On the first day of the year, I was determined to clean out the deepest, darkest place in our home – our bedroom closet – or so I thought. It turned out that God would show us that we had deeper and darker places that needed our attention. Isn’t it just like God to use those revelations to teach us to draw closer to Him?
I started out the day with a warm shower and a hopeful motivation. I was feeling inspired to get rid of the clutter in our overstuffed closet and the driving force was the desire to find my missing slipper. I coaxed Jerry into joining me in the project and we managed to remove 4 trash bags of clothes and shoes that were headed for donation, as well as another bag that landed in the garbage. We swept away the dust that had been hiding under that clutter and found more than just the missing slipper. We felt accomplished and Jerry headed off to the shower, returning shortly to question me about why there was no water pressure.
The day quickly turned from a hopeful motivation to a desperate searching. Jerry became tense and sullen. He tested the electrical connection and found that, though power was flowing to the wire, the well pump was not working. We stood at the top of the well and looked into the hole wondering, what are we getting ourselves into? Jerry searched the Internet for answers, phoned a friend or two, and we rode silently to the home improvement store to purchase a new well pump – a big expense that wasn’t in our post-holiday budget. As we arrived at the store I asked my normally confident husband, “Are you okay?”
He surprised me with a short, “No.”
While Jerry was perusing the well pumps and scouting for the necessary tools, I wandered around the appliance section and gave him some thinking space. I sensed that this project was leaving him stumped and concerned about the expense of calling a professional. I knew he was feeling helpless and I was completely powerless to assist. “Lord,” I prayed, “Please give Jerry wisdom – and some help.”
I meandered back to the plumbing department but my husband was no longer there. I tried calling him but he didn’t answer. Finally, I located him and he was talking to someone on the phone. “We may not need to buy a well pump,” Jerry explained, “Dwayne is coming over to help.”
On the way home, I discovered that Jerry had suddenly thought to call our contractor friend to ask his opinion. It “just so happened” that Dwayne and his wife had experience with well pumps and they had the tools to do the job! When they arrived, It took 5 of us to pull the well pump 350 feet out of the hole! The guys were able to find a severed wire that had caused our pump to stop working. They patched the wire, secured it to reduce the possibility of that happening again, lowered our well pump into the ground, and we had water!
Later that evening, I asked Jerry, “What was going through your head when you said you were not okay?”
“I didn’t know how to fix the problem,” he confessed.
I often brag about my husband that he can fix anything. The truth is – while he is very good at repairing many things – he can’t fix everything. My faithful man had forgotten for a brief moment that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness, and his lesson taught me just as much. When we rely on ourselves for knowledge and wisdom we will come to the end of ourselves. But when we rely on God, the author of wisdom, we will never reach the end.
Jerry and I thought that clearing clutter and dissipating dust would bring light to our deepest, darkest places, and while those were good aspirations, they merely scratched the surface. God desires to do more in our lives than clearing the clutter. He wants to reach into the depths of our hearts and pull out the frayed cords that are shorting out the lifeblood of our souls. Whatever it is that is holding you back from a complete trust in God – fear, pain, unforgiveness, bitterness – God wants to pull it up, bring it into the light, and mend it. He longs to be source of everything you need – your strength, your wisdom, your savior.
Oh, the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgements, and His paths beyond tracing out. Who has known the mindset of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has ever given to God that God should repay him? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.
Romans 11:33-36