by wendy | Jun 3, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships
I have a confession – I used to feel strong by putting people in their place. I had a habit of pointing out faults and weaknesses in people – especially when it came to customer service. The way I saw it, people needed to do their jobs well and it was my job to let them know when they were not. Thank God He changed that attitude in me – and he used the post-holiday return line at Walmart to do it.
I was standing in a group of people waiting to return a gift that didn’t work. It was the week after Christmas and the store manager had not yet figured out a good system for returns. There were no markers or ropes to define a line, and the poor girl at the register was so busy she hadn’t had time to look up. No one knew who was next – we only knew we were tired of waiting. The result was a crowd of irritated people and a frazzled clerk on the verge of tears.
A lady I recognized from church pushed her way to the front and begin to give the girl at the register a piece of her mind. She was loud and accusatory, and I remember thinking how ugly she appeared as she yelled at the already-defeated worker. Suddenly, it was as if God tapped me on the shoulder and held a mirror to my face. “That is the way you look when you try to put people in their place.”
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29
It was the most clarifying, convicting event of my life. And at that very moment an encourager was born.
Fast forward 15 years or so. I was in the bread aisle at Walmart (why does God use Walmart to speak to me so often?). The bread man was stocking the shelves and he realized he was blocking me from moving forward. “I’m sorry I am in your way.” he said as he moved. Then under his breath he began to mumble, “I’m always in the way. I feel like I am in the way when I am sleeping.”
“You are not in the way,” I retorted as I smiled at him. “I appreciate the work you are doing – otherwise I couldn’t buy bread.” It was a simple show of gratitude and it came easily after years of intentional encouraging.
He smiled back and continued stocking as I rolled on to the next aisle. Suddenly, he popped around the end and cheerily said, “Have a great day!” He had a pep in his step and he was no longer mumbling.
That’s when I figured it out – encouragement is a superpower!
I no longer find my strength in putting people in their place, instead I feel strong when I help people find their place, appreciate their place, and excel in their place. I am so grateful for God, for mirrors, and for a chance to change – and for superpowers. Life is really fun as an encourager!
“You were taught, with regard to your former self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:22-24
by wendy | Jun 2, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer
I met this lady on a playground in the projects where we were serving on our youth mission trip several years ago. She came over to thank us for ministering to the children and she shared how she has been praying for her community. When I asked her how I could pray for her, she poured her heart out for her neighbors. It was a precious time of sharing and though I was hoping to encourage her, she encouraged me!
In recent years, I have worked to establish a habit of encouraging others intentionally. As a part of that, I sometimes ask people that “happen” across my path, “How can I pray for you specifically?” It could be a server in a restaurant, a worker in the grocery store, or someone I notice that needs specific encouragement for a season in their life. I have been surprised that several of those people have responded by saying that no one has ever asked them that before. I have also noticed the pause and deep thought many people give to the question before responding. There seems no better way to get to the heart of a person – to uncover the struggle that weighs on most of their minds – to say to someone, “I truly care about the things you care about.” – than to ask, “How can I pray for you specifically?”
My friend, Becky, shared a post the other day about a small gesture of kindness she made towards a drive-thru employee. She simply said Hello and thanked him for serving her. The boy’s response was one of surprise and gratitude. Please, pause here to reflect on what made him grateful – she saw him and she spoke to him. It was that simple.
This is not so different from the reaction the Woman at the Well had when Jesus took the time to do the same (John 4). Jesus could have followed the social norms of the day to ignore the Samaritan woman – she was not considered worthy of being spoken to. Instead, He made it His mission to speak to her heart. The result of this conversation was encouragement of an entire village!
“Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in Him because of the woman’s testimony … And because of His words many more became believers.”
John 4: 39,41
I wonder – what was the result of Becky’s kindness? Could all of the employees have been encouraged that day? Could the worker have forwarded that courtesy to each of his customers? Could he have possibly gone home to encourage his family? We don’t know – but God does – and this is exactly the mission He has for us each and every day!
What is our mission?
Jesus lived His life here on mission, and that is what we are called to do as well. What is our mission? To declare His praises (1 Peter 2:9), to do good works (Ephesians 2:10), and to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). In short – we are to be on a mission of encouragement!
Spend some time today reflecting on ways that you can live on a mission of encouragement. Resolve to be intentional in that effort each day as you see people, speak to people, pray for people, love people, serve people. Shift your perspective from all the worldly things you must be and do to one who truly knows who she is and what she is called to do!
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.”
1 John 4:16-17
by wendy | May 28, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I said in in the previous post, “the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.” Here are several ideas for encouraging your people:
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”
Ephesians 2:5
Encouragement of Words
- Send notes of encouragement.
