by wendy | May 27, 2020 | Encouragement, Focus on God, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
Photo Credit Sherri Cox
I was sitting by the lake with a group of friends on a camping trip. As more people, arrived they arranged their chairs in a circle so we could all see each other easily. It worked for a while – until the afternoon sun began to move the shade and people moved with it. Eventually, the grouping no longer resembled a circle, but our lakeside gathering didn’t end because of the shifting shadows. Instead, as some people moved, others slid in or started up a conversation in a different direction. When the person next to me scooted up, I had the choice to move with them or to engage with someone else. As evening came and everyone drifted away, I was delighted to have had the chance to connect with many different people – it felt like community.
The experience reminded me that our relationship circles of are also ever-changing. People move in and out of our lives depending on geography, interests, life stages, and even the temperature of the relationship. Truthfully, my “circle” rarely resembles a circle. Life is frequently changing and my relationships change too. Because community is fluid, it doesn’t always come easy – we often have to take step to grow and maintain a circle of relationships. And even when we feel like we are a part of something, we need to be ready when changes happen – we can choose to move with the change or engage with someone new.
When I find myself in times of loneliness and missing community, two action steps help me find my place in the circle again”
1. Reach Up!
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
Psalm 71:5-7
No matter how lonely we might feel, we are never alone! God has promised to be with us, to hold us close, and to never abandon us. We need only to reach up to Him to remember that He is there. God gives us everything we need – love, hope, security – and when we allow Him to fill us by spending time in His presence in prayer and studying His word, we will have all we need to reach out to others. We can adjust to the changes in our circle because our God never changes!
2. Reach Out!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
When I was a child, I was the one who frequently moved. My family was military and I attended several different schools. I can distinctly remember looking around after relocating in 2nd grade and intentionally considering how I would make friends. Even at that young age I was aware that making friends and building community required action on my part. That youthful revelation has served me well throughout my life. I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement. We have all heard it said, “To make a friend you must be a friend.” The truth that lies beneath these words is found in the verse above; “look to the interest of others.
“I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.”
Spend some time thinking about how your circle has changed. What friendships need maintenance? Be intentional about reaching out to encourage those friends. Where are there holes in your community? Look around to consider how you might create new friendships through encouragement. Give encouragement out of the abundance of encouragement you have received from God. As you encourage others, you will be amazed at how God will bless you!
“Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”
Proverbs 11:25
by wendy | May 5, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
When I think of practicing the Encouragement of Presence, I imagine sitting shoulder to shoulder and hugs and warm touches. I am looking forward to the time when that kind of presence is welcome again, but in the meantime I want to be intentional about offering my presence to those that need encouragement. Here are some practical ideas for the Encouragement of Presence during a pandemic:
1. Be Present with the ones you can be with in Person
Often I am so busy trying to encourage everyone else that I forget about the people in my house that need encouragement. As many of us are sheltering in place with our families, it seems the perfect time to reset the focus and to be present with our people. However, it still takes intentionality. Set a time for a family meal, position yourself in common areas where you can be available, start conversations, and most of all – listen. For me, this is a unique opportunity to have my people all here and I don’t want to miss it!
2. Be Present with your Voice
When you cannot be physically present with someone who needs encouragement, pick up the phone and let them hear your voice! There is something incredibly comforting about the sound of someone you know, and while a message or text is good, the pause while you listen on the phone is infinitely better than the … while your person waits for you to respond.
3. Be Present Virtually
Perhaps a step up from a phone call, a video chat allows you to hear a voice and see a face! Expression and body language are a large part of communication, and you will be a wonderful encouragement when you show up (even sans makeup)! This is also a great way to visit while doing other things – like a puzzle or project or eating a meal.
4. Be Present with Photos
Like many others, I am using some of this quarantine time to sort through old photos. It warms my heart and brings me joy to see the pictures of my grown children when they were little. Photos bring back memories and with them the feelings of being in the presence of people. As you come across pictures that would be special to others, send them along with a note of why they are special to you. The memories will make good companions even when you cannot be present.
5. Be Present with a Present
I love to joke with our kids and tell them that my presence is their presents! The truth is, at times, my present can help to remind someone of my presence. A thoughtful gift can make a person feel loved and known and your presence remains as the recipient thinks of you each time they use the gift. This can be especially true when the gift is a reminder of a special time you spent together.
6. Be Present from a safe Distance
When it comes to seeing their loved ones, people have certainly been using their creativity during this pandemic. I love the ideas of visiting through windows, driving by in cars, and sitting far apart in the yard. We can be physically present even with some distance between us. If someone needs your physical presence – be safe – but figure out how to make it happen. There really is no substitute for being with someone in person.
7. Be Present in your Prayers
Always be present in your prayers! Ephesians 2:6 tells us that we are seated with Him in the heavenly realms. If God can supernaturally seat us with Him (in prayer) while we are still here on earth then he can also cause others to feel our presence through our prayers. I have often had people say to me, “I felt your prayers,” and I believe this is what they mean. While our physical presence is important, it is not more important than ushering others into the heavenly throne room in the presence of God when we lift them up in prayer.
Friends, we need the Encouragement of Presence – even now when we are told not to be in the presence of others. Let’s use these practical ideas and not give up meeting with one another in whatever way we can.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing.”
Hebrews 10:23
by wendy | Apr 23, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Focus on God, Prayer, Trusting God
“Things Above” Artwork by Wendy Custer www.cornercopiafarmandstudio.com
Why is it that my mind never chooses peace? Instead, it chooses to think the worst, wrestle with fear and doubt, and grasp for control. Peace does not come naturally – I must pursue it!
