by wendy | Jan 7, 2023 | Encouragement For Your Heart
Are you looking for peace in your relationships? Do you sometimes struggle to know how to respond in the midst of conflict or chaos? In this short video, I share the 3 P’s for pursuing peace in your relationships. When you practice these 3 things, you open the door for the peace of God through the Holy Spirit to calm your spirit and enable you to respond in a more godly way.
Pause
Take a breath, refrain from a quick response, ponder.
Use words like, “I hear you, I understand, let me think about that.”
Whenever possible move away from the conflict or chaos and delay your response – at least temporarily.
Pray
There is no greater power than consulting God.
Talking to God first allows you to have His perspective.
Prayer give the Spirit permission to work in you and through you.
Preach (to yourself)
Remind yourself of God’s truth and His promises.
Give God’s voice first place in your thought process.
Allow the Word to renew your mind and transform you.
Strengthen yourself in the Lord.
by wendy | Jan 5, 2023 | Uncategorized
Watch Video Here:
So many people talk about resolutions and goals this time of year – I think we all appreciate new beginnings and second chances and do overs – and I am no different! Over the years my goal setting and resolution making has evolved and I am learning more and more about setting goals with grace and developing a system for continuous assessment and goal setting that makes meeting my goals more actionable and achievable. One of the ways I have streamlined that process is to focus my goals on four main areas in my life – spiritual (God and me), relational (people and me), personal (my body, mind, and home), and financial (my resources and me). I have a series of questions I ask myself regularly and my responses to those questions help me to shape my next steps – my action steps.
Today, I want to share the questions I ask myself about my relationships – and for one main reason. I want us to ponder the question:
Am I an encourager?
In Hebrews 3:13 the Bible tells us to“Encourage each other daily”and I don’t believe this is just a suggestion – the theme of lifting one another up and encouraging each other is repeated over and over in Scripture – I believe encouragement is a very important part of obeying the command to love one another.
Here are the questions I ask myself regularly to honestly assess my relationships with others:
-
How did I encourage or bless others?
-
How did others encourage or bless me?
-
How did I handle situations and conflict?
-
What do I hope to change about my relationships with others?
All of these are great questions to ask ourselves and I think at the core they are getting to the same question:
Am I an encourager?
I think most of us would like to think that we are encouraging – though I have met a few people along the way that make their goal to be as negative and abrasive as possible – I really don’t think most of us aspire to that as a life goal. But are we actually being encouraging on a day to day basis?
If I were to ask someone close to you to describe you would they use the word encouraging?
I truly believe becoming an encourager is an attitude shift and it requires us to be intentional and to actually practice encouragement. That is one of my main goals for this channel – to encourage you – yes – but also to equip you to be encouragers!
In order to make an honest assessment of whether or not you are truly an encourager, lets look at just a few of the qualities the Bible suggests for us:
1. Encourage and strengthen yourself in the LORD
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”
2 Peter 1:3
(see video on contentment)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
God’s Word and His Spirit are the only true encouragement we can count on in this life. His word is living truth and has the power to change our hearts and our minds. When we encourage ourselves by reading, meditating on, and applying God’s Word to our lives and allowing the Holy Spirit to work within us, we have everything we need to encourage others.
2. Think encouraging thoughts
It is a scientific fact that we tend to act based on what we think – this is why the world tends to teach about “Positive thinking” and while positive thinking alone is not enough, the Bible teaches us this concept about our thoughts as well.
“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Philippians 4:8
It is hard to be negative and discouraging when you follow this line of thinking. And please don’t miss that while this list is truly positive – it is not self-focused and that is where we divert from the world’s version of positive thinking.
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Colossians 3:2
This verse reminds us that we should focus our thoughts and minds on a godly perspective rather than a worldly or self-focused perspective. When we begin to see others and the circumstances around them through the eyes of God, we are more likely to be able to encourage them.
3. Smile
I love when science “proves” what God has already told us don’t you? I read an article in Psychology Today that relates the affect that smiling has on our own brain and on the brains of others. The physical act of smiling releases good stuff into our bodies that can have healing effects in ourselves. But smiling is also contagious. Studies show that is actually difficult for someone to not smile when you smile at them. This means that you can help another person release that good stuff into their own bodies! Wow – but we shouldn’t be surprised by this!
