by wendy | Jun 8, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Trusting God
“You sure have been testy lately.”
The comment jabs like a knife into the already tender wound of my own weakness. I am testy – but I don’t want to be told. I want to be heard, seen, validated, comforted. Don’t they see that my testiness is a sign of my emptiness? I’m given out, spent, weary.
All this past week I have listened – listened to the hearts of other women – listened to my own heart. We seem to have a theme – we are tired. We have spent the last several months caring for the emotional health of our families, dealing with the uncertainty of life itself, juggling new roles that have been thrust upon us in the pandemic, and wondering about the fears that we have inside ourselves. It’s not really that we are in it alone – many of us have wonderful partners, supportive families, fabulous friends – but we process things differently, grieve differently. The emotions of change, and fear, and grief, and uncertainty take their toll.
In her book “One Thousand Gifts,” Ann Voskamp says,
“Hurry always empties a soul.”
Voskamp p.67
— As does grief, anxiety, fear …
It’s time to pause.
I know it feels like the world has been on pause – and it has – but this is a different pause. This pause is about encouraging yourself, finding strength in the Lord, renewing your spirit, and getting filled up so you can continue to pour out.
“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
Isaiah 40:31
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God, my hope comes from him.”
Psalm 62:5
This pause is biblical.
God tells us to rest – to be still – to listen – to be quiet. God tells us to pause! He designed our bodies and our hearts for rest. This really shouldn’t be surprising since it is hard to seek God’s presence while running a sprint. We have to slow down – stop even – in order to seek Him, to hear Him. to experience the fullness of His abundance.
“Be still before the Lord.”
Psalm 37:7
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15
This pause is filling.
Oh the abundance – the boundless riches – that He longs to pour into our souls.
“I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being … that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
Ephesians 3:16,19
May I pause to be filled – so I can pour out yet again.
Selah
by wendy | Jun 8, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
My friend, Heather, and I talked about the feeling of overwhelm and weariness the other day.
“I am trying to make sure I have my quiet time,” one of us insisted, “but I still feel like I am running on empty.”
In the same conversation she sends me this quote by Ann Voskamp in “One Thousand Gifts.”
“You have to want to see the well before you can drink from it.”
Voskamp, 131
Later in the day I walk past the little goldfish pond my husband made from a clawfoot tub. He welded an old rusty pitcher to a copper pipe and it appears that water continuously pours from the pitcher to fill the tub. The water never runs out – it always pours out. But if you look closely, you see that the bottom of the pitcher is full of holes. It never holds any water – ever – it has nothing to give. The water flows from the pipe and is pumped up and through the pitcher.
I am that pitcher – rusty and full of holes. There is nothing in me that I can pour out to others – only what is poured out through me. When I try to pour out what I don’t have – I just feel more and more empty.
And its not enough just to sit with my Bible and mutter a few prayers. I need to pause and sit – abide – dwell in His presence. I need to want to be in His presence. I need to want to be filled.
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
Jeremiah 2:13
So how do we truly pause in a way that allows God to fill us? Here are some of the ways I pause.
Rest
Sometimes we need to sleep and other times we need leisure. In his book, “An Unhurried Life“, Alan Fadling describes the difference between holy and unholy leisure. The difference is found in what is life-giving and that could be different for each of us. We sometimes think of leisure – or even sleeping – as idleness or laziness, but rest and leisure are biblical and necessary for quality of life.
Slow down
Take a moment, breathe, step outside of the whirlwind. It is hard to believe, but the world will continue to rotate when take a break. Take time to listen, to think, to reflect, to meditate. Slow your response, slow your reaction, take a time-out. You are allowed – give yourself permission and grace.
Talk to a friend
Choose someone who will encourage you in the Lord. (1 Samuel 23:16) Talk through the hard things. Laugh together, cry together. Admit (confess) your emptiness and attitude. Remind each other of God’s promises and grace and mercy. Point each other back to God.
Each of these 3 ideas are important and biblical, but the next is the most important and the only way to find true peace and lasting strength in the pause…
Practice abiding
The Greek word for abide is “meno” and Kelly Minter described this as “hanging on the vine” in her Bible Study, “What Love Is” – a study on John 1,2, and 3. Hanging out with Jesus – it is a peaceful and intentional activity – a remaining in His presence so He can fill us. Fadling (An Unhurried Life) titles this, “Extended Personal Communion” and it is the single most life-giving thing we can do. It is there – in the abiding, in the communion with God, that we find life and life to the full.
Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life.”
John 14:6
I must want to see The Well, I must drink deeply from The Well, and I must remain connected to The Well – always drawing from The Living Water – so I can continue to pour out.
“Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 4:14
by wendy | Jun 3, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
“As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”
1 Peter 4:10
Live intentionally as if you are on a mission of encouragement – because you are! Here are 8 simple ways you can put your mission into action:
1. Make eye contact and smile!
It’s just amazing what happens when you smile at someone! When you smile, your brain releases good stuff that relieves stress, lifts your mood, and lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. Smiling also causes other people to naturally smile in response – which then causes all those good things to happen in their bodies as well! Test it and see if you can get total strangers to smile at you.
