by wendy | Nov 3, 2020 | By Chance, Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Trusting God
As you may remember from an earlier post, My son, Carter, recently adopted a dog he named Chance. Carter was told the pup was rescued from a hurricane in Texas and he does demonstrate some qualities of having experienced trauma. But every week that goes by testifies to the power of love, as Chance becomes healthier, more trusting, and certainly more playful. Aside from his sometimes timid temperament, Chance also behaves very much like a puppy – and Carter is learning some parenting skills along the way!
Our family gathered last weekend to celebrate my mom’s birthday, and Carter brought Chance along. Our sweet old dog, Sam, who is grieving the loss of Rover, was delighted to have company and Chance was very well behaved – for the most part. After he had warmed up to his environment, Carter let his puppy play off-leash. My other son had brought a dog as well and the three were keeping each other entertained.
After a while though – once Chance had tested his boundaries a bit – he began to wander further and further. He discovered wonderful sights and smells – including a pile of dog poop, which he immediately decided he would like to wear – so he rolled in it! It must have delighted him because he seemed proud of his new attire. It was on his back, on his tummy, even on his head and collar! Yuck!
Carter quickly put Chance’s leash back on and led him over to the hose to wash him off. I was impressed with the way my son talked to his dog – firmly but lovingly – as he reassured him that even though he didn’t like the bath, it would be okay. He tenderly dried him as best he could with some old towels and then brought him back into the circle where he could be loved on. I am sure that Chance received the washing as discipline, even though it was what was best for him – and everyone else who could smell him.
I smiled at the picture God was showing me as my son took care of his puppy. We so often choose to be just like Chance – intentionally indulging in sinful behavior because it seems good to us at the time. I love the way our Father draws us back in and gently washes us clean – because of His great love for us! And then – also a demonstration of His love – He keeps us close to Him for a while knowing our penchant for repeating behavior over and over again. He is so good!
Hebrews 12:4-11 reminds us of this truth:
God disciplines the one He loves.
Love is an interesting word in our modern society. So many people choose to believe that love is letting someone do whatever seems good to them. But God demonstrates true love for us. I have heard it said that God loves us just the way we are, but also loves us too much to let us stay that way! I am so thankful for that in my own life, and I love seeing it play out as my son loves his dog. If Carter were to let Chance do whatever he wanted, he simply would not survive (another story another time!) It’s true of us as well – God demonstrates His love for us by moving us away from our harmful behavior.
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
Hebrews 12:5-6
God disciplines His true sons and daughters.
Chance didn’t start out knowing Carter – he was owned by several other people first – so it has taken some time to know that he is truly at home now. It is a joy to watch Carter take responsibility for his dog and to see Chance respond to that. Each day that Carter cares for his pup – and disciplines him – proves to Chance that he is truly loved and accepted. When we can understand and experience the precious love of God – even when it comes in the form of hardship and discipline – we too will find our home in him.
“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.”
Hebrews 12:7-8
God disciplines us for our good.
While rolling in dog poop might not have been the worst thing Chance could have done the other day, he is learning discipline for his good. Carter is teaching him to stay out of the road (protection), to come for his food and to eat healthy things (provision), and to stay by his side (submission). Each new thing Chance learns brings him closer to his master and friend and helps him to learn the ultimate lesson – how to accept his master’s love. We too are disciplined for our good, and though it is often hard to accept and understand, when we do it brings us close to our Father.
“We have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.”
Hebrews 12:9-10
God disciplines us so we can experience the best life.
Poor little Chance didn’t know it, but Carter gave him a bath so he could participate in the best things to come – spending time with his master and all the other people that love him. Our sin – just like the stinky stuff Chance rolled in – keeps us away from God and our brothers and sisters. When God washes us clean and brings us back close to him, we too have a “chance” to experience the best! Righteousness and peace are the best things in life because they allow us to stay in the presence of our Father and his people.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:11
I could have never known what wonderful things would come into our lives by Chance! I look forward to the next lesson God has for us as He shows us a picture of His love through a little dog who has finally found his way home.
by wendy | Oct 24, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
“Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.”
