by wendy | Oct 1, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer
When I am seeking direction, it’s a pretty good bet that I am traveling in uncharted territory. The older I get, the more I realize that there is so much I just don’t know. In conversation the other day, I confessed that one of the strategies I have used throughout life is to surround myself with people that are smarter than me, wiser than me, and more experienced than me. These are the people that help to guide my decisions and my direction.
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 12:15
It’s so important that I choose my counsel wisely – and that I understand what type of counsel I am seeking. I recently had a big business decision to make and I chose several different people to help me think through the process.
1.Choose godly advisors.
Regardless of the type of direction I am seeking (personal, relational, business, education, etc.), it is always important to seek counsel from the godly people in my life. Pastors, friends, mentors – all of these can help me think through the spiritual aspects of these decisions and also help to remind me of God’s perspective.
2. Choose experienced advisors.
It is amazing when I have godly advisors that are also experienced in the area I need guidance, but often God provides people that are not believers to help me in other ways. When I seek wisdom from an unbeliever, I am careful to always filter that advice through God’s word while I glean the knowledge they might have in a certain area.
3. Choose personal advisors.
Godly wisdom is of paramount importance and knowledgable experience is invaluable, but it is also important to ask for guidance from the ones that know me best! My family and close friends are always a part of my decision-making as I seek direction because they can usually identify patterns and pitfalls more quickly than I can. My people are also likely to be able to see through my impulsivity and changing emotions.
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 15:22
Ultimately, there is no substitute for the wisdom of God and the guidance and counsel of the Holy Spirit. I pray first, seek guidance from human advisors second, and pray and listen to the spirit again and continually. Most of the time, I have more questions than answers, but the peace that comes from knowing that God is with me helps me to navigate the journey each step of the way!
“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Proverbs 19:20-21
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
James 3:17
by wendy | Sep 22, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Prayer, Trusting God
Falls Park Greenville, South Carolina
In last week’s post, “Encouragement for Seeking Direction,” step one was to Pray – and I noted that asking for God’s wisdom should always be the first step! Let’s unpack that a little more:
“Devote yourself to prayer, being watchful and alert.”
Colossians 4:2
I have been praying for direction for quite some time – for my art business, for my writing, for our life in the next stage, for specific decisions – and I find that God uses many things to guide me. Most recently, He has spoken to me through Sunday’s sermon (working for the right reward Colossians 3:23-24), a sincere social media post by a fellow author (Christine Hoover), and conversations with old and new friends throughout the week.
I truly believe in God’s guiding hand – that He places us in the right position (time and place) to understand what He wants for us – if only we are willing to hear and see. All of the pieces of my ordinary days – the interactions and the interruptions – seem disconnected until I place them in the context of my prayers.
“What do you want me to do Lord?
Where do you want me to go?
What is the purpose of my life right now?”
When I am looking – searching – studying – I find that He is showing me.
I travelled with Jerry this week as he worked, and though I normally stay in the hotel room to study and write, I found myself venturing out into the city we were visiting. I was pleasantly surprised to find a river wandering through the downtown area with a beautiful park built around a waterfall. I was struck by the juxtaposition of the natural scenery and the city built around it. It was entirely possible to focus on the peace of the falling water and hear the cling, clang, hustle, bustle of construction and city life all at the same time. And suddenly, as I sat enjoying my new surroundings, the picture before me became clear:
Everything was built around God’s creation and purpose – not the other way around!
When seeking my direction, I need to see what God is already doing – in my life and all around me. My business, my hobbies, my family, my entertainment, my ministry, my life – should all be built around God’s purpose, and I need to be alert to the direction God is heading.
This is part of being watchful and alert in prayer.
First I pray for direction,
Then I watch, listen, study, seek, looking for signs that point me to the direction of God,
Then I follow!
Prayer is an active process – talking, listening, waiting, receiving, moving – a playlist on repeat! It involves praise, confession, pleading, pouring out, taking in, thanksgiving and more! Prayer is a constant conversation, an ongoing relationship, an unbroken bond between the Father and me as I reach up for the hand that is always extended and ready.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Yes, asking for God’s wisdom should always be the first step. But may I never forget that asking is only a part of the process. I need to stay in the mode of praying – watchful and alert – as He responds with wisdom to light the path, one step at a time.
“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”
Psalm 119:105
by wendy | Sep 18, 2020 | Encouragement For Your Heart, Uncategorized
Jerry and I have recently enjoyed following the culture of “Bus life” – a nomadic group of people that live and work on the road, moving throughout the country. Even those who are seasoned travelers are finding this particular year to be challenging. Many of those we watch are currently exploring the Pacific Northwest and the current wildfires are just the latest of circumstances that are changing the course they planned.
“It seems re-routing is what buslife is all about this year.”
– NumberJuanBus, Instagram
Life is full of twists and turns and the need to make constant decisions. Re-routing is often necessary even when we are not on the road. Many of life’s decisions can be made without huge consequences, while others can change the course of our lives. How then can we even know where to begin?
“Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before.“
-CS Lewis, Mere Christianity
Scripture gives us lots of directions about how to seek direction. Here are some suggestions when you find yourself re-routing and unsure of where to begin:
1. Pray
– asking for God’s wisdom should always be the first step!
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:5
2. Seek wise council
– talking with others who have knowledge and experience can help us discern the right way.
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 15:22
3. Plan
– take time to think through the wisdom and advice and create a strategy.
“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?“
Luke 14:28
4. Move toward the goal
– a plan is of no use without putting it into action!
“Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it.“
Ezra 10:4
5. Let go!
– trust God with all of it.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday Sun.”
Psalm 37:4-6
6. Allow God to guide
– seek His direction constantly and be alert for His guidance.
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!“
1 Chronicles 16:11
7. Adjust as directed
– be willing to shift and pivot as the Holy Spirit moves you.
“The LORD says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.’”
Psalm 32:8
8. Be thankful in all things
– even when it doesn’t go according to plan – believe that God has the best for you.
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.“
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Read this well-known verse today and strive to apply it to any decisions you must make.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
by wendy | Sep 11, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
We have all experienced difficult relationships, wounds from a friend, and conflict, so when we become the listening ear for someone else in a relationship crisis we can certainly identify. Here are some tips for how to be an encourager in those times:
Patiently Listen!
Allow your friend to express their frustrations freely. Validate their feelings without justifying retribution.
Encourage the Pause!
After listening, encourage your friend to take some time before making decisions or responding. It is always better to wait until the emotions are settled.
Pray!
Pray with and for your friend. Ask God to bring peace to their heart and peace between parties.
Point to the Word!
Share some Scriptures that are important to you, but also encourage your friend to search for God’s wisdom for themselves.
“When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.”
Proverbs 16:7
by wendy | Sep 9, 2020 | Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
Just this week I received a phone call from someone close to me. She was upset over the words and actions from another friend and wanted to talk it through. As I listened, I affirmed her feelings – I would have been upset as well – but I was careful not to justify any retribution. My suggestions for how to handle the situation were difficult – seething and reacting are easier – but I tried to point her back to a godly way of handling the situation and the relationship.
It was not a coincidence that our Pastor’s sermon Sunday was on the topic of submission within marriage from Ephesians 5. While my friend’s situation had nothing to do with marriage, I was reminded of a point Pastor Jason made emphatically within his talk, “According to Ephesians 5: 21, we are called to submit to all believers!”
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Ephesians 5:21
The Greek word for submit in this passage is “hupotassó” and it means to yield – a word that has a much more positive connotation in today’s society. Yielding always makes me think of traffic and a specific memory comes to mind. Read this excerpt from my Bible Study, “Godly Relationships.”
While traveling on the interstate down to Fort Bragg to visit our soldier-in-training, an RV attempted to change lanes in front of us. A compact car happened to be in his blind spot and we watched helplessly as the large vehicle veered over. Thankfully, the little car had room to move close to the guard rail and scoot out of the way quickly while the RV jerked back into place. An accident was narrowly avoided and my husband, Jerry, used it as a teaching moment for our soon-to-be-released driver in the back seat. “Do you know what you should do in that situation Trevor?” Our son shook his head. “You give the other vehicle as much room as possible!” Jerry wisely instructed.
In Relationships – just like on the highway – people will often pull recklessly into our lane and cut us off. While we may have the right-of-way, we have two choices – give them some space or suffer a dangerous collision.
– Wendy Custer, Godly Relationships
My friend had suffered something similar – she was “cut off” by someone she trusted. She had two choices: 1. She could plow through them claiming the right-of-way, or 2. She could yield to their reckless behavior and avoid a collision. In the first reaction, both parties would likely be harmed, but in the second, a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation would be more possible. The first choice leaves little room for future relationship, while the second requires sacrifice. Hard stuff – but valuable.
Ephesians 5 divulges several keys to this kind of yielded living:
Wisdom is the ability to use the knowledge that one has. This implies thinking through words and actions and choosing them carefully. A wise person considers all angles before acting and understands the impact on every party.
Look for opportunity. (Ephesians 5:16)
While Ephesians 5:15 is written about relationship between believers, Colossians 4:5 is identical except that it speaks of opportunity with unbelievers. Truthfully, we should see every interaction with everyone as an opportunity to live out our calling to be like Jesus. Pause and ask yourself, “What opportunity do I have in this situation?”
Understand the Lord’s will. (Ephesians 5:17)
The only way to understand God’s will is to study His Word. As we read and learn from Scripture, we can know how God desires for us to handle our relationships. His will is clearly written in every book of the Bible, but this article lists some very clear verses to focus on.
“Bible Verses about God’s Will”
Some key elements include: God’s desire for all to be saved, His desire for us to prosper, the command for us to be set apart, the reminder that He equips us for doing good, and Jesus’s direction to deny ourselves.
Be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)
Thankfully, we are never asked to do any of this in our own power. The Spirit empowers and equips us to live and love in the power of God. Paul’s suggestion here is to be continually filled with the Spirit which requires going to God on a daily basis and submitting to His ways.
Be thankful. (Ephesians 5:20)
This is perhaps the most difficult of the list. Training our heart to be thankful in the midst of difficult circumstances and relationships is so hard because it requires us to think of something other than how we feel. The practice of being thankful is perhaps the single most life-changing thing we can train ourselves to do. When I am able to flip my perspective from my suffering to my blessings, understanding God’s protection and provision in my life, I can easily yield to another person.
Yield to one another. (Ephesians 5:21)
You know the saying, “Just do it.” Well – just do it. Yield. But be sure you do it with all of the other keys in place. Be wise, look for opportunity, understand the Lord’s will, be filled with the Spirit, be thankful, AND THEN yield.
You may very well be like that little car – a bit out of breath, startled, shaken, cautious, frustrated, and fully intact and able to drive ahead. These are not easy principles, but they are life-saving and life-giving.
“Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:17-18
