This gift of encouragement from my friend Cherri encouraged me for weeks!
I love breaking down the word ENCOURAGE:
“En” – to give
“Courage” – confidence, hope, determination
The world is full of discouragement right now – rampant disease, hoarding of supplies, recommended isolation, economic distress, a general feeling of unrest and uneasiness about the unknown. Could there be a time in more need of encouragement?
I have been delighted to see nearly as many reports of encouragement and generosity as I have of bad news – restaurants opening their side doors with food for the hungry, teachers offering their help and knowledge, family members sitting outside of nursing homes so their loved ones can see them while hearing their voices on the phone, random flower deliveries to those serving the underprivileged, offers of neighbors to run errands for the elderly, churches posting sermons online, and so much more. Each time I see another I am inspired to do what I can to encourage others as well!
As many of us are finding ourselves out of the normal routine of our regular jobs, we should pick up the important work of encouragement. As believers, this is a calling and a command!
“From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”
Ephesians 4:16
This may be easier said than done, especially when we are working to find our own footing in these uncertain times. Encouraging others when we are fighting discouragement ourselves requires faith and discipline. But when we become intentional about encouragement, some exciting things happen:
When we redirect our focus to encouragement we encourage ourselves.
Unity prevails in an encouraging culture.
People that are encouraged are more likely to encourage others.
God’s glory is magnified when we use our gifts to encourage.
Light shows up best in the darkest places. The stage has been set and we have everything we need to shine the light. Let’s get to work friends – how can you be intentional about encouraging someone today?
I sat on the bleachers at a lacrosse game last night, watching our senior in his last season of high school sports. Jerry was moving around the stadium, socializing with his friends, but I chose a seat next to a friend. Just last week, that same friend had complimented me on our ability to handle difficult relationships in our lives. This night, she would get a front row seat to the wrestling match I have within me when I encounter issues in some of those very relationships.
Each one of us has difficult relationships at one point or another – some of us struggle with them for a lifetime. While there are people that we can just separate ourselves from, there are some that we must learn to deal with – and if we are Christ followers we must learn to approach those relationships with the mind of Christ.
Romans 12:9-21 has long been a favorite passage of mine. I discovered this “list” when I was going through one of my roughest seasons. The words challenged me to love the person who was causing me the most pain at the time. I have adopted these verses as my mantra for how to deal with difficult relationships and they have guided and redirected me in every interaction since.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44 that we should love our enemies. It may seem harsh to describe those people in your life that are hard to deal with as enemies, but it certainly can be how we feel at times. It is easy to love the people who show us love, but how do we love those who can seem unlovable?
Romans 12:9 tells us that love must be sincere. I love the way The Message puts it:
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.”
Romans 12:9 MSG
and from the New Living Translation:
“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.”
Romans 12:9 NLT
No matter which way it is said, it all adds up to changing the way we think about love. The love Paul is talking about here is not a feeling – we are called to sincerely love others with our actions. We can choose to demonstrate love regardless of how we are feeling at the time.
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18
I will never forget something another friend shared in a small group years ago. She explained that when someone hurts her feelings or treats her rudely, she prays for several days and then purchases them a thoughtful gift. The prayer, she noted, changes her heart toward the person and opens her up to be able to give the gift cheerfully. The gift often changes the other person’s heart as that tangible encouragement softens them. What a beautiful example of love in action!
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.”
1 John 4:7
We cannot truly love without God. He is the source of all love, and without him we are left with our own brokenness and selfish motives. As I struggled through my thoughts and emotions last night on the bleachers, I must admit I did some grumbling. But I also did some praying and some preaching to myself. I reminded myself that my enemy is not people – even though it feels that way at times. God calls me to love and encourage the people in my life – even when it is complicated and hard – and he gives me everything I need to do just that.
“If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. and so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”
1 John 4:15-16
My hope is that my friend was able to see some of the process I have for working through difficult relationships. I am not different from anyone else. I experience hurt, frustration, even anger when people are hard to get along with. Perhaps what people see – looking from the outside – is the result of pausing, praying, and preaching to myself about what God says about sincere love as I rely on the love God has for me. May it be so!
And for those times that I don’t do it well – when I fail to demonstrate love – I am thankful that I serve a God of grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I trust that he will give me another chance, and I choose to get up and once again walk in love.
We don’t have to live very many days on this earth to discover that relationships are not easy. Between our own expectations and the expectations of others, living in harmony often seems like a pipe dream. The Bible is full of reminders to honor one another above ourselves and to seek peace whenever possible, but what does Scripture recommend to those of us who are wired to please everyone?
Instinctively, even those of us who want to please everyone know that it is just not possible. We can wear ourselves out trying to arrange the world, but I have learned the hard way that this usually results in making things worse – and making myself miserable. Even the thought that I might be able to make everyone happy is a form of pride. I just don’t have that kind of power. While on the surface it might seem that my motive is to keep peace, when I uncover the root I usually discover selfishness. Seeking the approval of people can originate from many places. But whether it comes from a sense of fear or a desire for fame, it always comes back to a lack of trust in God. In a sense I am saying, “If I don’t make everything right, then no one will.”
