by wendy | Jul 16, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Tips for Encouraging Others
The Bible specifically tells us to care for the widows among us.
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”
James 1:27
I think widows often go unnoticed and underserved because they are so often the caretakers. While widows of today might not be in such dire straights as they were in biblical times, we must understand that they are still in need of our encouragement. Take some time to look around and think about who the widows are – in your church, in your neighborhood, and in your family.
Here are some specific ideas for encouraging widows:
1.Visit!
Living alone is – well – lonely. Even the most independent widow would probably enjoy some company from time to time. My friend, Tracy, and I have been having coffee chats with our neighbor widow, Agnes, for years.
2. Listen
Older widows have so much life experience to share. I often ask Ms. Agnes, “How did you handle this?” and “What was that stage like for you?” Her stories and wisdom give fresh insight for many of my life issues.
Younger widows have much to share as well. Though they may not have lived as long, grief and sorrow develops wisdom that we can all learn from.
Beyond the wisdom, everyone has a need to be heard.
3. Take along for shopping/errands
One of my favorite things when my children were small was pick up my Granny and take her along for shopping and errands. She enjoyed the outing and the kids – I enjoyed the extra set of hands and the adult company.
4. Take a meal or leftovers – eat with them whenever possible
Cooking for one and eating alone is no fun. Share your leftovers – especially in freezable portions – but more importantly share a meal and eat with her!
5. Invite to join your family for special occasions – or just for the day
Don’t wait for your house to be quiet and clean or for the time to prepare the perfect meal. Many widows would love the opportunity to join in your family time even if that feels chaotic to you. What you consider to be a zoo might just represent the fullness of life someone else has been missing.
6. Pray
Pray for and with the widows among you. Ask them specifically how you can pray for them and ask them to pray for you.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself. ”
Luke 10:27
by wendy | Jul 9, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I was writing the post, “Prepare and Perfect – Encouragement for the Process” earlier this week, I was reminded of the clear sense of mission Jesus had when he met with the Woman at the Well. When John says that Jesus had to go through Samaria, he is suggesting that Jesus needed to go there to accomplish something – not that it was the only road to get to where He was going. It is this same passion for mission that I want to have in my life as well.
I wrote another post about a “A Mission of Encouragement” last month and this is becoming a theme for me. That most likely means that God is using it as a teaching moment for me – and perhaps you as well. As God continues to bring up the topic of a Mission of Encouragement, He seems to turn it ever so slightly so I can look at it from a different angle each time. This week the angle is intercession – the Encouragement of Prayer.
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
Ephesians 6:18
Throughout Scripture, we are encouraged to pray for:
Each Other
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
James 5:16
Other Believers
“From the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,”
Colossians 1:9
Our Country (towns, cities, counties, states)
“But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”
Jeremiah 29:7
Our Leaders
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”
1 Timothy 2:1-2
Unbelievers
“Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved.”
Romans 10:1
In order to be Intentional about our Mission of the Encouragement of Prayer, we need to have Intentional Strategies for Intercession.
Ideas for Intentional Intercession:
1.Planner Prayer
- Gather favorite verses from friends and family and write them on various days in your planner. Commit to pray for that person on that day when it arrives.
- Write a list of people to encourage and pray for as a part of your weekly planning.
- Assign a different day of the week to different groups to pray for.
2. Prayer Book
- Make a flip book of names and prayer needs on index cards.
- Create a prayer album using photos of people you want to pray for.
- Create a “book” from your Christmas Cards and pray through the families at regular intervals.
- Use the church directory or your address book to pray for others.
3. Prayer Device
- Use a prayer app like Echo.
- Keep a list of people to pray for in the notes on your phone.
- Use the photos on your phone to help you pray for others.
- Pray through your contact list or your followers on social media.
4. Traveling Prayer
- Pray for each house and business you pass as you travel to work each day.
- Pray for your neighbors as you walk, bike, or drive through the neighborhood.
- Pray for towns as you travel through.
- Pray for other passengers on your bus, train, or plane.
- Pray for the people you sit beside at stoplights.
“We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers.”
1 Thessalonians 1:2
by wendy | Jun 3, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
“As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”
1 Peter 4:10
Live intentionally as if you are on a mission of encouragement – because you are! Here are 8 simple ways you can put your mission into action:
1. Make eye contact and smile!
It’s just amazing what happens when you smile at someone! When you smile, your brain releases good stuff that relieves stress, lifts your mood, and lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. Smiling also causes other people to naturally smile in response – which then causes all those good things to happen in their bodies as well! Test it and see if you can get total strangers to smile at you.
