by wendy | Apr 29, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
I remember the early days of separation and divorce. Suddenly finding myself a single mom with small children was frightening and I longed for someone who had gone ahead of me – a Christian woman who could tell me what I might expect, listen with an understanding ear, and offer wise advise based on her own experience. While I had a wonderful network of family and friends who offered their love and support, that experienced woman never emerged. There may have been qualified women who could have mentored me, but they never stepped forward to share their stories.
I have found myself in other difficult situations – blending a family and becoming a step-mom, mothering a recovering addict, starting my own business – I could go on and on. Each time, I have longed for a godly woman to share her experiences with me – and sometimes they have. But knowing the loneliness and fear that goes along with difficult journeys, I have made it my mission to share my own experiences so I can walk along with others on similar paths and to equip others to do the same! Here are 5 ways that we can encourage others with our experience:
Reach out to others experiencing a similar difficulty.
Each of us has gone through difficulties. Whether your story includes financial struggle, depression, illness, wayward children, or death of a loved one – your experience is valuable to someone else. Even if the details are not the same, your struggle and survival – along with the testimony of how God brought you though – could be a lifeline to another woman. Experience has taught me that I am quickly able to identify the signs of a woman going through something similar to my previous difficulty. Be alert and compassionate. Offer to share your story. Be willing to pray for others and quick to share how God strengthened and restored you in the midst of your trial.
(note: recovery from trauma takes time – keep proper boundaries for your own health – recognize your limits – keep a healthy support system for yourself at all times)
Reach out to others with similar interests.
Encouragement is not always about something painful. It can be just as powerful to encourage a positive thing in others. One of my favorite ways to encourage others is with their interest in art. I love to offer my appreciation and expertise to people that are sharing their creations. Teaching, sharing tips, answering questions, and affirming are all ways that I can share my experience as an artist to encourage others that love art. Make a point to notice others with similar interests to you and intentionally encourage them in those interests.
Reach out to younger people.
I love mentoring young women – but I didn’t always feel so confident in this. When I was younger I felt inexperienced, when I got older I felt – well, old! But when I have been obedient to step out and invite younger women into relationship the blessings have been amazing. I learn so much from them and it turns out they don’t think I am so old after all. The book, “Becoming a Woman of Influence” by Carol Kent strongly impacted my view of mentoring, and I have used it several times in a small group setting with younger women. Mentoring does not have to be a formal experience – simply take notice of younger women or girls and begin to speak truth and encouragement into their lives.
Reach out to others with less experience.
Mentoring relationships do not have to be based on age. Offer your experience to someone who simply has less experience than you. You will be amazed at how much you will learn from them as you mutually encourage one another. One of my favorite recent examples was when my friend, Kellie, who is a house painter offered her knowledge, tools, and connections to get us started on renovating our rental house. It was reassuring to know we had what we needed to get the job done – and Kellie was only a phone call away when we needed her advise!
Reach out to others that need your skills.
Sometimes the best encouragement is to offer your service. Someone may not have the interest or time to learn your skill but would greatly benefit from you offering to do something for them. We have many friends with amazing skills – and that comes in handy when we are are in need. I am so thankful for friends like that – especially when we can offer our skills in return when they are in a bind! Think about what you have to offer and how you might be able to use your experience to encourage someone this week.
The encouragement of experience offers requires stepping out of our comfort zones, but in the end, whenever we reach out to others – we are reaching the heart of God.
“The king will reply, ‘Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'”
Matthew 25:40
by wendy | Apr 29, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Godly Relationships
Even though my days seem to run together lately, they are not lacking for things to keep me busy. My new writing routine, art business, and family are enough to fill my days, but there always seems to be more than I can find time to do.
Recently, I decided to bake Chocolate Chip Cookies to deliver to my youth group as a way to show them that I was thinking of them. When the day arrived to do the baking, I also had a phone meeting scheduled with my prayer partner – so naturally I decided that multi-tasking would be a great idea. I have made Chocolate Chip Cookies so often that surely I would be able to whip those up while I shared my prayer requests with my PIP (partner in prayer).