- Send a text or message of a verse that speaks to you.
- Call to say, “I am thinking of you.”
Encouragement of Hospitality
- Invite someone over for coffee, lunch, or just a visit.
- Pack a picnic lunch or snack and deliver it to eat on a friend’s porch.
- Plan a “tea” or coffee party and invite several friends to join you.
Encouragement of Prayer
- Choose several people in your circle to add to your prayer strategy.
- Send a message to ask how you can specifically pray for someone.
- Invite a few people in your circle to meet together for prayer.
Encouragement of Giving
- Purchase a gift card to send to someone who needs a special treat.
- Make a batch of homemade cookies or a loaf of bread and deliver to a friend. Don’t forget to include a note!
- Plant a set of teacups with herbs and tie a verse to the handle of each.
Encouragement in Action
- Offer to help with a big project – planting, painting, packing to move.
- Pick up coffee or bagels and deliver to a friend who is swamped with work.
- Babysit for a mom so she can have an afternoon of relaxing fun.
Encouragement of Presence
- Sit with a friend who is waiting – for doctor’s results, for a job opportunity, for a baby or a surgery.
- Offer to drive around with a coworker or neighbor who has just moved to the area.
- Offer to shop with a mom of young kids – entertain the little one while she runs errands.
Encouragement of Experience
- Offer to take a younger woman to lunch and ask her about her dreams. Share a little of your story with her.
- Join a group of women at church – invite a woman from a different generation to join you.
- Invite some friends to join you in your hobby. Gather the supplies and be ready to teach them. Send them home with a kit and something finished.
by wendy | May 27, 2020 | Encouragement, Focus on God, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
Photo Credit Sherri Cox
I was sitting by the lake with a group of friends on a camping trip. As more people, arrived they arranged their chairs in a circle so we could all see each other easily. It worked for a while – until the afternoon sun began to move the shade and people moved with it. Eventually, the grouping no longer resembled a circle, but our lakeside gathering didn’t end because of the shifting shadows. Instead, as some people moved, others slid in or started up a conversation in a different direction. When the person next to me scooted up, I had the choice to move with them or to engage with someone else. As evening came and everyone drifted away, I was delighted to have had the chance to connect with many different people – it felt like community.
The experience reminded me that our relationship circles of are also ever-changing. People move in and out of our lives depending on geography, interests, life stages, and even the temperature of the relationship. Truthfully, my “circle” rarely resembles a circle. Life is frequently changing and my relationships change too. Because community is fluid, it doesn’t always come easy – we often have to take step to grow and maintain a circle of relationships. And even when we feel like we are a part of something, we need to be ready when changes happen – we can choose to move with the change or engage with someone new.
When I find myself in times of loneliness and missing community, two action steps help me find my place in the circle again”
1. Reach Up!
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
Psalm 71:5-7
No matter how lonely we might feel, we are never alone! God has promised to be with us, to hold us close, and to never abandon us. We need only to reach up to Him to remember that He is there. God gives us everything we need – love, hope, security – and when we allow Him to fill us by spending time in His presence in prayer and studying His word, we will have all we need to reach out to others. We can adjust to the changes in our circle because our God never changes!
2. Reach Out!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
When I was a child, I was the one who frequently moved. My family was military and I attended several different schools. I can distinctly remember looking around after relocating in 2nd grade and intentionally considering how I would make friends. Even at that young age I was aware that making friends and building community required action on my part. That youthful revelation has served me well throughout my life. I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement. We have all heard it said, “To make a friend you must be a friend.” The truth that lies beneath these words is found in the verse above; “look to the interest of others.
“I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.”
Spend some time thinking about how your circle has changed. What friendships need maintenance? Be intentional about reaching out to encourage those friends. Where are there holes in your community? Look around to consider how you might create new friendships through encouragement. Give encouragement out of the abundance of encouragement you have received from God. As you encourage others, you will be amazed at how God will bless you!
“Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”
Proverbs 11:25
by wendy | May 21, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Tips for Encouraging Others
Photo Credit Susan Carter
“A wise woman builds her own house.”
Proverbs 14:1
Sometimes I focus so much on encouraging others that I forget about my own people. It is true that I am called to encourage, but my first responsibility is to encourage the ones entrusted to me. Let’s consider some ideas for encouragement at home.
The Encouragement of Words
- Post Scriptures around your home
- Write notes of encouragement and leave them in a special place for each person
- Speak words of encouragement
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Words here.
The Encouragement of Gifts
- Order a thoughtful gift for your people
- Create handmade gifts for your family members
- Give things you have as gifts to your family
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Gifts.