“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.”
Proverbs 15:30
“A glad heart makes a happy face … for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.”
Proverbs 15:13-15
I would love to challenge you to try this out – make it an experiment for the week. Whenever you are around others – at home or out and about – practice smiling at people. If you really want to see how this works particularly smile at those that are frowning or seem down. You will be amazed at the reactions you get. If your resting face – or your normal reaction when you look at others – is not to smile, practice can actually change this.
Smiling is the simplest and purest form of encouragement you can give to anyone without even speaking. It lets people know they are seen and appreciated.
4. Listen
We may be afraid of becoming an encourager because we fear we will not have the right words to say, but we can actually be most encouraging by simply listening. Just as people have a need to be seen, they also need to be heard. Listening says to the other person that you care about their words and their feelings. Listening is not the same as agreeing – so you can actively listen to someone that is not like-minded and this increases the chance that they will actually listen to you as well. But it also opens up the opportunity to share your own thoughts in a safe environment. I once had a student say to me that she thought I was very open-minded because I listened to her without judgement. This gave me the opportunity to explain that I was not open-minded (my beliefs and standards are firmly set in biblical teachings) but instead I am open-hearted. It is only when the world can see us as caring and loving instead of judgmental and hypocritical, that we are demonstrating the love of Christ.
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”
James 1:19
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
Proverbs 18:13
5. Speak encouraging words
I have often been challenged to listen to my own words and to think about what effect they have had on others. Our words have such power and yet we sometimes fling them around as if they have no consequence. I left this one until last because I think it is impossible to speak truly encouraging words unless we first encourage ourselves, think encouraging thoughts, smile, and listen. Once those things are firmly in place, we cannot help but to speak the right thing.
One of the most challenging verses in the Bible is from Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29
We could spend hours unpacking that verse, but for right now let’s simply put our own words through that filter for the next several days. Test yourself to see if you are able to stick to that standard or do you find yourself muttering unwholesome and unhelpful things to others or about others.
Here is a verse I have often prayed as I have asked the Lord to help me to be an encourager:
“The Sovereign LORD has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.”
Isaiah 50:4
by wendy | Dec 8, 2022 | Tips for Encouraging Others, Uncategorized
There is perhaps no better season for encouragement than the holidays – especially at Christmas. In general, most of us are in a giving mood around this time of year – and that attitude primes our heart for encouragement. But we need to realize that this time of year is not jolly for everyone. In fact, many people around us are hurting in a variety of ways. For this reason, its important for us to have our eyes and our hearts open for the many opportunities to encourage those around us – both our friends and family and those we don’t even know.
You might have an opportunity through your church or another organization that you belong to – to give money or gifts to someone in need. Maybe you have someone in your own family that has a particular need you can fill during this time. But if you are like many people, you would like to give to someone but you aren’t really sure where that gift should go.
7 IDEAS FOR BEING READY TO ENCOURAGE
Watch the Video
Often we would love to give or encourage but we aren’t prepared when the time is right. Here are seven ideas for being ready to give and encourage when the opportunity arises:
1. Purchase Gift Cards
Purchase a gift card (or several) from your local big box store or grocery store and keep them in your purse or wallet. You can wait to see someone in need and give them on the spur of the moment – like in a grocery store line. You can put them in a card and mail them to someone. You can give them to your pastor or someone else who may have the knowledge of someone in need.
2. Make a Food Basket
Purchase food items and make a basket to deliver to someone who is struggling or donate it to your local food pantry or social services. Include some essentials and some special treats – have some fun with this. Even if you don’t know who to give it to just yet, prepare it and have it ready.
3. Purchase a box of Christmas Cards
Purchase a box of Christmas cards and sign them with an encouraging note or verse inside. Seal them and put them in your purse or bag. Hand them out to anyone that you think might need a bright spot in their day. It could be your waitress at a restaurant or the young man that checks out your groceries. Or deliver them to your local nursing home or the prison where people might not receive any Christmas cards.