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”
Romans 8:6
Paul uses the word govern to describe 2 mindsets – the mind set on the flesh (self, human nature, sinful desires) and the mind set on the Spirit (godly thinking). Where we choose to focus, there will our thoughts follow. James 4 tells us that fights and quarrels among people comes from the desires that battle within us, so it should not surprise us that those desires also keep peace from our minds.
The key to pursuing peace is to choose which mindset I will allow to govern or rule in my mind. In Colossians we are told to “Set your minds on things above.” (v. 2) and to “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” (v. 15) Both of these directions begin with words that imply it is up to us to change our minds, but this change requires divine intervention and the power of God.
How can we pursue this power?
First Pray
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Philippians 4:6
Instead of submitting to anxiety, we submit our thoughts and concerns to God, inviting Him to intervene with His power and peace. This is a choice – an action designed to turn us from the powerlessness of ourselves to placing our trust in the all-powerful God. In response to this trust, God gives us His peace – confidence in His power and rest for our anxious minds.
“And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7
Second Change what you think about.
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
Philippians 4:8
Once we have submitted our thoughts to God in prayer and He has given us peace, we have another step to follow. We must change our minds by moving our focus from fear to faith. When we choose to partner with him through prayer, He will stand guard and keep the anxious thoughts from sabotaging our peace, but we must continue to partner with Him – not allowing those thoughts to sneak in the back door. We must be steadfast to walk in that trust.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.”
Isaiah 26:3
A steadfast mind chooses to return to God over and over, trusting that He can do all He says He will do. This takes practice – training our minds to to think godly thoughts – preaching to ourselves. And when we train, we become strong.
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15
Peace can prevail in our minds when we continually turn to prayer and change our focus. Trouble will continue to come, difficulty will always find us, but Peace wins out when we trust in the Lord and never cease to pray.
“Surely the righteous will never be shaken … They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear.”
Psalm 112:6-8
by wendy | Apr 22, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I was searching the Bible this week for examples of people being strengthened in the Lord, I stumbled across a passage that seems like hidden treasure to me. 1 Samuel 23 tells about David hiding from Saul. Though David never lost faith, he was struggling with fear and discouragement as we all do from time to time – especially in the face of difficulty or danger. Jonathan, the son of David’s enemy, risked life and the favor of his father to go to his friend in time of need. The passage says that Jonathan, “went to David and helped him find strength in God.”
Friends, this should always be our goal in encouraging others. We should not encourage people to find strength in themselves, their circumstances, other people, or in us – true encouragement is to find strength in God alone. David later echoed this same sentiment in one of his Psalms.
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD.”
Psalm 20:7
When we offer the encouragement of prayer, we are helping to strengthen others in God as Jonathon did. When we lift up the concerns of our friends, we are acknowledging the power of God to answer those prayers. When we pray with someone, we are bringing them to the feet of Jesus to find comfort and healing and help. When we ask the discouraged how we can pray for them, we are bearing witness to our faith and trust in His compassion and sovereignty.
Prayer is seen as intensely personal to some, difficult and uncomfortable to others – but Prayer is also a form of encouragement that we can offer to those we don’t even know. Here are some practical ideas for putting the encouragement of prayer into practice with our friends and family as well as strangers on the street.
Make a prayer strategy:
Write down the names of people you intend to pray for intentionally. This could be on a sheet of paper or in a journal. Keep a record of the things you pray for and when they are answered. I make an index card each year for each of my family members. I write the year and the things I am praying for on the cards and make notes through the year of how they are answered. I keep the cards in a photo album and add the new year on top of the last. I can flip through the album as I pray and sometimes take out the previous cards to be reminded of God’s work in their lives throughout the years. I have also used prayer Apps like Echo to keep a list of people to pray for.
Pray as you go:
Pray immediately when your path intersects with a discouraged person. Sometimes I lift those prayers silently, but whenever possible I ask if I can pray with a person immediately. Stopping to pray on the spot ensures that I do not just say, “I will pray for you.” but then forget to do so, and it also encourages the heart of the person I am praying for at that very moment. It may seem uncomfortable to do this at first, but I am always blessed by the encouragement the person receives.
Send a note or message:
I can certainly pray for others without ever letting them know, but it is very encouraging to know that someone is praying for you. A confirmation of this prayer in writing encourages the recipient immediately and serves as a reminder later as well.
Ask how you can pray specifically:
I have been amazed at the responses I get when I ask this question. Many people pause and reflect as though it might be their one opportunity to answer. Some have remarked that they have never been asked the question before. A few have said they don’t need prayer or that I should save the prayer for someone who might need it more. Regardless of their answer, I still pray for them, but I find that the thought that I might actually care enough to ask is encouraging itself. The question is important and valuable and often opens the door to more opportunities for encouragement.
Partner in prayer:
In the last year, a friend offered to partner with me in prayer over a concern in my family. We agreed to meet – by phone – to talk and pray together. After the first meeting, she asked if we could make an appointment to pray together on a regular basis. We quickly expanded our partnership to praying for both of our families, and we have been amazed and grateful at the work we have seen God do in our lives. At first, I assumed this was a ministry my friend had offered to many people throughout the years, but I was astounded to discover that this was the first time she had partnered in prayer this way. We have both been so blessed by this time together and we continue to strengthen each other in the Lord.
Form a Prayer Group:
I once painted in a home where a lady met with a small group of women from her church to pray every week. They asked for the congregation to submit prayer requests to them weekly and they committed to lifting them to God together. These women poured their hearts out week after week for each other, for their families, and for their church.
Whether you choose to pray in person with someone or silently offer prayers on their behalf, practicing the encouragement of prayer is something we all can and should do regularly.
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be make for all people.”
1 Timothy 2:1
