of the way it highlights the kindness of God as He chooses the most broken, the most rejected, the least likely of all to spread the news of who He is! This time, as I taught this passage to our youth, I was reminded of His grace – that He would love us and pursue us in our ugliness but doesn’t’ leave us that way. Through His son, He equips us for a life of royalty and service for Him and with Him.
“Because Jesus is about transformation, about finding us just the way we are, but not leaving us that way.”
Zach Hunt Blog
Also this week, our Pastor preached on a portion of Ephesians – about how God gives us pastors and teachers to equip us (Ephesians 4:11-12). Later, I did a little word study on the word equip and found that the Greek word “katartizó” means to prepare or perfect for one’s full destination or use; to bring into one’s proper condition.
It wan’t until I was reviewing the sermon this morning that I recognized the connection between these two teachings. Just as He pursued the Samaritan woman, Jesus pursues us out of his love for us and prepares and perfects us for the good work He has for us to do. In this – the preparing and perfecting, the equipping – He gives us purpose and value, and in turn we encourage and equip others. What a beautiful cycle!
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Ephesians 2:10
I love word study (I use the Hebrew and Greek Lexicon from biblehub.com) and I decided to follow all the links I could find there to see what Scripture says about how God equips us. Here is a bit of what I discovered:
God equips us through Himself
Submit yourself to God and stand firm in your faith – He promises to restore and equip you.
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
1 Peter 5:10
God equips us through pastors and teachers
My husband is a coach, and he looks forward to practice because he really wants his players to be well trained. Our pastors and teachers are the same way – they long to encourage and equip us – they want us to be successful in our Christian lives.
“Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.”
1 Thessalonians 3:10
God equips us through other believers
As believers – as people who live in the Spirit – we are to restore and equip other believers by leading them to the Word, praying for and with them, and encouraging them in the Lord.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”
Galatians 6:1
God equips us through ourselves
While restoration and equipping ultimately comes through God, we are to participate in the process. As we dig into the Word, spend time talking to God in prayer, and join a body of other believers, we are prepared and perfected.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”
2 corinthians 13:11
I love how this verse reminds of that God is a God of peace! May you find peace as you pursue his preparation and perfecting.
“Now may the God of peace… equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever.”
Hebrews 13:20-21