“There’s Magic in Your Smile” Psychology Today
2. Express Gratitude!
Saying thank you is not just good manners, it is an encouragement. People do their jobs day in and day out, often without any appreciation for their work. In a Forbes article about productivity, studies show that people tend to work harder and better when appreciation is shown for their work. Not only does their job performance improve, but their happiness does as well – which then spills over to encouragement toward others. Next time you are disappointed by poor customer service, try to find a way to offer just a bit of gratitude and see if there is a change. Though that change might not happen immediately, chances are they will remember and offer better service in the future.
The Secret to Productivity and Positivity: Show Your Appreciation Forbes
3. Catch people doing good things and report it!
We can be quick to report a problem, but how often do we report something good? I am borrowing this idea from my Elementary Education friends and I recommend you test it out! How fun would it be to ask for the manager and tell them what a great job someone just did for you? Can you imagine contacting the parent of a teenager and reporting the “good thing” you just caught their kid doing? What might happen if you contacted the newspaper or tv station to suggest a story about a person who does nice things for others – especially if these people are some that generally go unnoticed.
4. Ask how you can pray for people!
This is certainly not the first time I have suggested this one, but it is so good it bears repeating! Whenever you find yourself in a position to talk with someone – at the register, in a restaurant, on a bus, in line, in a waiting room, on the phone – ask someone how you can specifically pray for them. If it is appropriate, pray with them on the spot – if not, make a note and commit to pray later. Be prepared to hear a pause and then a very personal request – it may be surprising or even shocking. Remain judgement free and compassionate. If at all possible, follow up with the person later and let them know that you have been praying for them.
5. Ask people how their day is going and then listen!
We are so quick to ask, “How are you doing?” but I wonder how many of us are prepared for an honest response. Consider changing your question to one that beckons a more sincere response than “fine.”
“How is your day going today?”
“What is the best thing that has happened to you today?”
“Is there anything new in your life lately?”
People will often be surprised that you really want to hear about their life – but if you do ask be sure you are prepared to hear the answer! Respond with these statements:
“I hear you.”
“I would like to pray for you.”
“I’m excited (or sad) about that for you.”
People really just want to be seen and heard. Be intentional about seeing and hearing!
6. Look for ways to serve and bless others!
It is not hard to find ways to serve and bless others – the needs all around us are so great. Begin to train yourself to look for the needs, ask the questions, and then act.
The Boy Scouts have a slogan that reads, “Do a Good Turn Daily.”
Some Good Turns are big – saving a life, helping out after floods or other disasters, recycling community trash, working with your patrol on conservation projects. But Good Turns are often small, thoughtful acts – helping a child cross a busy street, going to the store for an elderly neighbor, cutting back brush that is blocking a sign, doing something special for a brother or sister, welcoming a new student to your school. A Good Turn is more than simple good manners. It is a special act of kindness.
This is a wonderful slogan for the Boy Scouts, but this should be the mantra for us all!
7. Plan to give!
My cousin, Amy, loves to plan a day for Random Acts of Kindness to honor her late husband. She prepares a strategy, budgets her resources, recruits a friend, and then goes out to spread kindness in a not-so-random way. Planning to give is a way of being intentional about encouragement. Pre-purchase gift cards to have on hand, keep money in your purse planned for giving, sponsor a child, give to a cause – each of these are ways to plan for giving.
8. Pray for opportunity!
What might happen in your day if you asked God to interrupt your plans to accomplish His purpose? We can – and should – pray for the opportunities for encouraging others to come our way and for us to recognize them. God loves it when we offer ourselves for His service – especially when that means serving others.
“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.”
Romans 12:11
Consider printing this post and keeping it in your journal or displaying it on the fridge so you don’t forget. Use these ideas – or get creative – and be intentional about living on a mission of encouragement!
by wendy | May 28, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I said in in the previous post, “the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.” Here are several ideas for encouraging your people:
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”
Ephesians 2:5
Encouragement of Words
- Send notes of encouragement.
- Send a text or message of a verse that speaks to you.
- Call to say, “I am thinking of you.”
Encouragement of Hospitality
- Invite someone over for coffee, lunch, or just a visit.
- Pack a picnic lunch or snack and deliver it to eat on a friend’s porch.
- Plan a “tea” or coffee party and invite several friends to join you.
Encouragement of Prayer
- Choose several people in your circle to add to your prayer strategy.
- Send a message to ask how you can specifically pray for someone.
- Invite a few people in your circle to meet together for prayer.
Encouragement of Giving
- Purchase a gift card to send to someone who needs a special treat.
- Make a batch of homemade cookies or a loaf of bread and deliver to a friend. Don’t forget to include a note!
- Plant a set of teacups with herbs and tie a verse to the handle of each.
Encouragement in Action
- Offer to help with a big project – planting, painting, packing to move.
