by wendy | May 20, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Hospitality, Tips for Encouraging Others
God sets a wonderful example for us in how He cares for and encourages His children. In “The Encouragement of the Father,” we looked at how God encourages us by his devotion, his sensitivity and compassion, the way He promotes and pursues peace, and blesses and forgives His children.
In Romans 12, Paul writes about the responsibility of the believer to care for and encourage our spiritual family. These responsibilities perfectly reflect God’s ways toward us. While we are exhorted to encourage other believers, Paul also reminds us in 1 Timothy that we should turn our attention first to our physical family.
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
1 Timothy 5:8
This Scripture is clear – meet the needs of your household first. Meeting physical needs is necessary, but let’s not forget the importance of encouragement! I love the list Paul gives us in Romans 12:9-21 titled, “Love in Action.”
Be devoted to love…
Love sincerely and be devoted to that love.
We need to demonstrate tender, unselfish love to each member of our family. The key word here is demonstrate – how can you show that love?
Share and practice hospitality.
When we are devoted to something, we pursue it faithfully, and we can do that by sharing with one another and practicing hospitality with our own people.
“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Romans 12:13
Be sensitive and compassionate…
Set the tone for joy, patience, and faithfulness.
Set the tone of encouragement in your home by the way you respond to and pray for each person. Model joy, patience and faithfulness to others and pray for them to follow your example as you follow the example of Christ.
Be sensitive and join others in their celebrations and in their sadness.
Pay close attention to the feelings of others and listen carefully to their hearts. We feel most heard and seen when we are met with understanding and respect for our feelings. Cheer your people on and take the time to sit with someone who is sad.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
Romans 12:15
Pursue and promote peace…
Put others first and look to God to meet your needs.
Perhaps the most difficult place to be selfless is at home – expectations run high – but if we look to God to meet our needs, He will reward and bless us. Many times, when we serve one another without an agenda, we will find others following our lead.
“It is easy for us to decide that we have nothing left to give. We might say that we are exhausted, needy, used up, or beaten up. We might want to hide in a hole or lash out at irritating people around us when we feel this way, but that is not what God expects for us as His ambassadors. He wants to bring our tired and empty hearts to Him so He can fill us back up. We can exchange our dry, brittle spirit for a soft, pliable heart that has room for all of His love.”
Be a peace-seeker and a peacemaker.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:18
I am learning more and more that I cannot do this on my own. It requires a super-natural intervention from God to settle my own heart down and to trust Him to make peace between people. The good news is that God is a peacemaking specialist and He loves to do it! I use a strategy that I call the 3 P’s to help me in times of conflict in my own life.
The 3 P’s:
Pause – take a breath and wait before responding.
Pray – ask God to intervene in my own heart and in the heart of others involved.
Preach – to MYSELF and remind myself of God’s truth and His promises.
Bless and forgive…
Serve others even when they feel like the enemy.
God is very specific on this – we are to bless, forgive, and serve our enemies (or those who feel like the enemy in the moment) and leave any avenging to Him. This may be the most difficult thing to do, but we can trust that God is able to make things right because he is just. Anything we do for revenge is evil and does not please God.
Cling to what is good.
We had a rabbit once that latched its teeth onto the cage wire to prevent being removed from his hutch – true story. Funny picture, but this is the type of clinging we need to do – holding on to good by the skin of our teeth! And I find it takes this kind of persistence because I am constantly tempted to return to selfish motives and expectations. Sadly, they never achieve victory for me. The kind of victory I am looking for is only won when I give it all over to God and let Him have His way with me and my family – no wonder this passage is sandwiched with this concept.
“Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:9,21
Friends, we are responsible to encourage our people. When we look to God and seek His ways, He will give us the opportunities to encourage and the blessings will abound!
by wendy | May 13, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
“We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Thessalonians 1:3
The book of James discusses faith in action and explains that the our faith results in demonstrating love for God and love for others through our actions. We cannot achieve salvation through our deeds, but our good deeds demonstrate our changed hearts and the gratitude we have for God’s grace and mercy.
“Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.”
Deuteronomy 16:17
When we are encouraged by God, the natural response is to then encourage others – and perhaps one of the most practical ways we can do this is through service. When we serve others out of the abundance God has given us, we are blessed!
Here are 5 Ideas for you to serve others through Encouragement in Action:
Use the Tools I have:
We all have tools – lawn tools, business tools, kitchen tools, craft tools, educational tools, and of course regular household tools – and chances are we have tools that others do not. What a great encouragement we can offer others when we use our tools to serve each other!