Unfortunately, distraction and baking don’t mix well and 10 dozen cookies (minus one forgotten cup of flour) found their way into the trash can after each batch emerged from the oven flat and gooey. Not only did I feel frustrated that I had not given all of my attention to my PIP, but I had also wasted precious ingredients.
I waited until the following day to attempt the cookies again, thankful that I had purchased extra supplies, and I set aside the time to focus entirely on my baking. Even though my cookies have turned out successfully many times before, the voice of failure began to creep in. “You can’t bake – those cookies will be a disaster again.”
I silently reminded myself that I was using a tried and true recipe.
“You are wasting time and money,” the voice insisted.
I pushed back with the reminder to myself that I was doing an important thing for the kids.
“Who do you think you are? This is a silly idea.”
I turned my thoughts to memories of people enjoying my baking in the past. It was hard though – failure and fear were ringing loud in my ears – and it wasn’t the first time. I truly had to use memories of success and trust in the recipe and ingredients to shore up my courage to follow through. No one would have known if I had quit, but I am so glad I didn’t pass up the opportunity to encourage my youth with a sweet treat because of my own discouragement.
Once the cookies (that turned out perfectly by the way) were delivered to the kids, I had an opportunity to think about the whole experience. I realized how often I allow the voice of fear and failure to deter me from encouraging others.
Reject the Resistance – Remember the Recipe
In case you forgot – or maybe you don’t know – let me remind us (I need the reminder too) that the devil prowls around actually looking for someone to pick on (1 Peter 5:8). That might not sound like good news, but it is good to know. Resistance is normal – it is to be expected – but the real good news is that we don’t have to bend to that resistance. James 4:7 tells us that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. The trick is to remember the recipe (or the directions that God gives us for resisting the devil).
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5
In Philippians, Paul gives us a recipe – a list of things to think about instead of the thoughts the enemy would like us to have. He tells us to filter our thoughts by identifying whether or not they are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or praiseworthy – and then he promises that God will give us peace (Philippians 4:8-9).
Reject the Rebuke – Remember the Reason
In the midst of fighting off the rebuke of the enemy, it is helpful to remember that Satan is known as the accuser (Revelation 12:10) and John 8:44 tells us that the devil is the father of lies. If we can remember that the voice in our heads -the one telling us that we are not enough and calling us a failure – that voice is a liar and his intention is to derail, distract, and disrupt the Kingdom of God. We must learn to identify that voice and reject the lies!
“Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called, ‘Today,’ so that none of you will be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”
Hebrews 3:13
Whenever we are tempted to give in to the lie the enemy is trying to use against us, we need to remember the reason why we are doing what we do. Matthew 5:16 tell us to let our lights shine so others will see the glory of God.
Reject the Rejection – Remember the Reward
When we feel rejected, let’s turn the enemy’s game right back on him by reminding ourselves that God says we are chosen, loved, blessed, and called, and no one – not even me – can separate me from that love.
In light of this love, we must press on in our encouragement. Never give up my friend – the reward is very great!
“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”
2 Chronicles 15:7
“Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”
1 Timothy 6:18-19
by wendy | Apr 22, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I was searching the Bible this week for examples of people being strengthened in the Lord, I stumbled across a passage that seems like hidden treasure to me. 1 Samuel 23 tells about David hiding from Saul. Though David never lost faith, he was struggling with fear and discouragement as we all do from time to time – especially in the face of difficulty or danger. Jonathan, the son of David’s enemy, risked life and the favor of his father to go to his friend in time of need. The passage says that Jonathan, “went to David and helped him find strength in God.”
Friends, this should always be our goal in encouraging others. We should not encourage people to find strength in themselves, their circumstances, other people, or in us – true encouragement is to find strength in God alone. David later echoed this same sentiment in one of his Psalms.
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD.”
Psalm 20:7
When we offer the encouragement of prayer, we are helping to strengthen others in God as Jonathon did. When we lift up the concerns of our friends, we are acknowledging the power of God to answer those prayers. When we pray with someone, we are bringing them to the feet of Jesus to find comfort and healing and help. When we ask the discouraged how we can pray for them, we are bearing witness to our faith and trust in His compassion and sovereignty.
