by wendy | May 12, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
When my mother-in-law, Rhoda, passed away several years ago, my father-in-law gifted each of her children with a pair of her shoes – each holding a plant. We placed Rhoda’s sneakers in our garden and they serve as a fitting reminder of her legacy – she was an amazing example of Encouragement in Action.
I never saw Rhoda without her shoes on – I think she hit the floor running each day. Her feet carried her as she served others constantly. Whether she was baking cakes, scrubbing floors, delivering food, driving to the airport, or babysitting children – she was a woman in action. It took me a while to get used to her flurry of activity – especially when she came to visit. Not one to sit and chat, Rhoda cooked and canned, baked and swept, and even polished my silver. Eventually, I came to understand that was her way of showing love.
Even though I experienced her servant heart and passion for doing good deeds, I wasn’t able to put Rhoda’s life into perspective until her time here was done. The visitation for her funeral was scheduled at the largest church available in the area for three hours. People arrived early and stood in line for hours – at least two hours past the allotted time – to have the chance to say to her family, “Let me tell you what Rhoda did for me!” Friends, family, neighbors, and strangers waited patiently to acknowledge the impact my mother-in-law had on their lives. Even in her short 74 years, Rhoda’s reach was enormous – almost as big as her heart.
The significance of that day spoke to my heart in a variety of ways:
As an encourager, I was incredibly inspired.
So many women have influenced my passion to encourage others, but Rhoda specifically inspired me to have a servant heart. She never gave up – even when she was in pain herself. Serving was so deeply ingrained within her that I believe it was her lifeblood. At the root of her service was always love – love for God and love for others.
Her wide reach inspired me to consider every person I meet as an opportunity to encourage.
Rhoda’s encouragement did not discriminate. Old, young, rich, poor, social outcast, or community leader – she saw them all the same. Rhoda’s family is quite large – but it didn’t really matter if you were related or not – she treated all like family!
I am most grateful for the servant heart she planted in her son – my husband.
Rhoda didn’t operate a solo mission. She took along anyone she could – and that included her children when they were small. I am now blessed to be the partner of a mighty example of an Encourager in Action and he is passing that legacy on to our children.
When I visit my garden and my eyes come to rest on Rhoda’s shoes, I have grand visions of filling them someday. But when I shift the focus from the shoes to the thriving plant that is growing inside them, I remember that God is using her legacy to spill over and fill more than any pair of shoes could contain.
“This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayer for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift.”
2 Corinthians 9:12-15
by wendy | May 5, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
When I think of practicing the Encouragement of Presence, I imagine sitting shoulder to shoulder and hugs and warm touches. I am looking forward to the time when that kind of presence is welcome again, but in the meantime I want to be intentional about offering my presence to those that need encouragement. Here are some practical ideas for the Encouragement of Presence during a pandemic:
1. Be Present with the ones you can be with in Person
Often I am so busy trying to encourage everyone else that I forget about the people in my house that need encouragement. As many of us are sheltering in place with our families, it seems the perfect time to reset the focus and to be present with our people. However, it still takes intentionality. Set a time for a family meal, position yourself in common areas where you can be available, start conversations, and most of all – listen. For me, this is a unique opportunity to have my people all here and I don’t want to miss it!
2. Be Present with your Voice
When you cannot be physically present with someone who needs encouragement, pick up the phone and let them hear your voice! There is something incredibly comforting about the sound of someone you know, and while a message or text is good, the pause while you listen on the phone is infinitely better than the … while your person waits for you to respond.
3. Be Present Virtually
Perhaps a step up from a phone call, a video chat allows you to hear a voice and see a face! Expression and body language are a large part of communication, and you will be a wonderful encouragement when you show up (even sans makeup)! This is also a great way to visit while doing other things – like a puzzle or project or eating a meal.
4. Be Present with Photos
Like many others, I am using some of this quarantine time to sort through old photos. It warms my heart and brings me joy to see the pictures of my grown children when they were little. Photos bring back memories and with them the feelings of being in the presence of people. As you come across pictures that would be special to others, send them along with a note of why they are special to you. The memories will make good companions even when you cannot be present.
5. Be Present with a Present
I love to joke with our kids and tell them that my presence is their presents! The truth is, at times, my present can help to remind someone of my presence. A thoughtful gift can make a person feel loved and known and your presence remains as the recipient thinks of you each time they use the gift. This can be especially true when the gift is a reminder of a special time you spent together.
6. Be Present from a safe Distance
When it comes to seeing their loved ones, people have certainly been using their creativity during this pandemic. I love the ideas of visiting through windows, driving by in cars, and sitting far apart in the yard. We can be physically present even with some distance between us. If someone needs your physical presence – be safe – but figure out how to make it happen. There really is no substitute for being with someone in person.