Use the Skills I have:
What skills do you have? Cooking/baking, landscaping, mechanics, bookkeeping, teaching/tutoring, childcare, medical care, photography, decorating, sewing, household repair – the list could go on and on. How can you use something you are good at to encourage someone else?
Use the Time I have:
Even if we don’t own many tools or feel unskilled, we all have time (or can make time) to help someone. Offer to clean out gutters, walk the dog, make a meal, run errands, babysit, mow the grass, clean the house, check the mail, water the plants, read to a child. Think about what a difference just a little bit of time could make in someone else’s life!
Use the Money I have:
Perhaps you are super busy but have financial resources you can share. Purchase a gift card, pay for a house cleaner, donate to a cause, pay for an inspection, buy the food, purchase sports equipment, cover a bill. Go beyond a handout and use your gift to perform a needed service.
Use the Energy and Strength I have:
Energy and strength is a gift not everyone possesses. If you have even a little, give the gift of yourself to serve as a gopher, lifter, worker, digger, mover, etc. My kids make fun of my “magic finger” when I point to things that need to be done, but give someone the power to get things done in your strength as you serve and be sure to enjoy the fellowship while you work together!
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”
Hebrews 6:10
by wendy | May 5, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
When I think of practicing the Encouragement of Presence, I imagine sitting shoulder to shoulder and hugs and warm touches. I am looking forward to the time when that kind of presence is welcome again, but in the meantime I want to be intentional about offering my presence to those that need encouragement. Here are some practical ideas for the Encouragement of Presence during a pandemic:
1. Be Present with the ones you can be with in Person
Often I am so busy trying to encourage everyone else that I forget about the people in my house that need encouragement. As many of us are sheltering in place with our families, it seems the perfect time to reset the focus and to be present with our people. However, it still takes intentionality. Set a time for a family meal, position yourself in common areas where you can be available, start conversations, and most of all – listen. For me, this is a unique opportunity to have my people all here and I don’t want to miss it!
2. Be Present with your Voice
When you cannot be physically present with someone who needs encouragement, pick up the phone and let them hear your voice! There is something incredibly comforting about the sound of someone you know, and while a message or text is good, the pause while you listen on the phone is infinitely better than the … while your person waits for you to respond.
3. Be Present Virtually
Perhaps a step up from a phone call, a video chat allows you to hear a voice and see a face! Expression and body language are a large part of communication, and you will be a wonderful encouragement when you show up (even sans makeup)! This is also a great way to visit while doing other things – like a puzzle or project or eating a meal.
4. Be Present with Photos
Like many others, I am using some of this quarantine time to sort through old photos. It warms my heart and brings me joy to see the pictures of my grown children when they were little. Photos bring back memories and with them the feelings of being in the presence of people. As you come across pictures that would be special to others, send them along with a note of why they are special to you. The memories will make good companions even when you cannot be present.
5. Be Present with a Present
I love to joke with our kids and tell them that my presence is their presents! The truth is, at times, my present can help to remind someone of my presence. A thoughtful gift can make a person feel loved and known and your presence remains as the recipient thinks of you each time they use the gift. This can be especially true when the gift is a reminder of a special time you spent together.
6. Be Present from a safe Distance
When it comes to seeing their loved ones, people have certainly been using their creativity during this pandemic. I love the ideas of visiting through windows, driving by in cars, and sitting far apart in the yard. We can be physically present even with some distance between us. If someone needs your physical presence – be safe – but figure out how to make it happen. There really is no substitute for being with someone in person.
7. Be Present in your Prayers
Always be present in your prayers! Ephesians 2:6 tells us that we are seated with Him in the heavenly realms. If God can supernaturally seat us with Him (in prayer) while we are still here on earth then he can also cause others to feel our presence through our prayers. I have often had people say to me, “I felt your prayers,” and I believe this is what they mean. While our physical presence is important, it is not more important than ushering others into the heavenly throne room in the presence of God when we lift them up in prayer.
Friends, we need the Encouragement of Presence – even now when we are told not to be in the presence of others. Let’s use these practical ideas and not give up meeting with one another in whatever way we can.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing.”
Hebrews 10:23
by wendy | Apr 29, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
I remember the early days of separation and divorce. Suddenly finding myself a single mom with small children was frightening and I longed for someone who had gone ahead of me – a Christian woman who could tell me what I might expect, listen with an understanding ear, and offer wise advise based on her own experience. While I had a wonderful network of family and friends who offered their love and support, that experienced woman never emerged. There may have been qualified women who could have mentored me, but they never stepped forward to share their stories.
