by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Encouragement, Encouragement from the Word, Godly Relationships, Lifestyle Encouragement, Tips for Encouraging Others
I have begun writing again! I am excited to feel the words and ideas bubbling up and spilling onto the page after a long drought of silence. One of the projects I started years ago is a book about encouraging others daily. God has been giving me opportunities to live these examples – whether I am the encourager or the recipient of the encouragement. I have been organizing these ideas into categories such as Hospitality, Gifts, the Encouragement of Words, etc. Here is a post about the Encouragement of Hospitality – with a twist!
Story-telling
This Thanksgiving I had the amazing privilege of listening to the stories of several recovering addicts. The program my son is attending for his own recovery hosted the families for the Holiday. Some families came, but many of the men were without family and they seemed grateful for the fellowship. I moved around the ranch asking each person I met to share how they came to be where they were. It was a unique opportunity to discover the humanity and humility of those who had hit rock bottom. Most stories had a similar element – they longed to be right with their families again. They were in various stages of their recovery – one there less than a week, several at the half-way mark of six months, one just returned after 30 years, and one graduating and leaving that day! A few were still harboring regret and bitterness, some full of peace, most excited and ready to move on. I listened – and promised to pray – but mostly just listened. Every time they tell their stories, they share how God has saved them from a life of destruction. They tell of their freedom and the hope they have for their future. Every story told is speaking life and truth into their own hearts and it is good for them to tell it! They may have hosted us, but I invited them to tell their stories.
Sometimes hospitality is simply inviting someone into your presence, even if it occurs in their space. Go to a soup kitchen, nursing home, women’s shelter, prison, school, or anywhere that there are people who cannot come to you. Enter their presence but invite them into yours. Don’t just visit – interact, ask questions, and listen! Pray with people, share your own story, and care. Telling their story may be the very thing that gives them the courage to go on one more day!
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Lifestyle Encouragement
The Blessing of Bartimaeus
We were offered the opportunity last week to take on a blind, bottle-fed calf that was rejected by his mom. Jerry has been wanting a cow forever so we leapt at the opportunity. Bartimaeus, named after the blind man Jesus healed, came home with us in our mini-van, and captured the hearts of many as we posted videos and shared news of his tenuous first week of life. Alas, our Bart did not receive the healing we prayed for – but while his time on earth was short, it was not wasted. Our farm animals provide us with food, fun for family and friends, and even a small income occasionally – but animals like Bart – the ones that don’t live very long – provide us with things equally as important.
Our experience with Bartimaeus reminded us that life is fragile. There is really nothing more exciting than witnessing birth. The bursting forth of new life into the world, the first breath and struggle to find its footing, the mother’s instinctual nurturing and feeding amaze me every time! But just as quickly as life begins, it also ends. Those basic activities that we take for granted – eating, breathing, even seeing – those things are a gift. Experiencing farm life with animals like Bart reminds us to treasure those gifts.
We did everything we could to help Bart. We brought him into the living room to warm him, gave him a nutrient boost for energy, took him to the vet for antibiotics – and for a while it seemed that he might make it. It is a good feeling to save a life, but the loss of life brings humility. It is good to help and it is always worth the effort, but we don’t really have the power to save a life. Every time one of our animals dies, I am reminded who the giver and sustainer of life is – and I am reminded that I am not Him!
When we accepted the invitation to take Bartimaeus, it was all about us. We were looking forward to owning a cow. Whether he would become meat in the freezer or a giant pet, we had something to gain from this creature. We were excited about the bottle-feeding experience as well as the fun he would provide for our guests. It didn’t take long though before we began to understand that we would need to offer Bart love even if he had nothing to offer us. People often enjoy their pets because of the unconditional love they receive from the animal, but taking care of a sick critter reverses the trend. Caring for Bart and other ailing animals allows us to practice loving without the expectation of a benefit in return.