Ezra 10:4
1. Listen to their dreams.
I am a dreamer and a verbal processor. I am so grateful for my family and friends who have listened to my dreams throughout the years. I often need to express my dreams out loud and “try them on” in order to discern which I should actually follow up on. It can be scary to voice out loud the ideas that formulate in a creative brain, so be kind when you listen to a dreamer. Even if their plans seem outlandish and scary to you, understand that dreams are the stuff that fuel new inventions, successful businesses, and amazing ministries. When a dreamer shares a vision with you, they are trusting you with treasure from their very soul.
2. Pray with them and for them.
God gives us dreams and He gives us the ability to work out of those dreams. Prayer is important – for patience to wait for His timing, for strength to carry through, and for wisdom to know the right way. When you pray for a dreamer and their dreams, you are praying for God to intervene and bring His power, His wisdom, and His resources. When you pray with a dreamer, you implant courage and hope alongside their dream.
3. Be patient while they develop their dreams.
Dreams often take years to develop. They seem exciting and sudden in the beginning, but enthusiasm can die when the long process of working out the details and waiting for the right time dull that excitement. Ask about the dream periodically. Remind the dreamer you are still praying for them. Point out the ways you see God at work. As an encourager, you have the job of giving courage, hope, and inspiration when the tired dreamer is struggling.
4. Allow grace as they discern God’s direction.
Dreams are winding, foggy, uphill journey with many twists and turns. They rarely play out exactly as they seemed in the beginning. But with God’s direction, dreams develop into something bigger and better than the dreamer could have ever imagined! Encourage the dreamer to follow God’s leading even when it may seem to go off the path. Continue to lift them and their dream to God and allow grace to the dreamer and the dream when it is difficult to see the result. Encourage them to trust God and watch together to see where He is taking the dream.
5. Be supportive as they work out their dream.
Even as you pray and listen, there are also some practical ways you can support the dreamer:
- give financially to the dream
- prepare meals or help with the family while they work toward the dream
- brainstorm with the dreamer
- point to resources that might be helpful
- connect the dreamer with others that have a similar dream
- roll up your sleeves and work alongside
- share the dream with others (when it is appropriate)
by wendy | Oct 20, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Trusting God
In my original post about direction I said, “a plan is of no use without putting it into action!” How true! I am a dreamer – I often think about new directions, occasionally I even plan for a new direction, but it is rare that I put a plan into action. To be fair, not all plans should be followed, but when you have prayed, sought wise counsel, and planned, the next right step is to rise up and do it!
“Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it.“
Ezra 10:4
The Bible often uses the term rise up and I found many phrases in the concordance to help me dissect the command. Let’s examine a few!
1. to start, to make a move
I have often heard the illustration of steering a car as an example of why it is important to move for God to direct us. Have you ever tried to steer a car when it is in park? The wheels experience much more fiction when they are still, but as they roll the steering wheel is easily maneuvered. Nothing is impossible for God – He can certainly direct us while we are stationary – but He often waits for our obedience to rise up and He works with us in motion instead of against the friction of our resistance.
“Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a house as the sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.”
1 Chronicle 28:10
2. to become powerful
Oh how we can experience the fullness of God’s power when we step into our calling! We may be hyper-aware of our own limitations and weakness as we walk through the planning process, but once we rise up to begin, we will get the amazing blessing of seeing God go to work through us!
“to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
Ephesians 3:19-20
3. to carry out or fulfill
The still small voice within us that will not be quiet – the calling – the vision – that is our marching orders. We are given a mission and it is up to us to carry that mission out. When we put a plan into action, we are fulfilling the good work God has appointed us to do!
Then Deborah said to Barak, “Go! This is the day the LORD has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the LORD gone ahead of you?”
Judges 4:14
As you prepare to rise up, I pray that you will know that God equips those He calls!
“Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
Hebrews 13:20-21
And even more encouragement as you rise up!
“Act with courage, and may the LORD be with those who do well.”
2 Chronicles 19:11
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness.”