7. Be Present in your Prayers
Always be present in your prayers! Ephesians 2:6 tells us that we are seated with Him in the heavenly realms. If God can supernaturally seat us with Him (in prayer) while we are still here on earth then he can also cause others to feel our presence through our prayers. I have often had people say to me, “I felt your prayers,” and I believe this is what they mean. While our physical presence is important, it is not more important than ushering others into the heavenly throne room in the presence of God when we lift them up in prayer.
Friends, we need the Encouragement of Presence – even now when we are told not to be in the presence of others. Let’s use these practical ideas and not give up meeting with one another in whatever way we can.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing.”
Hebrews 10:23
by wendy | May 5, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
God is so good to me! Whenever I am feeling lonely, He reminds me of His presence. A beautiful sunset, a special Scripture, His peace in my spirit – all of these are like a touch of His hand upon my shoulder to remind me He is there – but perhaps my favorite of all the ways He demonstrates His presence to me is through His people.
A note in the mail, a call from a friend, a smile, a hug, a kind word, a warm meal – each of these serves as a God touch to my lonely, hurting, or anxious soul. A reminder that He is here. And He sees me. And He cares.
It made me think of a favorite children’s book, The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn. (The link allows you to hear the author read this story.) In the story, the little raccoon doesn’t want to go to school because he would prefer to stay with his mother. In her wisdom, she gives him a kiss on the hand to remind him of her love. Each time he thinks of the kissing hand, he is encouraged. In the end, little raccoon kisses her hand back.
The encouragement of others is God’s kiss upon my hand. How amazing is it that when I encourage others it is like kissing God’s hand back?
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
Matthew 25:40
God calls us to encourage one another and demonstrate His love. How can you reach out to someone today? God might be using you as touch their lonely soul needs!
by wendy | May 5, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
You may have heard me talk about my routine of journaling where I have seen God at work each week, but what I don’t often mention is that sometimes it is difficult to find something to write down. I know that God is working in my life, but I don’t always feel His presence. The wonderful thing about keeping a record though, is that I can easily look back through the weeks and read about all the ways He has been present in the past. Remembering gives me confidence to know that He is there and working – even when I don’t see it. As the Scripture (Romans 8:31) says, “If God is for me, who can be against me?”
My pastor, Jason, preached on Isaiah 40 this week and he highlighted the transcendent (above and beyond) and immanent (present and close) nature of God. Understanding these qualities encourages me in complimentary ways. When I recognize that God is bigger than any problem I can have, I am confident in His ability to protect me. When I contemplate the way that God cares for me personally, I feel seen and loved.
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;”
Isaiah 40:11
There are many days that I feel lost and confused in this world. When I turn my eyes to God and remember that He always knows the way, the joy and peace of being a child of God returns.
“I keep my eyes always on the LORD, with him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
You make known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence.”
Psalm 16:8,11
Though you may not see or feel God’s presence today, spend some time reflecting on the ways that God is present with us.
God is Present through his Peace
We can experience God’s peace when we turn our worries over to Him.
“The LORD blesses his people with peace.”
Psalm 29:11
“The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7
God is Present through His Spirit
As believers, we have the gift of God’s Spirit living within us.
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?”
1 Corinthians 6:19
“This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.”
1 John 4:13
God is Present through His Word
Meditating on Scripture seats us in the presence of God.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Psalm 119:105
“My comfort in my suffering is this; Your promise preserves my life.”
Psalm 119:50
God is Present through his People
We can usher others into the presence of God through prayer and by using the gifts he has given us.
“Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Matthew 18:20
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
James 5:16
God is Present through Jesus
God wants us to know His presence so much that He sent His son Jesus to be with us – in person! Immanuel literally means God with us. In Jesus, God made a way for us – sinners – to be with Him – holy and perfect.
“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel (God with us).”
Matthew 1:23
“Therefore , brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and the full assurance that faith brings.”
Hebrews 10:19-22
How do you experience the presence of God?
by wendy | Apr 30, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God
I have a confession. This likely will not be a surprise for those of you that know me well, but I am not a tidy gardener. I love perennials, and I especially enjoy collecting them from friends. I have plants in my flower gardens that I have carried through 5 moves. It brings me great joy to divide the plants, move them around in my yard, and to share them with others. Sadly, while I treasure the plants I collect, I don’t keep good records of what I have planted and where. This can make for a fun surprise when I watch them emerge and bloom in the spring – it is a little like an unexpected visit from an old friend!
The bad part of my negligence is that I don’t always know what is popping up each spring. Occasionally I lose plants because I mistake them for weeds – and that is what almost happened to one of my favorite plants this spring. A clump of what appeared to be grass was growing in the flower bed close to my door. I have been watching it for several weeks and thought about pulling it up. I could blame distraction and laziness for leaving it there to grow, but there was a nagging thought that prompted a wait-and-see attitude regarding the plant. This week, buds appeared atop tall, straight stems and suddenly I remembered! It was my “Star of David” flower. I was so thankful I had waited.