In Galatians 1:10, Paul asks, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This letter is addressing the churches in Galatia who were following false teachers and straying from the gospel message Paul had shared with them. He understood that the gospel was not winning popularity votes and it seemed easier to follow a message that people liked, but he wasn’t preaching to win the approval of people. And we shouldn’t make our decisions based on pleasing people either.
“If we study the life of Jesus, we will find that He most certainly did NOT make decisions based on the expectations of people.“
But aren’t we called to live in peace and to put others first? Philippians 2:3-4 says that we should do nothing out of selfish ambition, vain conceit, or because we are looking to our own interests. Isn’t pleasing others meeting this goal? After all, doesn’t it discourage unity when we don’t bend to the expectations of others? We need only to read the next verse in this passage to find the answer – “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset of Christ Jesus.” If we study the life of Jesus, we will find that He most certainly did NOT make decisions based on the expectations of people. He did, however, make them with the eternity of people in mind. Jesus used wisdom and discernment from the Father in his responses to people.
“James gives us a filter through which to pass our thoughts and actions.”
The book of James gives great insight into living a life of wisdom. James 1:5 reminds us to look to God for wisdom when we are lacking, and James 3:13-18 is a passage about worldly wisdom versus wisdom that comes from God. James gives us a filter through which to pass our thoughts and actions.
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17
We should use these attributes to measure our own motives, but we can also use them to help us choose how to meet the expectations of others.
Is this expectation pure? Does it serve everyone involved or is it based on a selfish desire of that person?
Does this expectation promote peace for others involved, or will it cause conflict among a group?
Is the expectation someone else is placing on me considerate of my feelings and needs, and will it help me to be considerate of others?
Is the person placing this expectation on me submissive to the will of God or simply trying to control me and others in my life?
Does the expectation offer mercy to others or will it bring about good fruit in any way?
Is the person placing this expectation on me impartial and sincere in their desire, or are they simply putting their desires above the good for everyone involved?
James wraps this passage up with a statement that might seems contradictory to choosing not to meet the expectations of people who don’t meet this standard of godly wisdom. He say, “Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” How, then, can we do both?
The book of Proverbs holds a treasure trove of teaching about wisdom. Proverbs 16:1-9 discuss this very issue. “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.”
“Trusting God and submitting to godly wisdom will achieve a longer lasting peace and joy than the temporary approval of people ever will.”
We all think we have the right motive, but only God is able to see through our intentions. He sees into our hearts – and into the hearts of others. When I ask God to intervene and to change hearts – even mine – I am inviting him to work things out with his wisdom and power.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. The Lord works out everything to its proper end.” Proverbs 16: 3-4
Amazingly, when we submit to God’s ways and trust that he has the power to make things right, he also causes peace to reign. Verse 7 reminds us, “When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.” Even when we don’t do it perfectly – if we commit our way to the Lord – he works it all out and his sovereignty overrides our intentions.
It can be a scary thing – especially for a people-pleaser – to deny the expectations that others place on us. But trusting God and submitting to godly wisdom will achieve a longer lasting peace and joy than the temporary approval of people ever will. Simply asking, waiting, submitting the expectations of others to his will leaves room for God to mold our hearts into one – one with each other and one with him!
Measure the expectations others have of you by the standard of godly wisdom. Consult God before responding or taking action and commit your way to him. Ask God today to bring peace into your life and your relationships. Then trust him to do what he says he will do!
“I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.” Psalm 3:5-6
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
Last week I witnessed the most sacrificial encouragement. My sweet friend, who was my 22 year old son’s kindergarten teacher, gave him a gift that cost her dearly. She came several times to watch him coach basketball – a sacrifice in and of itself since she lost her husband who was a referee just three years ago. Knowing that he had a special relationship with her husband, my friend presented my son with photos and special treasures that belonged to her husband to remind my son that he was treasured and loved.
I cried. He cried. She cried. The moment was heart-wrenching and beautiful and sacred. We all understood the sacrifice – each of us appreciated the gift – together we remembered the loss – ultimately we were all inspired.
Encouraging others is not always easy. We are called to use the hard places in our lives to help others in their own hard places. We give out of our fullness, but we also give out of our pain and the lessons we have learned.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
The comfort we receive from God when we are suffering gains new purpose when we can use that to encourage others! My friend shared how difficult it was for her to be in that gym, with the sound of squeaking shoes and the whistle blowing, but her desire to encourage my son was stronger than the grief for those moments. How often are we willing to push our own pain aside to lift up someone else?
My friend’s husband lived a life of encouragement. He was – and still is – an inspiration to my son and to many other young men he encountered. I pray that God truly blesses her heart as she continues in the legacy he left by choosing to live a life encouragement in spite of her pain. I have to believe that every time she gives away a piece of him, God fills more of the hole her husband’s death left in her heart.