Isaiah 41:10
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:10
by wendy | Oct 12, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Prayer, Trusting God
It may seem odd to plan as you seek direction. After all, the Scripture tell us:
“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”
Proverbs 19:21 NLT
This passage can lead us to believe that we should not make plans – but that is not the meaning here. In fact, God tells us over and over in the Word that it is wise for us to plan. It is when we consider our plans above Him and disregard His guidance that we find ourselves lost and confused. Let’s unpack that a little.
“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.”
James 4:13-16
Is James saying that planning where to go, where to live, and how to make money is evil? No – it is the boasting that is evil. When we are arrogant enough to assume that our plans are foolproof and without fail then we are considering ourselves above God. What then, does James recommend?
We must always understand that God’s will trumps all of our plans. Just as Proverbs 19:21 says, “God’s purpose will prevail.”
So why bother making plans if we are not certain of God’s purpose and will?
1.Making plans helps us to discern God’s will.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Romans 12:1
As we plan – and transform our minds by reading the Word, praying, seeking guidance – we will be able to test what His will is. We move forward with intention while remaining submissive to His guidance.
2. Making plans helps us to flesh out our own motives.
“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways.”
Proverbs 14:8
“All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.”
Proverbs 16:2
As I plan, it becomes more obvious what my motives are and gives me an opportunity to adjust my heart.
3. Making plans helps us to move in the direction of our calling.
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Isaiah 30:21
In an interview with Jordan Raynor about the Biography of Fred Rogers, “The Good Neighbor, The Life and Works of Fred Rogers”, Maxwell King explains the result of following the winding path of dreams and plans.
“I think he was a remarkably focused guy who was relentless in driving toward goals and objectives. He’s the one who kept narrowing the funnel and creating the focus and heading toward Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. I think he made it happen through his very determined, intentional way of living.”
-Maxwell King, Jordan Raynor Podcast
Fred Rogers called this a “guided drift” and I love the picture that phrase creates for me. The thought of just drifting through life is somewhat hopeless, but the thought that I am being guided as I drift – well that is actually exciting! It suddenly removes the burden of thinking that I am entirely responsible to know my every step. In this line of thinking, I am free to move toward a goal with the assurance that God will move me as needed to hit the actual target! But it also reminds me that I need to be moving in the first place.
“Rogers had a term he loved to use when referring to discerning one’s calling. He called it “guided drift.” The idea was that, while it is good and wise to make plans, “one needed to live a life that was open to change,” led by the Holy Spirit.”
The Call to Create, Bible.com
As we plan – and set that plan into action – God helps us to “narrow the funnel” as King says above.
4. Making plans helps us to discover our gifts – and our weaknesses.
“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?“
Luke 14:28
I am a dreamer and a visionary – and I believe God created me that way – but I also know that I need to step out of the dream and into the reality of a plan if I am ever to accomplish anything. I know that God will equip me to do whatever He calls me to do and sometimes the planning process helps me to recognize where my strengths and weakness lie and where I need to depend upon Him the most!
5. Making plans helps us rely on God’s power and provision.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.”
Proverbs 16:3
The more I make plans the more I understand my own lack of power. God often asks us to do things beyond ourselves and that helps us to realize the need for His power and resources. As I begin to plan, I must ask God to guide and direct me and also to provide and act in order for the plan to be successful. Sometimes He will guide me toward a different plan and sometimes He will guide me toward the resources to accomplish the plan.
As you seek direction, first pray (continually); second seek wise counsel; and then make an intentional plan. One of my favorite parts of this grand adventure is to watch what amazing things God does with my meager plans – I pray that will become a joy for you as well!
by wendy | Oct 7, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Prayer
Against my advisement, our oldest son adopted a dog yesterday. It wasn’t that he isn’t old enough or responsible enough to own a dog. It wasn’t even that I thought he wouldn’t make a good dog owner. I just felt that owning a dog at this point in his life would make things more complicated.
He did it anyway.
The dog he adopted came from one of the hurricane sights. He lived with a foster family before Carter got him, and he had only met Carter a couple of times. He was shy and skittish – no wonder with all he had been through – but Carter felt a connection with him and was really looking forward to getting him home.