4. Bake some Goodies
Make some baked goods and wrap them up. Deliver them to a service organization – like the firehouse or police station. Or hand them out to the homeless. Or take them to your neighbors.
5. Plan a Meal
Plan a meal and be prepared to invite someone to your home to share it with you and your family. Pray about who might need that gift of hospitality, and then as the time gets closer you can make the invitation.
6. Plan to Help
Look around your neighborhood and think about some people who could use your help. These could be small things like filling the bird feeder or fixing their mailbox, or bigger things like cutting down a dead tree. Plan a time to show up with whatever tools might get the job done and the help that you need to get it accomplished.
7. Purchase Poinsettias
Purchase poinsettias and anonymously drop them off on the porch of someone who could use some cheer. Or deliver them to someone’s office or take them to the hospital and ask for them to go to someone who needs it.
Its really all about being ready to encourage and sometimes that takes a little planning. Even if you don’t yet know who needs the encouragement – you can take the steps to have something ready to give when that opportunity presents itself. We may never know how far this small act of encouragement will go, but we can be sure that we are sharing God’s love with others when spread some Holiday cheer this season.
“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
Proverbs 11:25
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Direction, Encouragement, Encouragement from the Word, Lifestyle Encouragement, Prayer, The Art of Encouraging
Building a dream is hard work – in fact, it is probably the hardest work I have ever done! It requires planning, waiting, changing plans, waiting some more, actual manual labor, oh – and did I mention waiting?
Every time I discover that I need to wait more, discouragement rears its ugly head. I actually had to talk myself out of the tree of despair today as it began to settle on me that my building might not be finished before cold weather. I reminded myself that it would be okay. There is no time limit on dream-building. I will just have to make an alternate plan – and wait.
It is actually quite interesting to discover that waiting builds character. It gives me time to refine – and redefine- my dream. It causes me to slow down and savor the moments of building my dream instead of rushing ahead and missing the steps along the way. Waiting causes me to spend more time in prayer – seeking guidance, asking for help, expressing gratitude for what I have. It gives me time for creating and exploring new ideas. Waiting strengthens my resolve.
Building a dream is hard work – and I suppose it should be. If it were easy and came quickly, I might be tempted to let it go just as easily. This way, the planning, revising, manual labor – and even the waiting – will all undergird the final spectacular result that I have been dreaming about. And that is worth waiting for!
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Tips for Encouraging Others
When I was in 4th grade, my teacher, Mrs. Sparks, gave the class chalk pastels and paper and some free time to create. I drew a picture of an Easter basket and she thought it was fabulous. She made a big deal about it and hung it on the board. I thought to myself, “now there is something I can do,” and so I have! That one action from a teacher set the course of my life. Of course, there were many people along the way who supported me, taught me, inspired me, but she lit a “spark” in my soul with her encouragement.
I ran across that drawing today as I was cleaning out some things. It isn’t magnificent. I have had many students significantly more talented than I was at that age. But she saw something in my drawing and in my passion that she felt worthwhile to encourage. She didn’t know that art would become my life’s work. She couldn’t have guessed that I would spend many years encouraging future students. There was no hint that I would paint on many walls and and illustrate books and create for both profession and pleasure. She didn’t know. But she did it anyway – and I am so glad she did!
Teaching art to children gives me the chance to do the same. And maybe I have not taught the next Michaelangelo, but I have taught many children who have gone on to study art and to become artists. Hopefully I have taught many more who have grown up to appreciate art. Perhaps, I have taught a few who, had I not encouraged, would never have known that was what they were supposed to do.
This week I taught a group of children how to draw a pig. We focused on overlapping and other drawing skills. Their sketches were beautiful! When I gave them paper to draw the final product, a few of their pigs suddenly became biker pigs and pirate pigs and pigs with disco balls and earrings! It wasn’t what I was expecting, but the joy and passion those kids had in creating their art was far more important than having a museum quality piece of art in the end.
Why do I love teaching art to children? I love it because I get to teach, encourage, and then step back and watch the purest form of expression one will ever see!