There is no better way to teach compassion to kids than to offer the opportunity to live it. My children – and other kids in our neighborhood – rallied around to love on Bart. They saw his dilemma and they were moved to do something. One of our kids carried the 100 pound calf across the yard and into the house. Another laid in the barn and played the sounds of recorded cows to comfort him. They mixed bottles, checked on him, prayed for him, and gently rubbed his neck. I am a firm believer that compassion breeds compassion, and though Bartimaeus died, those that helped him were impacted purely by the experience of helping. Each of us involved received a blessing that cannot be taken away.
Our family is busy! All six of us have work, school, sports, activities – not to mention the animals and the normal farm work – but all it takes is the situation of a sick or dying animal to put our priorities into perspective. Life goes on around us and we must continue with most of our routine, but where we previously thought there was no extra time, there suddenly becomes time. Though we had believed we were out of energy, we immediately become energized. When our hearts seemed to have become calloused to death, our sensitivity swiftly returns. Raising farm animals has a way of causing a reset that adjusts our focus and brings us back to reality and truth.
Bartimaeus gently passed away this morning and yes, we are sad. This wasn’t the outcome we hoped for him or for us – yet we rejoice! Bart is no longer suffering and we are so much better for having loved him. Rest in peace Bartimaeus – you fought a good fight!
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Encouragement from the Word, Lifestyle Encouragement, Prayer
Several years ago, in the midst of the chaos of life, finding myself surrounded by messes, I cried out to God! “Please,” I pleaded with Him, “Please, fix my house!” I asked with desperation and urgency, but I asked with faith. I had visions of my prayer being answered by a certain reality TV crew sweeping in and leveling the mess we had made. Meanwhile, we would be sent away on vacation to dream about the amazingly dramatic new structure that would be revealed to us when we returned. I still think that would be nice!
God has been answering that prayer that I still repeat on a regular basis, though not as I had envisioned. Of course, God never answers my prayers the way I envision. He always does it so much better! I wanted a quick fix, an instant answer. I wanted all of our mistakes and oversights and messes to be blown up or pushed down and swept away. I wanted a do over – but I wanted to start brand new and instantly. Thank God He knows better than we do! He is a God who is more about the process than the product. He knows that we must take part in the change in order for the change to be real and lasting. While I thought it would have been great to go away and come home to a total transformation, God is the type of renovator that requires the homeowners to be fully present and completely involved.
In my prayer, I was really just asking God for a new house with clean closets and finished rooms, but God knew that more than just my house needed fixing. I really needed Him to fix my home, and that would turn out to be so much more than had entered my mind that day. I am so glad that God does not just hear the cry of my mouth – He also hears the cry of my heart! Though our house fix does sometimes include the actual building that we live in, it often includes many other aspects of our home, including, but not limited to, our finances, our health, our relationships, our faith, etc.
Many years later, we are still working on the fixing of this house and home. My children are nearly grown and it still seems that we are as big of a mess as we have always been – but just the other day I sat overwhelmed by the “fixing” that has been done. I have watched as our oldest son leveled his life with the mess he made. Though he was not sent away on a dream vacation, he was given a break from life in order that he might be rebuilt. I stand amazed as I look at the masterpiece he is becoming. God is teaching him to use the gifts he has been given for amazing things. Our daughter has been quietly undergoing her own transformation as God builds her confidence and boldness. Gradually, she is revealing gifts she has kept tucked neatly away – surprising us all. Before my eyes, she is unfurling like a beautiful – and fierce – flower! Our youngest two, who in the past almost always participated in similar activities, are developing their own interests and boldly pursuing their choices.
My house is still a mess. We are busy and unorganized and exhausted most of the time, but we are also fulfilled and joyous and grateful. Our life is not designed to be lived neatly and without interruption – it is messy and always evolving. I would still like to hone my less than perfect housekeeping skills, but I am thankful that God has been able to use our mess to create a masterpiece!