The pup (a one year-old mixed breed) sat on my son’s lap the whole way home, but as soon as Carter opened the car door, he bolted. Hours later with many of us to help, the dog continued to hide in the woods across a busy highway, only darting out occasionally. As darkness fell we all felt hopeless – and Carter was devastated.
I prayed that God would keep the little guy safe through the night – safe from predators and safe from cars on the road. I prayed that God would bring him home. I prayed for my son’s heart.
Three of us (Carter’s girlfriend, my cousin, and myself) had dreams that he came home. When Carter called first thing in the morning, I was both hopeful and anxious to hear what he had to report.
“Mom, he came home!”
“I dreamed he did!”
“So did Livi! And he did. I left my car door open all night and he slept in the car. He was there when I came out this morning.”
And once again, I am overwhelmed by the kindness of my God. He cares about the things we care about and He loves to show us His love. He gave us dreams of goodness and peace to reassure our hearts and he brought that little dog home for Carter to love and care for.
Will this little creature make my son’s life more complicated? Yes, he already has. But he will also enrich his life and teach him about love on a different level. Perhaps Carter will even learn more about the amazing love his Heavenly Father has for him.
And Carter had already decided to name his dog Chance…
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23
by wendy | Oct 1, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer
When I am seeking direction, it’s a pretty good bet that I am traveling in uncharted territory. The older I get, the more I realize that there is so much I just don’t know. In conversation the other day, I confessed that one of the strategies I have used throughout life is to surround myself with people that are smarter than me, wiser than me, and more experienced than me. These are the people that help to guide my decisions and my direction.
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
Proverbs 12:15
It’s so important that I choose my counsel wisely – and that I understand what type of counsel I am seeking. I recently had a big business decision to make and I chose several different people to help me think through the process.
1.Choose godly advisors.
Regardless of the type of direction I am seeking (personal, relational, business, education, etc.), it is always important to seek counsel from the godly people in my life. Pastors, friends, mentors – all of these can help me think through the spiritual aspects of these decisions and also help to remind me of God’s perspective.
2. Choose experienced advisors.
It is amazing when I have godly advisors that are also experienced in the area I need guidance, but often God provides people that are not believers to help me in other ways. When I seek wisdom from an unbeliever, I am careful to always filter that advice through God’s word while I glean the knowledge they might have in a certain area.
3. Choose personal advisors.
Godly wisdom is of paramount importance and knowledgable experience is invaluable, but it is also important to ask for guidance from the ones that know me best! My family and close friends are always a part of my decision-making as I seek direction because they can usually identify patterns and pitfalls more quickly than I can. My people are also likely to be able to see through my impulsivity and changing emotions.
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 15:22
Ultimately, there is no substitute for the wisdom of God and the guidance and counsel of the Holy Spirit. I pray first, seek guidance from human advisors second, and pray and listen to the spirit again and continually. Most of the time, I have more questions than answers, but the peace that comes from knowing that God is with me helps me to navigate the journey each step of the way!
“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Proverbs 19:20-21
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
James 3:17
by wendy | Sep 22, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Prayer, Trusting God
Falls Park Greenville, South Carolina
In last week’s post, “Encouragement for Seeking Direction,” step one was to Pray – and I noted that asking for God’s wisdom should always be the first step! Let’s unpack that a little more:
“Devote yourself to prayer, being watchful and alert.”
Colossians 4:2
I have been praying for direction for quite some time – for my art business, for my writing, for our life in the next stage, for specific decisions – and I find that God uses many things to guide me. Most recently, He has spoken to me through Sunday’s sermon (working for the right reward Colossians 3:23-24), a sincere social media post by a fellow author (Christine Hoover), and conversations with old and new friends throughout the week.
I truly believe in God’s guiding hand – that He places us in the right position (time and place) to understand what He wants for us – if only we are willing to hear and see. All of the pieces of my ordinary days – the interactions and the interruptions – seem disconnected until I place them in the context of my prayers.
“What do you want me to do Lord?
Where do you want me to go?
What is the purpose of my life right now?”
When I am looking – searching – studying – I find that He is showing me.