“There’s Magic in Your Smile” Psychology Today
2. Express Gratitude!
Saying thank you is not just good manners, it is an encouragement. People do their jobs day in and day out, often without any appreciation for their work. In a Forbes article about productivity, studies show that people tend to work harder and better when appreciation is shown for their work. Not only does their job performance improve, but their happiness does as well – which then spills over to encouragement toward others. Next time you are disappointed by poor customer service, try to find a way to offer just a bit of gratitude and see if there is a change. Though that change might not happen immediately, chances are they will remember and offer better service in the future.
The Secret to Productivity and Positivity: Show Your Appreciation Forbes
3. Catch people doing good things and report it!
We can be quick to report a problem, but how often do we report something good? I am borrowing this idea from my Elementary Education friends and I recommend you test it out! How fun would it be to ask for the manager and tell them what a great job someone just did for you? Can you imagine contacting the parent of a teenager and reporting the “good thing” you just caught their kid doing? What might happen if you contacted the newspaper or tv station to suggest a story about a person who does nice things for others – especially if these people are some that generally go unnoticed.
4. Ask how you can pray for people!
This is certainly not the first time I have suggested this one, but it is so good it bears repeating! Whenever you find yourself in a position to talk with someone – at the register, in a restaurant, on a bus, in line, in a waiting room, on the phone – ask someone how you can specifically pray for them. If it is appropriate, pray with them on the spot – if not, make a note and commit to pray later. Be prepared to hear a pause and then a very personal request – it may be surprising or even shocking. Remain judgement free and compassionate. If at all possible, follow up with the person later and let them know that you have been praying for them.
5. Ask people how their day is going and then listen!
We are so quick to ask, “How are you doing?” but I wonder how many of us are prepared for an honest response. Consider changing your question to one that beckons a more sincere response than “fine.”
“How is your day going today?”
“What is the best thing that has happened to you today?”
“Is there anything new in your life lately?”
People will often be surprised that you really want to hear about their life – but if you do ask be sure you are prepared to hear the answer! Respond with these statements:
“I hear you.”
“I would like to pray for you.”
“I’m excited (or sad) about that for you.”
People really just want to be seen and heard. Be intentional about seeing and hearing!
6. Look for ways to serve and bless others!
It is not hard to find ways to serve and bless others – the needs all around us are so great. Begin to train yourself to look for the needs, ask the questions, and then act.
The Boy Scouts have a slogan that reads, “Do a Good Turn Daily.”
Some Good Turns are big – saving a life, helping out after floods or other disasters, recycling community trash, working with your patrol on conservation projects. But Good Turns are often small, thoughtful acts – helping a child cross a busy street, going to the store for an elderly neighbor, cutting back brush that is blocking a sign, doing something special for a brother or sister, welcoming a new student to your school. A Good Turn is more than simple good manners. It is a special act of kindness.
This is a wonderful slogan for the Boy Scouts, but this should be the mantra for us all!
7. Plan to give!
My cousin, Amy, loves to plan a day for Random Acts of Kindness to honor her late husband. She prepares a strategy, budgets her resources, recruits a friend, and then goes out to spread kindness in a not-so-random way. Planning to give is a way of being intentional about encouragement. Pre-purchase gift cards to have on hand, keep money in your purse planned for giving, sponsor a child, give to a cause – each of these are ways to plan for giving.
8. Pray for opportunity!
What might happen in your day if you asked God to interrupt your plans to accomplish His purpose? We can – and should – pray for the opportunities for encouraging others to come our way and for us to recognize them. God loves it when we offer ourselves for His service – especially when that means serving others.
“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.”
Romans 12:11
Consider printing this post and keeping it in your journal or displaying it on the fridge so you don’t forget. Use these ideas – or get creative – and be intentional about living on a mission of encouragement!
by wendy | Jun 3, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
I have a confession – I used to feel strong by putting people in their place. I had a habit of pointing out faults and weaknesses in people – especially when it came to customer service. The way I saw it, people needed to do their jobs well and it was my job to let them know when they were not. Thank God He changed that attitude in me – and he used the post-holiday return line at Walmart to do it.
I was standing in a group of people waiting to return a gift that didn’t work. It was the week after Christmas and the store manager had not yet figured out a good system for returns. There were no markers or ropes to define a line, and the poor girl at the register was so busy she hadn’t had time to look up. No one knew who was next – we only knew we were tired of waiting. The result was a crowd of irritated people and a frazzled clerk on the verge of tears.
A lady I recognized from church pushed her way to the front and begin to give the girl at the register a piece of her mind. She was loud and accusatory, and I remember thinking how ugly she appeared as she yelled at the already-defeated worker. Suddenly, it was as if God tapped me on the shoulder and held a mirror to my face. “That is the way you look when you try to put people in their place.”
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29
It was the most clarifying, convicting event of my life. And at that very moment an encourager was born.