There have been so many times that experiences have cropped up in my life in the same way. I regard them just like that “clump of grass.” I’m often tempted to disregard, dismiss, or devalue the experience just because I cannot see a beautiful bloom or edible fruit. However, if I am faithful to wait, patient enough to allow it to exist – I may be rewarded by recognizing the value of that experience later.
God wastes nothing. While He may not be the author of a difficulty in our lives, He will always use the hard things to strengthen us, grow us, and prepare us. Whether the experience was birthed out of our own poor choices, the ill will of others, the evil of the enemy, or the discipline of the Father, it may prove valuable and it might even bloom into an opportunity to encourage others!
” Is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.”
James 1:4 (Children’s Living Bible)
The truth is that we may not be able to discern which experiences are weeds and which are valuable plants until they have fully developed. But God always knows. We need to rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment and not rush to rip them out of our lives. What difficulties are you experiencing right now? Instead of asking for them to be taken away, could you ask God to strengthen you through the suffering and use you to comfort someone else who walks a similar path?
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
2 Corinthians 1: 4
by wendy | Apr 29, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
I remember the early days of separation and divorce. Suddenly finding myself a single mom with small children was frightening and I longed for someone who had gone ahead of me – a Christian woman who could tell me what I might expect, listen with an understanding ear, and offer wise advise based on her own experience. While I had a wonderful network of family and friends who offered their love and support, that experienced woman never emerged. There may have been qualified women who could have mentored me, but they never stepped forward to share their stories.
I have found myself in other difficult situations – blending a family and becoming a step-mom, mothering a recovering addict, starting my own business – I could go on and on. Each time, I have longed for a godly woman to share her experiences with me – and sometimes they have. But knowing the loneliness and fear that goes along with difficult journeys, I have made it my mission to share my own experiences so I can walk along with others on similar paths and to equip others to do the same! Here are 5 ways that we can encourage others with our experience:
Reach out to others experiencing a similar difficulty.
Each of us has gone through difficulties. Whether your story includes financial struggle, depression, illness, wayward children, or death of a loved one – your experience is valuable to someone else. Even if the details are not the same, your struggle and survival – along with the testimony of how God brought you though – could be a lifeline to another woman. Experience has taught me that I am quickly able to identify the signs of a woman going through something similar to my previous difficulty. Be alert and compassionate. Offer to share your story. Be willing to pray for others and quick to share how God strengthened and restored you in the midst of your trial.
(note: recovery from trauma takes time – keep proper boundaries for your own health – recognize your limits – keep a healthy support system for yourself at all times)
Reach out to others with similar interests.
Encouragement is not always about something painful. It can be just as powerful to encourage a positive thing in others. One of my favorite ways to encourage others is with their interest in art. I love to offer my appreciation and expertise to people that are sharing their creations. Teaching, sharing tips, answering questions, and affirming are all ways that I can share my experience as an artist to encourage others that love art. Make a point to notice others with similar interests to you and intentionally encourage them in those interests.
Reach out to younger people.
I love mentoring young women – but I didn’t always feel so confident in this. When I was younger I felt inexperienced, when I got older I felt – well, old! But when I have been obedient to step out and invite younger women into relationship the blessings have been amazing. I learn so much from them and it turns out they don’t think I am so old after all. The book, “Becoming a Woman of Influence” by Carol Kent strongly impacted my view of mentoring, and I have used it several times in a small group setting with younger women. Mentoring does not have to be a formal experience – simply take notice of younger women or girls and begin to speak truth and encouragement into their lives.
Reach out to others with less experience.
Mentoring relationships do not have to be based on age. Offer your experience to someone who simply has less experience than you. You will be amazed at how much you will learn from them as you mutually encourage one another. One of my favorite recent examples was when my friend, Kellie, who is a house painter offered her knowledge, tools, and connections to get us started on renovating our rental house. It was reassuring to know we had what we needed to get the job done – and Kellie was only a phone call away when we needed her advise!
Reach out to others that need your skills.
Sometimes the best encouragement is to offer your service. Someone may not have the interest or time to learn your skill but would greatly benefit from you offering to do something for them. We have many friends with amazing skills – and that comes in handy when we are are in need. I am so thankful for friends like that – especially when we can offer our skills in return when they are in a bind! Think about what you have to offer and how you might be able to use your experience to encourage someone this week.
The encouragement of experience offers requires stepping out of our comfort zones, but in the end, whenever we reach out to others – we are reaching the heart of God.
“The king will reply, ‘Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'”
Matthew 25:40