I travelled with Jerry this week as he worked, and though I normally stay in the hotel room to study and write, I found myself venturing out into the city we were visiting. I was pleasantly surprised to find a river wandering through the downtown area with a beautiful park built around a waterfall. I was struck by the juxtaposition of the natural scenery and the city built around it. It was entirely possible to focus on the peace of the falling water and hear the cling, clang, hustle, bustle of construction and city life all at the same time. And suddenly, as I sat enjoying my new surroundings, the picture before me became clear:
Everything was built around God’s creation and purpose – not the other way around!
When seeking my direction, I need to see what God is already doing – in my life and all around me. My business, my hobbies, my family, my entertainment, my ministry, my life – should all be built around God’s purpose, and I need to be alert to the direction God is heading.
This is part of being watchful and alert in prayer.
First I pray for direction,
Then I watch, listen, study, seek, looking for signs that point me to the direction of God,
Then I follow!
Prayer is an active process – talking, listening, waiting, receiving, moving – a playlist on repeat! It involves praise, confession, pleading, pouring out, taking in, thanksgiving and more! Prayer is a constant conversation, an ongoing relationship, an unbroken bond between the Father and me as I reach up for the hand that is always extended and ready.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Yes, asking for God’s wisdom should always be the first step. But may I never forget that asking is only a part of the process. I need to stay in the mode of praying – watchful and alert – as He responds with wisdom to light the path, one step at a time.
“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”
Psalm 119:105
by wendy | Sep 18, 2020 | Encouragement For Your Heart, Uncategorized
Jerry and I have recently enjoyed following the culture of “Bus life” – a nomadic group of people that live and work on the road, moving throughout the country. Even those who are seasoned travelers are finding this particular year to be challenging. Many of those we watch are currently exploring the Pacific Northwest and the current wildfires are just the latest of circumstances that are changing the course they planned.
“It seems re-routing is what buslife is all about this year.”
– NumberJuanBus, Instagram
Life is full of twists and turns and the need to make constant decisions. Re-routing is often necessary even when we are not on the road. Many of life’s decisions can be made without huge consequences, while others can change the course of our lives. How then can we even know where to begin?
“Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before.“
-CS Lewis, Mere Christianity
Scripture gives us lots of directions about how to seek direction. Here are some suggestions when you find yourself re-routing and unsure of where to begin:
1. Pray
– asking for God’s wisdom should always be the first step!
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:5
2. Seek wise council
– talking with others who have knowledge and experience can help us discern the right way.
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 15:22
3. Plan
– take time to think through the wisdom and advice and create a strategy.
“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?“
Luke 14:28
4. Move toward the goal
– a plan is of no use without putting it into action!
“Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it.“
Ezra 10:4
5. Let go!
– trust God with all of it.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday Sun.”
Psalm 37:4-6
6. Allow God to guide
– seek His direction constantly and be alert for His guidance.
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!“
1 Chronicles 16:11
7. Adjust as directed
– be willing to shift and pivot as the Holy Spirit moves you.
“The LORD says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.’”
Psalm 32:8
8. Be thankful in all things
– even when it doesn’t go according to plan – believe that God has the best for you.
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.“
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Read this well-known verse today and strive to apply it to any decisions you must make.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
by wendy | Sep 11, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
We have all experienced difficult relationships, wounds from a friend, and conflict, so when we become the listening ear for someone else in a relationship crisis we can certainly identify. Here are some tips for how to be an encourager in those times:
Patiently Listen!
Allow your friend to express their frustrations freely. Validate their feelings without justifying retribution.
Encourage the Pause!
After listening, encourage your friend to take some time before making decisions or responding. It is always better to wait until the emotions are settled.
Pray!
Pray with and for your friend. Ask God to bring peace to their heart and peace between parties.
Point to the Word!
Share some Scriptures that are important to you, but also encourage your friend to search for God’s wisdom for themselves.
“When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.”