Fast forward 15 years or so. I was in the bread aisle at Walmart (why does God use Walmart to speak to me so often?). The bread man was stocking the shelves and he realized he was blocking me from moving forward. “I’m sorry I am in your way.” he said as he moved. Then under his breath he began to mumble, “I’m always in the way. I feel like I am in the way when I am sleeping.”
“You are not in the way,” I retorted as I smiled at him. “I appreciate the work you are doing – otherwise I couldn’t buy bread.” It was a simple show of gratitude and it came easily after years of intentional encouraging.
He smiled back and continued stocking as I rolled on to the next aisle. Suddenly, he popped around the end and cheerily said, “Have a great day!” He had a pep in his step and he was no longer mumbling.
That’s when I figured it out – encouragement is a superpower!
I no longer find my strength in putting people in their place, instead I feel strong when I help people find their place, appreciate their place, and excel in their place. I am so grateful for God, for mirrors, and for a chance to change – and for superpowers. Life is really fun as an encourager!
“You were taught, with regard to your former self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:22-24
by wendy | Jun 2, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer
I met this lady on a playground in the projects where we were serving on our youth mission trip several years ago. She came over to thank us for ministering to the children and she shared how she has been praying for her community. When I asked her how I could pray for her, she poured her heart out for her neighbors. It was a precious time of sharing and though I was hoping to encourage her, she encouraged me!
In recent years, I have worked to establish a habit of encouraging others intentionally. As a part of that, I sometimes ask people that “happen” across my path, “How can I pray for you specifically?” It could be a server in a restaurant, a worker in the grocery store, or someone I notice that needs specific encouragement for a season in their life. I have been surprised that several of those people have responded by saying that no one has ever asked them that before. I have also noticed the pause and deep thought many people give to the question before responding. There seems no better way to get to the heart of a person – to uncover the struggle that weighs on most of their minds – to say to someone, “I truly care about the things you care about.” – than to ask, “How can I pray for you specifically?”
My friend, Becky, shared a post the other day about a small gesture of kindness she made towards a drive-thru employee. She simply said Hello and thanked him for serving her. The boy’s response was one of surprise and gratitude. Please, pause here to reflect on what made him grateful – she saw him and she spoke to him. It was that simple.
This is not so different from the reaction the Woman at the Well had when Jesus took the time to do the same (John 4). Jesus could have followed the social norms of the day to ignore the Samaritan woman – she was not considered worthy of being spoken to. Instead, He made it His mission to speak to her heart. The result of this conversation was encouragement of an entire village!
“Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in Him because of the woman’s testimony … And because of His words many more became believers.”
John 4: 39,41
I wonder – what was the result of Becky’s kindness? Could all of the employees have been encouraged that day? Could the worker have forwarded that courtesy to each of his customers? Could he have possibly gone home to encourage his family? We don’t know – but God does – and this is exactly the mission He has for us each and every day!
What is our mission?
Jesus lived His life here on mission, and that is what we are called to do as well. What is our mission? To declare His praises (1 Peter 2:9), to do good works (Ephesians 2:10), and to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). In short – we are to be on a mission of encouragement!
Spend some time today reflecting on ways that you can live on a mission of encouragement. Resolve to be intentional in that effort each day as you see people, speak to people, pray for people, love people, serve people. Shift your perspective from all the worldly things you must be and do to one who truly knows who she is and what she is called to do!
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.”
1 John 4:16-17
by wendy | May 28, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I said in in the previous post, “the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.” Here are several ideas for encouraging your people:
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”
Ephesians 2:5
Encouragement of Words
- Send notes of encouragement.
- Send a text or message of a verse that speaks to you.
- Call to say, “I am thinking of you.”
Encouragement of Hospitality
- Invite someone over for coffee, lunch, or just a visit.
- Pack a picnic lunch or snack and deliver it to eat on a friend’s porch.
- Plan a “tea” or coffee party and invite several friends to join you.
Encouragement of Prayer
- Choose several people in your circle to add to your prayer strategy.
- Send a message to ask how you can specifically pray for someone.
- Invite a few people in your circle to meet together for prayer.
Encouragement of Giving
- Purchase a gift card to send to someone who needs a special treat.
- Make a batch of homemade cookies or a loaf of bread and deliver to a friend. Don’t forget to include a note!
- Plant a set of teacups with herbs and tie a verse to the handle of each.
Encouragement in Action
- Offer to help with a big project – planting, painting, packing to move.
- Pick up coffee or bagels and deliver to a friend who is swamped with work.
- Babysit for a mom so she can have an afternoon of relaxing fun.
Encouragement of Presence
- Sit with a friend who is waiting – for doctor’s results, for a job opportunity, for a baby or a surgery.
- Offer to drive around with a coworker or neighbor who has just moved to the area.
- Offer to shop with a mom of young kids – entertain the little one while she runs errands.
Encouragement of Experience
- Offer to take a younger woman to lunch and ask her about her dreams. Share a little of your story with her.
- Join a group of women at church – invite a woman from a different generation to join you.
- Invite some friends to join you in your hobby. Gather the supplies and be ready to teach them. Send them home with a kit and something finished.