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Proverbs 14:1
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
Isaiah 58:12
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Encouragement, Encouragement from the Word, Godly Relationships, Lifestyle Encouragement, Tips for Encouraging Others
A friend invited me to come to her house to help her with a painting the other day. Her table looked similar to mine – paints, brushes, projects in a variety stages – but it was exciting to me to walk into her “studio”! We painted a little together and enjoyed some fellowship at the same time. I left refreshed and inspired. Do you share a hobby or interest with other women? Invite them to join you in your space to create together. A fresh atmosphere coupled with the company will be an exciting change to their regular routine
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Lifestyle Encouragement
Our family has been a part of the farm from the beginning! We added animals that interested the kids. We helped them learn to raise, breed, and care for them. In some cases, we have raised animals fo pets and in others, their purpose was to provide something for the farm. Either way, all of our children have been involved in every aspect of the building of Cornercopia!
As you can see, our kids aren’t little anymore. They have grown up tall (I am the shortest in our family now!) and strong. They are involved in many of their own interests. They work, play sports, attend school, and in some cases, live away from home. Each of them still help out when they are around, but for the most part, Jerry and I are on our own when it comes to the farm.
What a joy it is when we all get together though! I love having a full nest, even when it is temporary. It is wonderful when they are around to help with the farm chores, but it really is their company that I enjoy the most!
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Encouragement, Encouragement For Your Heart, Encouragement from the Word, Godly Relationships, Hospitality
My friend Kate and I had a coffee date date with Agnes yesterday and it reminded me of the story I had previously written. I hope it brings you inspiration today!
Excerpt from A Cup of Encouragement – A Refill of Inspiration
The See-Through House
I had it in mind to visit with my neighbor, Agnes, after dropping the kids off at school this morning. As I passed her house, I glanced over to see if she was home. If her front door was open it would be a sign that visitors were welcome at this time. Sure enough, I was able to see through the glass of her storm door, right into her living room. As I continued past the house though, the living room was not all I could see! Agnes also had the back door open and I had a view of the beautiful morning sky behind her house. The clear shot through both of her doors was the perfect frame for the spectacular sight that I would have otherwise missed!
I did go back and visit with Agnes later, and I really enjoyed the time I had to chat with her. Her home is warm and welcoming and so full of light. We chatted about memories and present struggles, and through it all was woven our experiences of God’s grace and mercy. Though there is nothing that can take the place of fellowship with another believer, I couldn’t take my mind off of the view I had seen through Agnes’ “see-through” house. The more I thought about that view, the more I realized that I want my life to be “see-through” as well.
Like my neighbor’s home, I would like my life to have an open front door – a sign that people are always welcome. I want to be available and approachable at all times. Often though, I close the door, hiding my mess, seeking privacy, and masking my loneliness with busyness. It is not that I don’t want the company of others, but instead, I am sometimes afraid of what they might think if I let them inside. Unfortunately, what I often neglect to understand is that it is not what my life looks like that is important to others, as much as the encouragement that I have to offer when they come in.
Also like Agnes, I would like to remember to leave the back door open as well. While an open front door symbolizes a welcome sign to all who pass by, it is the light that shines through me that enables them to see me before they come in. Though the light of Christ is open and wide for all to see, many miss it unless it is framed by an ordinary life. When others can see Christ shining through me, illuminating my real and tangible characteristics, His beauty comes into focus. When I invite others in, but keep closed the door that lets in the light, they get but a faded glimpse of who I really am.
A home bathed in light is beautiful no matter what the contents. A home full of warmth is welcoming no matter its splendor. Leave the front door of your life open, throw open the back door to let in the light. When others see through your life and capture the awesomeness of God, you will be amazed at the company that will stop by!
No one lights a lamp, then hides it in a drawer.
It’s put on a lamp stand so those entering the room
have light to see where they’re going.
Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.
Luke 11:33,36 (The Message)
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Tips for Encouraging Others
You may not have picked up on this yet, but I am working on a book about encouraging others daily. At this point, I am just collecting snippets of ideas and examples. If you would like to share a story of encouragement with me, please email comment on this post or email me at wendycuster@gmail.com – I may include a version of it in the book.
Here is one I recently recorded:
My friend, Liana, recently posted about the encouragement jar her teenage daughter made her for Christmas. Kristen used quotes about mothers for her encouragement and her mom was instructed to read one a week for the year. The second message she withdrew from the jar included a timely message that seemed penned for exactly that day! The message was uplifting for Liana and the post not only complimented Kristin, but it also encouraged the rest of us to remember just how much power our written words can hold .