Proverbs 16:7
by wendy | Sep 9, 2020 | Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
Just this week I received a phone call from someone close to me. She was upset over the words and actions from another friend and wanted to talk it through. As I listened, I affirmed her feelings – I would have been upset as well – but I was careful not to justify any retribution. My suggestions for how to handle the situation were difficult – seething and reacting are easier – but I tried to point her back to a godly way of handling the situation and the relationship.
It was not a coincidence that our Pastor’s sermon Sunday was on the topic of submission within marriage from Ephesians 5. While my friend’s situation had nothing to do with marriage, I was reminded of a point Pastor Jason made emphatically within his talk, “According to Ephesians 5: 21, we are called to submit to all believers!”
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Ephesians 5:21
The Greek word for submit in this passage is “hupotassó” and it means to yield – a word that has a much more positive connotation in today’s society. Yielding always makes me think of traffic and a specific memory comes to mind. Read this excerpt from my Bible Study, “Godly Relationships.”
While traveling on the interstate down to Fort Bragg to visit our soldier-in-training, an RV attempted to change lanes in front of us. A compact car happened to be in his blind spot and we watched helplessly as the large vehicle veered over. Thankfully, the little car had room to move close to the guard rail and scoot out of the way quickly while the RV jerked back into place. An accident was narrowly avoided and my husband, Jerry, used it as a teaching moment for our soon-to-be-released driver in the back seat. “Do you know what you should do in that situation Trevor?” Our son shook his head. “You give the other vehicle as much room as possible!” Jerry wisely instructed.
In Relationships – just like on the highway – people will often pull recklessly into our lane and cut us off. While we may have the right-of-way, we have two choices – give them some space or suffer a dangerous collision.
– Wendy Custer, Godly Relationships
My friend had suffered something similar – she was “cut off” by someone she trusted. She had two choices: 1. She could plow through them claiming the right-of-way, or 2. She could yield to their reckless behavior and avoid a collision. In the first reaction, both parties would likely be harmed, but in the second, a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation would be more possible. The first choice leaves little room for future relationship, while the second requires sacrifice. Hard stuff – but valuable.
Ephesians 5 divulges several keys to this kind of yielded living:
Wisdom is the ability to use the knowledge that one has. This implies thinking through words and actions and choosing them carefully. A wise person considers all angles before acting and understands the impact on every party.
Look for opportunity. (Ephesians 5:16)
While Ephesians 5:15 is written about relationship between believers, Colossians 4:5 is identical except that it speaks of opportunity with unbelievers. Truthfully, we should see every interaction with everyone as an opportunity to live out our calling to be like Jesus. Pause and ask yourself, “What opportunity do I have in this situation?”
Understand the Lord’s will. (Ephesians 5:17)
The only way to understand God’s will is to study His Word. As we read and learn from Scripture, we can know how God desires for us to handle our relationships. His will is clearly written in every book of the Bible, but this article lists some very clear verses to focus on.
“Bible Verses about God’s Will”
Some key elements include: God’s desire for all to be saved, His desire for us to prosper, the command for us to be set apart, the reminder that He equips us for doing good, and Jesus’s direction to deny ourselves.
Be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)
Thankfully, we are never asked to do any of this in our own power. The Spirit empowers and equips us to live and love in the power of God. Paul’s suggestion here is to be continually filled with the Spirit which requires going to God on a daily basis and submitting to His ways.
Be thankful. (Ephesians 5:20)
This is perhaps the most difficult of the list. Training our heart to be thankful in the midst of difficult circumstances and relationships is so hard because it requires us to think of something other than how we feel. The practice of being thankful is perhaps the single most life-changing thing we can train ourselves to do. When I am able to flip my perspective from my suffering to my blessings, understanding God’s protection and provision in my life, I can easily yield to another person.
Yield to one another. (Ephesians 5:21)
You know the saying, “Just do it.” Well – just do it. Yield. But be sure you do it with all of the other keys in place. Be wise, look for opportunity, understand the Lord’s will, be filled with the Spirit, be thankful, AND THEN yield.
You may very well be like that little car – a bit out of breath, startled, shaken, cautious, frustrated, and fully intact and able to drive ahead. These are not easy principles, but they are life-saving and life-giving.
“Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:17-18
