I remember the early days of separation and divorce. Suddenly finding myself a single mom with small children was frightening and I longed for someone who had gone ahead of me – a Christian woman who could tell me what I might expect, listen with an understanding ear, and offer wise advise based on her own experience. While I had a wonderful network of family and friends who offered their love and support, that experienced woman never emerged. There may have been qualified women who could have mentored me, but they never stepped forward to share their stories.
I have found myself in other difficult situations – blending a family and becoming a step-mom, mothering a recovering addict, starting my own business – I could go on and on. Each time, I have longed for a godly woman to share her experiences with me – and sometimes they have. But knowing the loneliness and fear that goes along with difficult journeys, I have made it my mission to share my own experiences so I can walk along with others on similar paths and to equip others to do the same! Here are 5 ways that we can encourage others with our experience:
Reach out to others experiencing a similar difficulty.
Each of us has gone through difficulties. Whether your story includes financial struggle, depression, illness, wayward children, or death of a loved one – your experience is valuable to someone else. Even if the details are not the same, your struggle and survival – along with the testimony of how God brought you though – could be a lifeline to another woman. Experience has taught me that I am quickly able to identify the signs of a woman going through something similar to my previous difficulty. Be alert and compassionate. Offer to share your story. Be willing to pray for others and quick to share how God strengthened and restored you in the midst of your trial.
(note: recovery from trauma takes time – keep proper boundaries for your own health – recognize your limits – keep a healthy support system for yourself at all times)
Reach out to others with similar interests.
Encouragement is not always about something painful. It can be just as powerful to encourage a positive thing in others. One of my favorite ways to encourage others is with their interest in art. I love to offer my appreciation and expertise to people that are sharing their creations. Teaching, sharing tips, answering questions, and affirming are all ways that I can share my experience as an artist to encourage others that love art. Make a point to notice others with similar interests to you and intentionally encourage them in those interests.
Reach out to younger people.
I love mentoring young women – but I didn’t always feel so confident in this. When I was younger I felt inexperienced, when I got older I felt – well, old! But when I have been obedient to step out and invite younger women into relationship the blessings have been amazing. I learn so much from them and it turns out they don’t think I am so old after all. The book, “Becoming a Woman of Influence” by Carol Kent strongly impacted my view of mentoring, and I have used it several times in a small group setting with younger women. Mentoring does not have to be a formal experience – simply take notice of younger women or girls and begin to speak truth and encouragement into their lives.
Reach out to others with less experience.
Mentoring relationships do not have to be based on age. Offer your experience to someone who simply has less experience than you. You will be amazed at how much you will learn from them as you mutually encourage one another. One of my favorite recent examples was when my friend, Kellie, who is a house painter offered her knowledge, tools, and connections to get us started on renovating our rental house. It was reassuring to know we had what we needed to get the job done – and Kellie was only a phone call away when we needed her advise!
Reach out to others that need your skills.
Sometimes the best encouragement is to offer your service. Someone may not have the interest or time to learn your skill but would greatly benefit from you offering to do something for them. We have many friends with amazing skills – and that comes in handy when we are are in need. I am so thankful for friends like that – especially when we can offer our skills in return when they are in a bind! Think about what you have to offer and how you might be able to use your experience to encourage someone this week.
The encouragement of experience offers requires stepping out of our comfort zones, but in the end, whenever we reach out to others – we are reaching the heart of God.
“The king will reply, ‘Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'”
Matthew 25:40