Make an encouragement jar. Write scriptures and encouraging messages on small pieces of paper. Fold each piece and place them into a decorated jar. Present the jar to someone in need of encouragement. Attach a note that explains that they can draw out a note of encouragement whenever they need it!
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | The Art of Encouraging
Connection
We spent all day today driving from one side of our state to the other visiting two of the colleges that accepted my step-daughter, Renee. We wanted her to be able to make a clear comparison between the two, having previously visited them months apart. After each appointment, I tried to ask Renee to share her thoughts about the schools, but she struggled to verbalize her feelings. Renee is an internal processor, she prefers to weigh things out quietly for some time and then share only her ultimate decision. I, on the other hand, need to discuss things out loud in order to think things through thoroughly.
I have a variety of interests – teaching, painting, writing – but my favorite activity is to visit with people. I sometimes view that as an extravagance instead of a necessity, but I am beginning to understand that my time with others is a valuable part of my work life as well as my personal preference. Coffee with a friend is actually an important piece of my creative process. I need to paint, write, and plan in peaceful solitude, but once I have an idea in mind, it comes alive more fully after I share it with someone. Hearing myself explain the idea and listening to feedback concretes the idea and helps me tweak it to perfection. I love collaboration and since I don’t have a team of people to work with, chatting with my friends fills that need for me!
It’s not only talking through my ideas that enhances my creativity, but listening to the ideas of my friends fills me with even more. I gather energy from listening, offering encouragement, and simply being together. A life lived in relationship with diverse friends makes my wheels turn. I am inspired, empowered, and energized.
After reading several articles, I am beginning to believe that spending time with friends is not just a leisure activity, it is one of the most valuable tools to keeping my heart, mind, and even body healthy and alert. It seems that connection is one of my keys to creativity!
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | The Art of Encouraging
I have finally begun to enjoy music again! This will come as a huge surprise to some who know me well. I haven’t enjoyed music in a long time – about 5 years to be exact. I think it because I didn’t have any quiet space in my head – ever – and the music was just more noise.
I have always considered myself to be an extrovert, until recently. I think I may be both. I learned that an extrovert is one who becomes energized by being with people and an introvert is energized by being alone. I love to be with people, but I really need alone time. Though I tend to process ideas by talking them through with others, I need that peaceful solitude to think, plan, and create. When I don’t have enough space between interactions, my brain just becomes a jumbled mess.
I have so many thoughts running through my head at one time! I am often planning classes, writing stories, thinking of new projects, scheduling family activities, wrestling with new ideas, thinking about friends, praying constantly, all at once. I have been known to joke that I have thousands of new ideas per second – and it really doesn’t seem to be much of an exaggeration – but when I don’t have quiet time to sort it all out, I feel like I may explode.
Since I have returned to working from home, I have more control over the quiet in my day. I can vary the time I spend interacting and the time I spend reflecting. I feel like my soul is healing. I still prefer to paint without music – but I actually turn on the music occasionally when I am alone. It seems that quiet is one of my keys to creativity.
by wendy | Nov 11, 2021 | Lifestyle Encouragement
Did I ever tell you that I once prayed for adventure? It was during a time when I was feeling lost, abandoned, and like I was missing out on life. I had already cried all of my tears, prayed my heart out, and slept a lot of my days away, when I began to yearn to live again. I craved adventure and so I asked for it. Do you know what happened? God gave me Jerry Custer!
This man has been an adventure since the moment I laid eyes on him! He keeps my life interesting and things around here are never dull. This farm, the animals, our family, our friends, our life – even a trip to Walmart is interesting with him! One of the first things I loved about Jerry was the way he made me laugh, and he is still cracking me up today!
Today is Jerry’s birthday, and while we don’t have any special plans – I might not even get to see him today 🙁 – I am celebrating him. This man makes all my dreams come true. Jerry believes in me, loves me, shares his dreams with me, and tolerates my craziness every day. While he is not perfect, he is perfect for me.
Happy Birthday baby! Here is to a lifetime of adventure!
