Photo Credit Sherri Cox
I was sitting by the lake with a group of friends on a camping trip. As more people, arrived they arranged their chairs in a circle so we could all see each other easily. It worked for a while – until the afternoon sun began to move the shade and people moved with it. Eventually, the grouping no longer resembled a circle, but our lakeside gathering didn’t end because of the shifting shadows. Instead, as some people moved, others slid in or started up a conversation in a different direction. When the person next to me scooted up, I had the choice to move with them or to engage with someone else. As evening came and everyone drifted away, I was delighted to have had the chance to connect with many different people – it felt like community.
The experience reminded me that our relationship circles of are also ever-changing. People move in and out of our lives depending on geography, interests, life stages, and even the temperature of the relationship. Truthfully, my “circle” rarely resembles a circle. Life is frequently changing and my relationships change too. Because community is fluid, it doesn’t always come easy – we often have to take step to grow and maintain a circle of relationships. And even when we feel like we are a part of something, we need to be ready when changes happen – we can choose to move with the change or engage with someone new.
When I find myself in times of loneliness and missing community, two action steps help me find my place in the circle again”
1. Reach Up!
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!Psalm 71:5-7
No matter how lonely we might feel, we are never alone! God has promised to be with us, to hold us close, and to never abandon us. We need only to reach up to Him to remember that He is there. God gives us everything we need – love, hope, security – and when we allow Him to fill us by spending time in His presence in prayer and studying His word, we will have all we need to reach out to others. We can adjust to the changes in our circle because our God never changes!
2. Reach Out!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
When I was a child, I was the one who frequently moved. My family was military and I attended several different schools. I can distinctly remember looking around after relocating in 2nd grade and intentionally considering how I would make friends. Even at that young age I was aware that making friends and building community required action on my part. That youthful revelation has served me well throughout my life. I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement. We have all heard it said, “To make a friend you must be a friend.” The truth that lies beneath these words is found in the verse above; “look to the interest of others.
“I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.”
Spend some time thinking about how your circle has changed. What friendships need maintenance? Be intentional about reaching out to encourage those friends. Where are there holes in your community? Look around to consider how you might create new friendships through encouragement. Give encouragement out of the abundance of encouragement you have received from God. As you encourage others, you will be amazed at how God will bless you!
“Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”
Proverbs 11:25