Prayer is seen as intensely personal to some, difficult and uncomfortable to others – but Prayer is also a form of encouragement that we can offer to those we don’t even know. Here are some practical ideas for putting the encouragement of prayer into practice with our friends and family as well as strangers on the street.
Make a prayer strategy:
Write down the names of people you intend to pray for intentionally. This could be on a sheet of paper or in a journal. Keep a record of the things you pray for and when they are answered. I make an index card each year for each of my family members. I write the year and the things I am praying for on the cards and make notes through the year of how they are answered. I keep the cards in a photo album and add the new year on top of the last. I can flip through the album as I pray and sometimes take out the previous cards to be reminded of God’s work in their lives throughout the years. I have also used prayer Apps like Echo to keep a list of people to pray for.
Pray as you go:
Pray immediately when your path intersects with a discouraged person. Sometimes I lift those prayers silently, but whenever possible I ask if I can pray with a person immediately. Stopping to pray on the spot ensures that I do not just say, “I will pray for you.” but then forget to do so, and it also encourages the heart of the person I am praying for at that very moment. It may seem uncomfortable to do this at first, but I am always blessed by the encouragement the person receives.
Send a note or message:
I can certainly pray for others without ever letting them know, but it is very encouraging to know that someone is praying for you. A confirmation of this prayer in writing encourages the recipient immediately and serves as a reminder later as well.
Ask how you can pray specifically:
I have been amazed at the responses I get when I ask this question. Many people pause and reflect as though it might be their one opportunity to answer. Some have remarked that they have never been asked the question before. A few have said they don’t need prayer or that I should save the prayer for someone who might need it more. Regardless of their answer, I still pray for them, but I find that the thought that I might actually care enough to ask is encouraging itself. The question is important and valuable and often opens the door to more opportunities for encouragement.
Partner in prayer:
In the last year, a friend offered to partner with me in prayer over a concern in my family. We agreed to meet – by phone – to talk and pray together. After the first meeting, she asked if we could make an appointment to pray together on a regular basis. We quickly expanded our partnership to praying for both of our families, and we have been amazed and grateful at the work we have seen God do in our lives. At first, I assumed this was a ministry my friend had offered to many people throughout the years, but I was astounded to discover that this was the first time she had partnered in prayer this way. We have both been so blessed by this time together and we continue to strengthen each other in the Lord.
Form a Prayer Group:
I once painted in a home where a lady met with a small group of women from her church to pray every week. They asked for the congregation to submit prayer requests to them weekly and they committed to lifting them to God together. These women poured their hearts out week after week for each other, for their families, and for their church.
Whether you choose to pray in person with someone or silently offer prayers on their behalf, practicing the encouragement of prayer is something we all can and should do regularly.
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be make for all people.”
1 Timothy 2:1
by wendy | Apr 22, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
One of the most encouraging things we can do for ourselves and others is to pray. The definition of encourage is to inspire with courage, spirit, and hope, and each of these things can be accessed through prayer.
We access Courage through prayer.
When we submit to God in prayer, we are reminded that He is able to do all that He says He can do. He has promised to be with us, to provide for us, and to protect us. Scripture gives us many examples of great leaders who found courage by crying out to God. Abraham (Romans 4:20-21), Moses (Exodus 17:4), and David (1 Samuel 30:6) all found strength and courage when they sought God in prayer. We too have that privilege. God encourages us to come to Him (James 4:8) and He promises to meet us there.
“The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? the LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.”
Psalm 118:6-7
We access the Spirit through prayer.
When we submit to God in prayer, we open the door for the work of the Spirit in our lives. The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to us (Luke 11:9-13) to intercede on our behalf (Romans 8:26) and to give us peace. The spirit teaches us, reminds us, and restores us.
“The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”
Romans 8:6
We access Hope through prayer.
When we submit to God in prayer, we offer Him the sacrifice of our hope. God is the source of our confidence – our hope. It is only in Him that we can trust that our future is secure.
“Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8
When we go to God in prayer, we access courage, spirit, and hope to encourage our own hearts. We are strengthened so we can encourage others.
by wendy | Apr 16, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
Gifts come in many forms, but what makes a gift worth giving is the joy with which it is given.
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
2 Corinthians 9:7
My stepdaughter, Renee, has always been a cheerful giver! When she was little, she would choose things from her room to wrap up and give as gifts. These precious gifts, along with all of the amazing things my children made for me with their own hands, have remained some of my favorites through the years. What is it that makes a gift from the heart so sweet? I believe it is the joy of the giver.
Giving gifts comes more naturally to some of us than others, but we can develop the encouragement of gifts simply by practicing. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Food is an amazing gift! It fills the belly and fills the heart. Choose one thing you are good at making (my chocolate chip cookies are amazing!) and whip up a large batch. Create bundles – attach a note of encouragement – deliver! If you are not confident in your baking (or cooking) skills, then purchase homemade goodies from a local farmer’s market or bakery. Regardless of whose hands stirred the batter, the gift is sure to hit the sweet spot!
Use your skills and passions to create or craft a one-of-a-kind gift. The ideas are endless, and the time and effort put into making something is priceless. Pray over each gift as you make it and send it with a message of love.
-
Give something from nature.
Flowers, plants, a stone from your hike, a feather – these are the gifts that connect us to our creator. We can pass along the gifts of our Father to others and remind them of His love for us as part of his creation. Include a card with a verse of encouragement about the value of each of God’s creations.
We all have something we treasure. When we give away something that is personal and precious to us, it opens our hearts to make room for even more. Sacrificial giving is the purest form of encouragement. Include a handwritten note to explain the significance of the gift and the person receiving it.
Our God is a lavish giver and a practical giver. If you see that someone needs something – give it to them! It may take a little detective work, but meeting a practical need for people is a very gratifying way to encourage. Sometimes it is appropriate to give these gifts anonymously, but whenever possible include a message to let the recipient know it was given in love.
I would love to hear your gift ideas as well – please comment to share the gifts you have given or received lately that offered encouragement.
“Dear children, let us not love with actions and in truth or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18
by wendy | Apr 13, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
I am not sure I remember ever leaving my Granny’s house without something she had given me. This was especially true in my college years. Each time I stopped by for a visit, I left with containers of food, a newspaper article she had clipped, and various other things Granny had collected for me since the last time I was there. She loved to give!
It wasn’t until after college that I began to recognize the pleasure she took in giving to everyone. My grandparents never had a lot of money, but there was always plenty of food. Grandaddy grew a garden and Granny cooked and baked with love. When I was younger, I noticed that she used her cooking to demonstrate her love to family, with the spreads of food at each gathering and her particular attention to each one’s favorite dishes. But after Grandaddy died and the family spread out, Granny’s cooking and baking became an outreach. She would carry pieces of her famous pound cake and portions of a casserole to residents in her building, people that worked in businesses within walking distance, and anyone else she encountered. Even now, after Granny has been gone from this earth for years, I still hear stories of the gifts of food she shared as she encouraged all those around her.
The legacy my grandmother left behind has taught me much about the importance of gifts in the ministry of encouragement. Long after the food was consumed, the taste of encouragement from those gifts remained with those to whom she delivered. Any gift would have done the same, Granny just used the gift she had – the skill and love of baking and cooking – to administer the encouragement. Gifts don’t have to be expensive – they don’t have to be bought at all – they simply need to come from the heart.
Many people claim to have no gifts to offer, but each of us has something (1 Peter 4:10-11). God created all with value, all with purpose, and all with the ability to give. We tend to wish that we had a gift that has been given to someone else, but unless we are using that which we have been given, the world is missing something valuable.
In this time of isolation, I have been blessed to witness the hidden gifts of so many. As people begin to share and give of themselves, we become more connected and encouraged! Now is the time to think about what you can give. Whether it is a gift wrapped in a box, an act of service, a kind word, or a note of encouragement – your gift matters! Give the gift of encouragement today.
“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.”
Romans 12:4-6