The Encouragement of Prayer
- Establish a prayer strategy
- Write a prayer card for each person in your family
- Pray with your family
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Prayer.
The Encouragement of Hospitality
- Create a space conducive for gathering as a family
- Fix a special meal and “invite” your family to join you
- Create an event (game night, movie night, scavenger hunt) for your family
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Hospitality.
Encouragement in Action
- Identify a service you can do for each family member
- Include a family member in a service you are doing for another
- Shape your attitude about the ways you are already serving your family
Read about more ideas for Encouragement in Action.
The Encouragement of Presence
- Be intentional about choosing to be present and available
- Set aside a time to be present with each family member individually
- Arrange a time when everyone can be unplugged and present
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Presence.
The Encouragement of Experience
- Offer to teach a family member a skill or talent you have
- Share your stories and experiences with your family with photos or videos
- Take turns sharing your testimonies or stories of faith
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Experience.
by wendy | May 20, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Tips for Encouraging Others
God sets a wonderful example for us in how He cares for and encourages His children. In “The Encouragement of the Father,” we looked at how God encourages us by his devotion, his sensitivity and compassion, the way He promotes and pursues peace, and blesses and forgives His children.
In Romans 12, Paul writes about the responsibility of the believer to care for and encourage our spiritual family. These responsibilities perfectly reflect God’s ways toward us. While we are exhorted to encourage other believers, Paul also reminds us in 1 Timothy that we should turn our attention first to our physical family.
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
1 Timothy 5:8
This Scripture is clear – meet the needs of your household first. Meeting physical needs is necessary, but let’s not forget the importance of encouragement! I love the list Paul gives us in Romans 12:9-21 titled, “Love in Action.”
Be devoted to love…
Love sincerely and be devoted to that love.
We need to demonstrate tender, unselfish love to each member of our family. The key word here is demonstrate – how can you show that love?
Share and practice hospitality.
When we are devoted to something, we pursue it faithfully, and we can do that by sharing with one another and practicing hospitality with our own people.
“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Romans 12:13
Be sensitive and compassionate…
Set the tone for joy, patience, and faithfulness.
Set the tone of encouragement in your home by the way you respond to and pray for each person. Model joy, patience and faithfulness to others and pray for them to follow your example as you follow the example of Christ.
Be sensitive and join others in their celebrations and in their sadness.
Pay close attention to the feelings of others and listen carefully to their hearts. We feel most heard and seen when we are met with understanding and respect for our feelings. Cheer your people on and take the time to sit with someone who is sad.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
Romans 12:15
Pursue and promote peace…
Put others first and look to God to meet your needs.
Perhaps the most difficult place to be selfless is at home – expectations run high – but if we look to God to meet our needs, He will reward and bless us. Many times, when we serve one another without an agenda, we will find others following our lead.
“It is easy for us to decide that we have nothing left to give. We might say that we are exhausted, needy, used up, or beaten up. We might want to hide in a hole or lash out at irritating people around us when we feel this way, but that is not what God expects for us as His ambassadors. He wants to bring our tired and empty hearts to Him so He can fill us back up. We can exchange our dry, brittle spirit for a soft, pliable heart that has room for all of His love.”
Be a peace-seeker and a peacemaker.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:18
I am learning more and more that I cannot do this on my own. It requires a super-natural intervention from God to settle my own heart down and to trust Him to make peace between people. The good news is that God is a peacemaking specialist and He loves to do it! I use a strategy that I call the 3 P’s to help me in times of conflict in my own life.
The 3 P’s:
Pause – take a breath and wait before responding.
Pray – ask God to intervene in my own heart and in the heart of others involved.
Preach – to MYSELF and remind myself of God’s truth and His promises.
Bless and forgive…
Serve others even when they feel like the enemy.
God is very specific on this – we are to bless, forgive, and serve our enemies (or those who feel like the enemy in the moment) and leave any avenging to Him. This may be the most difficult thing to do, but we can trust that God is able to make things right because he is just. Anything we do for revenge is evil and does not please God.
Cling to what is good.
We had a rabbit once that latched its teeth onto the cage wire to prevent being removed from his hutch – true story. Funny picture, but this is the type of clinging we need to do – holding on to good by the skin of our teeth! And I find it takes this kind of persistence because I am constantly tempted to return to selfish motives and expectations. Sadly, they never achieve victory for me. The kind of victory I am looking for is only won when I give it all over to God and let Him have His way with me and my family – no wonder this passage is sandwiched with this concept.
“Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:9,21
Friends, we are responsible to encourage our people. When we look to God and seek His ways, He will give us the opportunities to encourage and the blessings will abound!