I have found myself in other difficult situations – blending a family and becoming a step-mom, mothering a recovering addict, starting my own business – I could go on and on. Each time, I have longed for a godly woman to share her experiences with me – and sometimes they have. But knowing the loneliness and fear that goes along with difficult journeys, I have made it my mission to share my own experiences so I can walk along with others on similar paths and to equip others to do the same! Here are 5 ways that we can encourage others with our experience:
Reach out to others experiencing a similar difficulty.
Each of us has gone through difficulties. Whether your story includes financial struggle, depression, illness, wayward children, or death of a loved one – your experience is valuable to someone else. Even if the details are not the same, your struggle and survival – along with the testimony of how God brought you though – could be a lifeline to another woman. Experience has taught me that I am quickly able to identify the signs of a woman going through something similar to my previous difficulty. Be alert and compassionate. Offer to share your story. Be willing to pray for others and quick to share how God strengthened and restored you in the midst of your trial.
(note: recovery from trauma takes time – keep proper boundaries for your own health – recognize your limits – keep a healthy support system for yourself at all times)
Reach out to others with similar interests.
Encouragement is not always about something painful. It can be just as powerful to encourage a positive thing in others. One of my favorite ways to encourage others is with their interest in art. I love to offer my appreciation and expertise to people that are sharing their creations. Teaching, sharing tips, answering questions, and affirming are all ways that I can share my experience as an artist to encourage others that love art. Make a point to notice others with similar interests to you and intentionally encourage them in those interests.
Reach out to younger people.
I love mentoring young women – but I didn’t always feel so confident in this. When I was younger I felt inexperienced, when I got older I felt – well, old! But when I have been obedient to step out and invite younger women into relationship the blessings have been amazing. I learn so much from them and it turns out they don’t think I am so old after all. The book, “Becoming a Woman of Influence” by Carol Kent strongly impacted my view of mentoring, and I have used it several times in a small group setting with younger women. Mentoring does not have to be a formal experience – simply take notice of younger women or girls and begin to speak truth and encouragement into their lives.
Reach out to others with less experience.
Mentoring relationships do not have to be based on age. Offer your experience to someone who simply has less experience than you. You will be amazed at how much you will learn from them as you mutually encourage one another. One of my favorite recent examples was when my friend, Kellie, who is a house painter offered her knowledge, tools, and connections to get us started on renovating our rental house. It was reassuring to know we had what we needed to get the job done – and Kellie was only a phone call away when we needed her advise!
Reach out to others that need your skills.
Sometimes the best encouragement is to offer your service. Someone may not have the interest or time to learn your skill but would greatly benefit from you offering to do something for them. We have many friends with amazing skills – and that comes in handy when we are are in need. I am so thankful for friends like that – especially when we can offer our skills in return when they are in a bind! Think about what you have to offer and how you might be able to use your experience to encourage someone this week.
The encouragement of experience offers requires stepping out of our comfort zones, but in the end, whenever we reach out to others – we are reaching the heart of God.
“The king will reply, ‘Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'”
Matthew 25:40
by wendy | Apr 22, 2020 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Godly Relationships, Prayer, Tips for Encouraging Others
As I was searching the Bible this week for examples of people being strengthened in the Lord, I stumbled across a passage that seems like hidden treasure to me. 1 Samuel 23 tells about David hiding from Saul. Though David never lost faith, he was struggling with fear and discouragement as we all do from time to time – especially in the face of difficulty or danger. Jonathan, the son of David’s enemy, risked life and the favor of his father to go to his friend in time of need. The passage says that Jonathan, “went to David and helped him find strength in God.”
Friends, this should always be our goal in encouraging others. We should not encourage people to find strength in themselves, their circumstances, other people, or in us – true encouragement is to find strength in God alone. David later echoed this same sentiment in one of his Psalms.
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD.”
Psalm 20:7
When we offer the encouragement of prayer, we are helping to strengthen others in God as Jonathon did. When we lift up the concerns of our friends, we are acknowledging the power of God to answer those prayers. When we pray with someone, we are bringing them to the feet of Jesus to find comfort and healing and help. When we ask the discouraged how we can pray for them, we are bearing witness to our faith and trust in His compassion and sovereignty.
Prayer is seen as intensely personal to some, difficult and uncomfortable to others – but Prayer is also a form of encouragement that we can offer to those we don’t even know. Here are some practical ideas for putting the encouragement of prayer into practice with our friends and family as well as strangers on the street.