- Pick up coffee or bagels and deliver to a friend who is swamped with work.
- Babysit for a mom so she can have an afternoon of relaxing fun.
Encouragement of Presence
- Sit with a friend who is waiting – for doctor’s results, for a job opportunity, for a baby or a surgery.
- Offer to drive around with a coworker or neighbor who has just moved to the area.
- Offer to shop with a mom of young kids – entertain the little one while she runs errands.
Encouragement of Experience
- Offer to take a younger woman to lunch and ask her about her dreams. Share a little of your story with her.
- Join a group of women at church – invite a woman from a different generation to join you.
- Invite some friends to join you in your hobby. Gather the supplies and be ready to teach them. Send them home with a kit and something finished.
by wendy | May 27, 2020 | Encouragement, Focus on God, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
Photo Credit Sherri Cox
I was sitting by the lake with a group of friends on a camping trip. As more people, arrived they arranged their chairs in a circle so we could all see each other easily. It worked for a while – until the afternoon sun began to move the shade and people moved with it. Eventually, the grouping no longer resembled a circle, but our lakeside gathering didn’t end because of the shifting shadows. Instead, as some people moved, others slid in or started up a conversation in a different direction. When the person next to me scooted up, I had the choice to move with them or to engage with someone else. As evening came and everyone drifted away, I was delighted to have had the chance to connect with many different people – it felt like community.
The experience reminded me that our relationship circles of are also ever-changing. People move in and out of our lives depending on geography, interests, life stages, and even the temperature of the relationship. Truthfully, my “circle” rarely resembles a circle. Life is frequently changing and my relationships change too. Because community is fluid, it doesn’t always come easy – we often have to take step to grow and maintain a circle of relationships. And even when we feel like we are a part of something, we need to be ready when changes happen – we can choose to move with the change or engage with someone new.
When I find myself in times of loneliness and missing community, two action steps help me find my place in the circle again”
1. Reach Up!
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
Psalm 71:5-7
No matter how lonely we might feel, we are never alone! God has promised to be with us, to hold us close, and to never abandon us. We need only to reach up to Him to remember that He is there. God gives us everything we need – love, hope, security – and when we allow Him to fill us by spending time in His presence in prayer and studying His word, we will have all we need to reach out to others. We can adjust to the changes in our circle because our God never changes!
2. Reach Out!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
When I was a child, I was the one who frequently moved. My family was military and I attended several different schools. I can distinctly remember looking around after relocating in 2nd grade and intentionally considering how I would make friends. Even at that young age I was aware that making friends and building community required action on my part. That youthful revelation has served me well throughout my life. I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement. We have all heard it said, “To make a friend you must be a friend.” The truth that lies beneath these words is found in the verse above; “look to the interest of others.
“I have always found that the key to growing and maintaining a successful community is encouragement.”
Spend some time thinking about how your circle has changed. What friendships need maintenance? Be intentional about reaching out to encourage those friends. Where are there holes in your community? Look around to consider how you might create new friendships through encouragement. Give encouragement out of the abundance of encouragement you have received from God. As you encourage others, you will be amazed at how God will bless you!
“Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”
Proverbs 11:25
by wendy | May 21, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Tips for Encouraging Others
Photo Credit Susan Carter
“A wise woman builds her own house.”
Proverbs 14:1
Sometimes I focus so much on encouraging others that I forget about my own people. It is true that I am called to encourage, but my first responsibility is to encourage the ones entrusted to me. Let’s consider some ideas for encouragement at home.
The Encouragement of Words
- Post Scriptures around your home
- Write notes of encouragement and leave them in a special place for each person
- Speak words of encouragement
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Words here.
The Encouragement of Gifts
- Order a thoughtful gift for your people
- Create handmade gifts for your family members
- Give things you have as gifts to your family
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Gifts.
The Encouragement of Prayer
- Establish a prayer strategy
- Write a prayer card for each person in your family
- Pray with your family
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Prayer.
The Encouragement of Hospitality
- Create a space conducive for gathering as a family
- Fix a special meal and “invite” your family to join you
- Create an event (game night, movie night, scavenger hunt) for your family
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Hospitality.
Encouragement in Action
- Identify a service you can do for each family member
- Include a family member in a service you are doing for another
- Shape your attitude about the ways you are already serving your family
Read about more ideas for Encouragement in Action.
The Encouragement of Presence
- Be intentional about choosing to be present and available
- Set aside a time to be present with each family member individually
- Arrange a time when everyone can be unplugged and present
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Presence.
The Encouragement of Experience
- Offer to teach a family member a skill or talent you have
- Share your stories and experiences with your family with photos or videos
- Take turns sharing your testimonies or stories of faith
Read about more ideas for the Encouragement of Experience.