Isn’t it just like God to fill us more and more as we empty ourselves?
Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you. Luke 6:38
I have been reminded in my study this week that God delights in us! He loves to encourage and strengthen us and His encouragement cost Him greatly- it cost Him the life of His son.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
His love for us caused Him to be compassionate towards us – and His compassion moved Him to sacrifice for us. What a beautiful picture of sacrificial encouragement!
Our lives are difficult and we face much adversity every day. It is hard to fathom how we can encourage others when we feel so discouraged ourselves. Let us take a lesson from my friend – when we give out of the pain we have and the comfort we have received, God will use that gift to comfort and bless us even more!
Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25b
Watching God at work in the life of someone else just gets me excited! I spent time today with my PIP – my partner in prayer. We have been meeting regularly by phone for a little over 5 months. Each week we text or call to share what God is doing in our lives and to submit our prayer requests to one another. When we are able, we have a long conversation to explain the details – and most important of all – to pray together. It has been the most powerful experience!
The level of trust and intimacy involved in praying for and with someone regularly allows for a ringside view of their journey. I am close enough to see the path she is on, but far away enough to have perspective. She is privy to my thoughts and emotions throughout my experience, but she can step back and see the bigger picture. We are able to encourage, offer wisdom, listen compassionately, and lift one another to God in the midst.
I love the Hebrews 10 passage that encourages us to encourage one another.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25
As I considered those verses today after our prayer time, I was curious about the word “spur.” My only point of reference is the sharp part of a cowboy’s boot that he uses to gouge his horse into action, but that doesn’t sound friendly so I decided to look it up. I was a little surprised to read in the Greek lexicon that the word used actually means to jab someone so they must respond – ouch!
Perhaps I shouldn’t be so shocked at the this imagery being used about a topic that is so important. We tend to be an apathetic people. We become complacent easily and love and good deeds require effort and hard work. If we are not “jabbed” we are likely to fall into a routine of doing nothing and encouraging no one.
I am thankful that God has used my PIP to spur me on and that He allows me to encourage her. There is just nothing that strengthens us more than helping someone else walk through a difficult time.
Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25
Because the encouragement my PIP and I offer each other is rooted in the truth of God’s Word, I know that every encouragement I offer to her can be turned back to me – and passed along to someone else! Mutual encouragement, powerful prayers, good fruit, blessings abound.
Want a PIP for yourself? Offer to be a prayer partner to someone else. You may see the need for support and encouragement in their life, but you will be amazed at the encouragement you will receive in return!
The print featured above is available along with all of Wendy’s Prints, Cards, Journals, and Stickers at www.cornercopiafarmandstudio.com or by clicking on the shop on our home page.
Our pastor mentioned this verse in his sermon Sunday and it caught my attention. I instantly pictured this print and I couldn’t wait to paint it. As I painted, I began to meditate on the meaning of the passage …
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people – the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven. Colossians 1:3-5 (italics and bold mine)
I have always pictured hope springing from love – and I believe it does – but I hadn’t yet considered that it could work the other way around. When I feel loved, it is easy for me to have hope. Love helps me to see things from a positive point of view and hope seems to flourish in those places – but that kind of hope is delicate.
The hope that Paul is describing here is a “confident expectation” according to my Bible’s study notes. It is a hope we can count on – an expectation that will not ever be met with disappointment!
Free to Love
When we begin to understand the hope we have in Christ – unconditional love and acceptance, eternal life, spiritual blessings – we find freedom to love. The normal expectations we have for relationships include having our needs met and receiving love in return. When we experience the perfect love and security of relationship with God, we are free to give away our love without those same expectations since our needs are met in Him.
A Wellspringof Love
Proverbs 4:23 tells us to “guard your heart” and many of us use that warning to withhold love from others in an effort to protect ourselves. But if we examine the rest of the verse in conjunction with what we read in Colossians 1, we will understand that God offers us all the protection we need and still enables us to pour out love to those who may seem unloveable.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 (italics and bold mine)
The source of a wellspring is not that from which it is drawn. The water that flows out comes from deep within the earth and it never dries up. The one who takes from the spring does not give in return but is simply blessed by the refreshment.
When we are fed by the deep and abiding hope that we receive from our confidence in Jesus, love can flow out of us and bless others without expectation.
From Hope Springs Love
Oh that the blooms of love might spring up in me from the deep, abiding hope I have found in Jesus. May others see in me the freedom I have to give love because my savior loves me. When I feel parched and dry, needy and weary, may I remind myself to draw from the wellspring of His living water. May the refreshment I find there bubble over and refresh everyone I meet.
Amen
The print featured above is available along with all of Wendy’s Prints, Cards, Journals, and Stickers at www.cornercopiafarmandstudio.com or by clicking on the shop on our home page.