Make a prayer strategy:
Write down the names of people you intend to pray for intentionally. This could be on a sheet of paper or in a journal. Keep a record of the things you pray for and when they are answered. I make an index card each year for each of my family members. I write the year and the things I am praying for on the cards and make notes through the year of how they are answered. I keep the cards in a photo album and add the new year on top of the last. I can flip through the album as I pray and sometimes take out the previous cards to be reminded of God’s work in their lives throughout the years. I have also used prayer Apps like Echo to keep a list of people to pray for.
Pray as you go:
Pray immediately when your path intersects with a discouraged person. Sometimes I lift those prayers silently, but whenever possible I ask if I can pray with a person immediately. Stopping to pray on the spot ensures that I do not just say, “I will pray for you.” but then forget to do so, and it also encourages the heart of the person I am praying for at that very moment. It may seem uncomfortable to do this at first, but I am always blessed by the encouragement the person receives.
Send a note or message:
I can certainly pray for others without ever letting them know, but it is very encouraging to know that someone is praying for you. A confirmation of this prayer in writing encourages the recipient immediately and serves as a reminder later as well.
Ask how you can pray specifically:
I have been amazed at the responses I get when I ask this question. Many people pause and reflect as though it might be their one opportunity to answer. Some have remarked that they have never been asked the question before. A few have said they don’t need prayer or that I should save the prayer for someone who might need it more. Regardless of their answer, I still pray for them, but I find that the thought that I might actually care enough to ask is encouraging itself. The question is important and valuable and often opens the door to more opportunities for encouragement.
Partner in prayer:
In the last year, a friend offered to partner with me in prayer over a concern in my family. We agreed to meet – by phone – to talk and pray together. After the first meeting, she asked if we could make an appointment to pray together on a regular basis. We quickly expanded our partnership to praying for both of our families, and we have been amazed and grateful at the work we have seen God do in our lives. At first, I assumed this was a ministry my friend had offered to many people throughout the years, but I was astounded to discover that this was the first time she had partnered in prayer this way. We have both been so blessed by this time together and we continue to strengthen each other in the Lord.
Form a Prayer Group:
I once painted in a home where a lady met with a small group of women from her church to pray every week. They asked for the congregation to submit prayer requests to them weekly and they committed to lifting them to God together. These women poured their hearts out week after week for each other, for their families, and for their church.
Whether you choose to pray in person with someone or silently offer prayers on their behalf, practicing the encouragement of prayer is something we all can and should do regularly.
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be make for all people.”
1 Timothy 2:1
by wendy | Apr 16, 2020 | Encouragement, Godly Relationships, Tips for Encouraging Others
Gifts come in many forms, but what makes a gift worth giving is the joy with which it is given.
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
2 Corinthians 9:7
My stepdaughter, Renee, has always been a cheerful giver! When she was little, she would choose things from her room to wrap up and give as gifts. These precious gifts, along with all of the amazing things my children made for me with their own hands, have remained some of my favorites through the years. What is it that makes a gift from the heart so sweet? I believe it is the joy of the giver.
Giving gifts comes more naturally to some of us than others, but we can develop the encouragement of gifts simply by practicing. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Food is an amazing gift! It fills the belly and fills the heart. Choose one thing you are good at making (my chocolate chip cookies are amazing!) and whip up a large batch. Create bundles – attach a note of encouragement – deliver! If you are not confident in your baking (or cooking) skills, then purchase homemade goodies from a local farmer’s market or bakery. Regardless of whose hands stirred the batter, the gift is sure to hit the sweet spot!
Use your skills and passions to create or craft a one-of-a-kind gift. The ideas are endless, and the time and effort put into making something is priceless. Pray over each gift as you make it and send it with a message of love.
-
Give something from nature.
Flowers, plants, a stone from your hike, a feather – these are the gifts that connect us to our creator. We can pass along the gifts of our Father to others and remind them of His love for us as part of his creation. Include a card with a verse of encouragement about the value of each of God’s creations.
We all have something we treasure. When we give away something that is personal and precious to us, it opens our hearts to make room for even more. Sacrificial giving is the purest form of encouragement. Include a handwritten note to explain the significance of the gift and the person receiving it.
Our God is a lavish giver and a practical giver. If you see that someone needs something – give it to them! It may take a little detective work, but meeting a practical need for people is a very gratifying way to encourage. Sometimes it is appropriate to give these gifts anonymously, but whenever possible include a message to let the recipient know it was given in love.
I would love to hear your gift ideas as well – please comment to share the gifts you have given or received lately that offered encouragement.
“Dear children, let us not love with actions and in truth or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18
